My son goes to his grandmas on his dads side at least once per week, when he comes home, he comepletly rejects me. I am torn to peices. This is my baby and I do everything to show him that I love him. It takes two days from the time he gets back, to even hug me! Lately he has been calling his grandma...momma! Which I didnt take offense to because he is only a baby and I figured that was how he said grandma! How do I get him back into MY HEART? Help!
2007-01-04 23:55:59 · 17 answers · asked by dlmk 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Don't worry, it is a phase all children go through. In a way, I know he is wrong, but it can be his way of punishing you for leaving him with his Grandma. Children can tell if you have a reaction to there behaviour and will work off of that. He probably can tell you are upset by it so he keeps ignoring your attention. It will pass, just don't let him get to you and it will pass sooner. As far as him calling Grandma, Momma, you are right, that may be the only way he can say it. My daughter though has always had a special bond with her Granny that is almost like a mother daughter thing, and I encourage it because I had a lousy grandmother and am glad she likes hers. But when push comes to shove, such as she has a boo boo, or is sick, it is mommy she needs right away. Don't worry, he doesn't love you any less than he did before, it is just a phase, and this too shall pass!
2007-01-05 00:18:06 · answer #1 · answered by gypsyiiiis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"time out" is not adequate for a little girl. They do not understand. It is a punishment that doesn't do anything but give you time. She is 19 months for heaven's sake. She might not like people touching her. It could just be her personality. When she smacks you or your husband just tell her it's not right and it hurts and do the same to her (obviously not hard). It's not so much the pain that hurts them, just the idea. Then just walk away and ignore her. She will soon want you to pick her up or hold her. My daughter was the same way. Children, especially toddlers, like to play games with the parents. You just have to show her that they won't work. Hope everything turns out ok. Email me if you need anything else. God bless!
2016-05-23 05:35:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though we dont have that problem with our 13month old baby, my wife would always feel the same way. His grandmas love him very much, but we, as parents always enforce strict rules they have to follow if we leave him for a while. Our grandmas understand that this is for their benefit as well. Of course they have their own unique fun games that my baby loves, but it doesnt mean my wife and i dont have our own unique plays and fun times too. My son knows exactly what kind of fun he can get where, so he doesnt differentiate between the two or three "types of love" he's getting from either side. Find out what he does or plays at grandmas, find your unique thing he loves to do only with you. Interest him with something grandmas cant or dont do. Make it interesting for him to be with you. There are plenty of educational and fun games/toys that you can interest your baby (but dont spoil him rotten yourself). Our favorit site is http://www.SpiffyBaby.com.
Most importantly, try to spend TIME with your baby. Just ignore everything in the world and be with him. As soon as he sees you're more then a "rules regulator" and "cruel diaper changer" bur rather fun person to play with, he'd show you his love. Dont worry, he already loves you, just doesnt show it yet.
2007-01-05 02:43:30 · answer #3 · answered by dannyhashovav 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a rejection. This is all about control. Basically, he is feeling emotions that he has always associated only with you, but all of us love more than one person in our family. Then, you try to win him back and he feels powerful.
I think a great way to deal with this is to talk a lot about family and love when Grandma is and isn't in the picture. You can show him pictures of lots of family members, you can't talk about loving your own mother and father, siblings. There are also books about family love.
It would also help for you to show that you love grandma too and for grandma to show she loves you. As difficult as it can be for a saughter in-law, mother in-law to do. When you greet her, you should give her a hug or a kiss on the cheek and say "It's so nice to see you." and when you leave, she should hug you and say "Have a nice time, it was nice to see you." Then, you should both tell your son "Kiss grandma hello," and "Kiss mummy goodbye".
Even a 19 month-old boy has enough love in his heart for everyone. Sharing it, makes it grow.
And sharing your son's love is good for you too.
2007-01-05 00:15:22 · answer #4 · answered by baggyk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grandma is once or twice a week. She probably spoils him rotten when he is there. As he gets older, he will understand that though Grandma spoils him, Mom loves him just as much. He will also begin to understand what he can get away with at Grandma's and what he can get away with at home. My daughter was the same way. She is 5 now, but she stays every other weekend at Grandma's house. She knows the rules here, and she knows the rules there. Just give it time and he will eventually understand.
2007-01-05 00:13:13 · answer #5 · answered by Jodi C 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Actually this is fairly normal, and has nothing to do with Grandma spoiling him. Grandma must be giving him loads of lovin' just like his Momma, and anyone that is that wonderful will get the name "momma" . I wonder how he behaves when he first gets to his grandmothers house? Could it be that he is slightly rejecting of her as well? Don't try to compete, it will only lead to a life time of problems. Just be yourself. He is always in your heart, and will love you the most in the world forever.
2007-01-05 00:08:57 · answer #6 · answered by I_Love_Life! 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all your not a bad mother don't ever think or say that! What he is doing is normal he is just changing and kind of testing his boundaries, He still loves you he is just getting ready to be more independent. He will go back to the hanging all over mommy stage again soon. Just don't force him to hug you or anything when he is pushing you away those first few days, still tell him you love him and just let him come give you lovings when he is ready, It will all go back to normal soon.
2007-01-05 00:03:30 · answer #7 · answered by brokengoddess13 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
once a week is not a big deal to take such a big impact on you, I would sugest that you do something fun when your son comes home from grandma so he can see that being home is just as special as going to grandma's.
2007-01-05 00:02:22 · answer #8 · answered by Lara <:(((>< 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
grandmothers love to spoil the grandbabies. I think that with him going to different that he may be confussed to just keep showing him that you love him and as he gets a older then he will understand more. I know that this just tears your heart out but I know that he loves you.
2007-01-05 00:06:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
does grandma spoil him when hes there that's what they do they have the fun with them and hand them back there job is to enjoy them yours to bring them up so you have to say no etc he doesn't do it to hurt you and the wind will change and all he'll want is mummy don't worry you a good mum
2007-01-05 00:09:10 · answer #10 · answered by noot 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋