Ok i admit it i need some advice...im 16...i think schools a drag...Id rather play video games then homework...yet i go anyway to prepare my self for the raeal world...which is also a drag. Well back to my question, theres this girl at school, blonde and shes really cool but its obvious she has a mad crush on me. Plp im not gay but i dont feel like having a realationship in high school saying "oh i love you" when i really dont mean it, saying "ill marry you one day" when i really dont and all that other high school couple stuff. She hugs me out of no where, buys me $50 dollar sweaters, gives me stuff...i mean where is this coming from??? Im not some moocher like those other dudes and i dont keep her gifts...the thing is, i dont feel a bit of the same feelings she does for me. How can i put her down gentley without her getting to emotional about it, i hate to be mean to plp or give an impreession im mean but pff...what a drag. And you perves out their dont tell me some bull that i should do some immoral stuff with her cuz i wont...im not that kinda guy. But advice what i should do plz. (Man what a drag.)
2007-01-05 00:56:39 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hmm..it's always difficult when feelings are not reciprocated. There are really two things that you can do:
(a) Go out with someone else, someone who you care about. It does not have to be a "I love you' relationship, it can be a 'I Like you' relationship where you just hang out.
or
(b) Tell her that you are not interested in a relationship. Be honest. Do not accept any more gifts from her, you are just leading her on. If I were that girl, I would prefer that you take me to a quiet place and explain the situation. I stress BE GENTLE. Do not hurt or embarrass her.
Hope this helps,
Athma
2007-01-05 01:02:58 · answer #1 · answered by Nita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are adamant about not having a relationship while in school (sounds like the problem is more on your end than hers) then being honest and upfront is the best policy always with any dealings with fellow human beings.
Personally I would stop forgoing her advances and see what comes out of it by setting strict standards of what you will want or do in the relationship.
This is also part of the growing up aspect of adulthood and lving in the real world. Trying something like this whether it turns out positive or negative is a GOOD experience.
You can't get any experience if you stand on the sidelines.
2007-01-05 09:00:36 · answer #2 · answered by moudoku 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try doing stuff with her, like going to the movies or hanging out with her and your friends, if she comes on strong don't push her away, keep her as a friend, she might need you right now for a bit of support even if you don't like her right now. I found that those types of people are very help full later in life when everyone else has let you down or disappeared.
2007-01-05 09:06:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write her a letter that says this but clean it up a little. Tell her how you feel. She may not care that you don't feel the same way and she may be happy just being your friend. If she can't handle how you feel then she doesn't care as much about you as you think she does. Give her the letter in person and tell her that you want to discuss it with her. PS I would mention that you don't keep her gifts, that part was just mean.
2007-01-05 09:01:36 · answer #4 · answered by RayCATNG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all, assuming that you really are 16 and this story is true, 2 things:
Fist of all, check your spelling, please! it's awful....
And second, don't give her any reasons to believe that you are interested in her, and explain it gently, being nice but not too sweet, because she might 'read' something different between the lines, believe me, we women normally do, and that should be it. She will be mad at you for a while, but it's the only way.
If that doesn't work, don't do anything else, it just means she has no self esteem....
2007-01-05 09:03:34 · answer #5 · answered by Barbs-mom of boy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being honest isn't always nice but it's right, If you don't be honest, you're leading her on. You don't have to be cruel, take her aside in private & just let her know, you think she's a cool friend but that's all. It has nothing do with her. You can still come of this the nice guy you are.
2007-01-05 09:01:21 · answer #6 · answered by annette_642 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay you need to let her know right away that you don't feel that way. As tough as it may be to not accept the presents, you really shouldn't. By accepting them, you are leading her on to believe you are into her. Just let her know that you consider her a 'good friend' . That way you can subtly tell her that you dont like her in "that way" but without being mean. Don't lead the poor girl on though..that can backfire, cause a bad rep and chase other girls that you MAY like, away.
2007-01-05 08:59:56 · answer #7 · answered by Pretty_in_Pink 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please make sure first of all that you are not leading her on. I think what the thing to do would be to take her some place quiet and sorta say "Listen I need you to know that I dont feel the same way, I like you, your really nice but I dont like you in a boyfriend girlfriend Way" i think this is the only way to do it
Goodluck :)
2007-01-05 09:02:05 · answer #8 · answered by -Ashlee- Eeeep! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a chat with her and explain where it is you stand. Don't do it at school.....go out for pizza or something, but explain first it's not a date.......or maybe you can ask her advice about another girl. That will give her a little hint that your not into her that there might be someone else.
2007-01-05 09:00:43 · answer #9 · answered by Chris M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be completely honest with her and if she still doesn't get it then she has major issues and she will just have to learn her life lessons the hard way. Stay true to yourself and all will work out!
Good luck Sweetie :)
2007-01-05 09:03:00 · answer #10 · answered by sweetangel_blonde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋