Long distance relationships?

Question

Hello, i'm 25 and have a soulmate that lives in Thailand (no silly comments-Thailand is a beautiful place country). She is 25 also and we have known eachother for over 3 years and talk nearly everyday on webcam and phone calls and msn- we have so much in comon its just great and makes us both so happy. I am finally going to visit her in April this year and she is going to show me the real Thailand (I have never been before). I have told her a while back that I have deeper feelings for her than just friendship, and I have never met a girl so sesitive and caring as her. She values a relationship very highly as, like myself, she has been hurt in the past. Obviously, we will know for certain if it's true love when we meet. My worry is, what if we do fall completely in love?? Im in UK and she's over there? Could it work? We have a very strong friendship and value it as no.1 so we have said no matter what, if relationship don't happen we will always be best friends.Best answer will be chosen

Thanks for your answers, I ran out of space to type. Has anyone made it work? Ya know I read my horoscopes and for the year 2007 it even said a love romance will happen in April (thats when Im going!) and that there will be a big change in a relationship (friendship becoming romance?) It's still seeming hard to believe.
But yes you are right, people only hold themselves back in life from achieving.
Oh I forgot to say, she has deeper feelings for me too- but needs reassurance my love for her is true- at the moment words are all we have to tell her how much she means to me. Like when I get there, we guna do the simple things like just lie on beach and lookin at the stars, going to the famous night market- going to elephant island and bathing in the clear waters- tradition is that women do all cooking etc- a man has never cooked for her ever- I cant wait to do these simple things for her- and enjoy our 2weeks in eachothers company as much as possible until its time to part once again.

PS I want to start a family and be married cuz I love tradition and I love kids. I'm the youngest in my fam- my older bro n sis are both happily married and have kids

Answer 1

well....all you can do is try...long distance relationships are difficult at best...but, you won't know unless you try...good luck when you meet her..have a wonderful time and worst case you have made a wonderful friend....good luck

Answer 2

Hi
Nothing is stronger than the combined will of two people who want to be together.

The problem with long distance is that you spend a lot of time apart when it is possible for either party to secretly explore other options. Often someone will shop around not because they do not want the long distance relationship to work, but because they are afraid that it might not. They may settle for something else for exactly this reason.

Your girlfriend lives in a culture where there is not much opportunity for women and the pressure to find someone to marry her whilst she is young will be enormous. She will fear that waiting for you may ultimately leave her on the shelf in a land where she will need to find someone to provide for her - because she has very few other options to survive (survive - not be happy).

Her family & friends will be advising her not to put all her eggs into your basket - not because its you, but because this is good advice for her.

Also, even if you decide that you want to be together, never underestimate the enormity of courage & conviction it will require for someone from a poor country (where girls are regularly conned into coming to the west to be sold into forced prostitution) to take the chance on visiting you. To demonstrate that this is not your motive you should pay for her ticket to visit plus one for a male friend or relative.

Your situation is difficult but not impossible, only not taking a risk on your heart makes it so

Good luck and act as soon as you are sure

Answer 3

As long as you both are being totally honest to one another, it can work.
I had met up with someone, and same thing, we said, if the "connection" in real life isn't there, we would remain friends. That has held true. He and I have kept great friends. Would I have wanted more, absolutely, but was I willing to keep it on the friend level. Yes.
But, if someone isn't revealing truely what they can or will do, if the feelings are not reciprocated...you may not.

Good luck to you.
You can overcome the long distance thing, but I won't kid you, it is a LOT of work.
:-)

Answer 4

Hi, There's no reason why you cant have a long distant relationship, that's what you have right now!!!, wheres the difference, apart from sleeping with each other!!!! If you don't want to move over there and she don't want to move here , then you will have to settle with long visits! At the end of the day one of you will have to make major changes, which will prove exactly weather you are truly in love or not!!!!

Answer 5

i know this isnt the same but, me and my partner met on the interent over 7 years ago he lived in london i lived in the north west (approx 4 hours away) and guess what a year after meeting we got together full time traveling etc, and in the last 3 years living together permanately, and now have a beautiful 8 month old little girl. anyways my theory is, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE, YOU ONLY FIND YOUR SOUL MATE ONCE, IF URE HEART SAYS GO, GO, DONT HOLD BACK DUE TO SOCIETY OR HOW OTHER PEOPLE FEEL, GOOD LUCK X

Answer 6

I am in a long distance relationship like yourself . It started over the internet and continued and continues to grow. I went to visit her last summer and during that visit we were engaged. I will tell you it is not easy and requires a great deal of work but sometimes things are just right. Always remember , nothing ventured, nothing gained. Best of luck to you and her.

Answer 7

You have really answered your own question.
Even if the romantic relationship doesn't work out you will remain great friends. What more could you want.
I think long-distance romantic relationships can work (calls, myspace, msm), but you need to see each other sometimes.
At least three times a year, I'd say.

Answer 8

if you two are meant to be then you wil make it work. althugh you might have to be separated again when you come back to the uk, you will still have the net. if you really want ot be together you can try to live in thailand or she can try to live here. don't worry so much about the 'how' just enjoy the time you have and everything will work itself out.

Answer 9

Long Distance relations are very risky. They should not exceed a length more that 6 months I would safely say then you need to hook up or it kind of gets stale. Some have done it longer, but I personaloy want to be nearer.

Answer 10

Distant or no distant has nothing to do with a relationship once you guys are ment for each other. You said she values a relationship very highly like wise u, then, have no fear and go right ahead.

Answer 11

If you two do fall completely in love with eachother something will come up to make it possible for you to stay together. Have some faith in your relationship and a solution will just pop up. Gluck.