The whole point of life is to have your own kids.... not raise somebody else's .......isnt it ?

Question

just saw somebody else's Q and was interested to know the answer to this ......

If you choose to raise children that are not your own that is your choice ...... but the fact that your real purpose was to have kids of your own.....

You all know this .... Women just con men into bringing up a child that is not of their blood.....I dont blame them they are just trying to save guard the future of their child.....

You lot think of children more like objects than I do.....

You dont mind where the child comes from you just want one.....

That sounds like a real good start.....I want that one.

I want that one.....

Answer 1

That is a really sad statement! How do orphans and fostered kids feel about this question? Also what is the point of the lives of people who have no kids?

Answer 2

No the whole point to life is to live.With any luck happily and if you have children whilst thinking you are happy with someone and suddenley find your not....what do you do?I have 2 children and am single but im not looking for anyone to raise my children as i do a damn good job of it myself and need no assistance.Although if i got with someone today my youngest is only 3 and if the person could be a fantastic role model and contribute to my son becoming the wonderful man that he will 1 day what greater gift is that?Blood means nothing in raising a child

Answer 3

Dude, take it from a man whom is much older than you. You don’t need to have kids. It is OK if you raise someone else’s.

I was married to someone that had kids. It was not so great. For some it is. But for me, and other that I know, not having children at all is just perfect. I am 40, and very happy with my choice.

I have been all over the world. I live to travel, and experience things. Having kids is not an experience I have any desire for.

Answer 4

I don't believe it's everyones' purpose in life just to have kids - it's not, if you're talking about adoption, fostering then that can be good because you are helping a child out and loving it as your own etc but it can be hard to raise someone elses child i.e. from a previous relationship, especially of that other parent is still on the scene and telling the kids lies about you etc and also if you're the jealous type. *sigh*

Answer 5

i'll try to take a biological perspective to your question.

you have a point: genetics and natural selection have definitely favored people who have had the most surviving offspring. so people with an instinct to raise many of their own children have been successful.

but, as a side effect, people have also evolved a tendency to want to nurture children in general. think about paternity certainty: not a politically correct topic to be sure, but many men are raising children that AREN'T their own... 10% of fathers in Britain... and they still seem to love and care for their kids.

basically, nature and society have favored people with a general instinct to raise and nurture children over people who don't have that instinct.

so we can wonder why natural selection would favor adoptive parents, it's really that natural selection favored their "instincts" to love and nurture children, even if the children have different genes than the parents.


but when you start to ask questions using phrases like "should we" "shouldn't we" and "the point of," it goes beyond the scope of science. using biology as a way of saying "this is the way things ought to be" is called "biological determinism." mostly it is harmless (i'm prone to it), but it can be used immorally. so some people might take a bit of offense to the question.

Answer 6

I absolutely do NOT want to have children, and I don't hold with it being my 'purpose' to have them, I find the implication that I am merely broodmare for the next generation to be insulting to the extreme.

I prefer to spend time with other people's children, I am an aunt and get on quite well with my nieces and nephews, having cleared beforehand with their parents what is and isn't permitted. I also get on well with friends' children, with the same prior clearance ... and find that they sometimes ask me questions that they don't ask their parents! Awkward ... but I find an answer that satisfies them and is appropriate to their ages, without compromising the parents' parameters.

My sister's child is my godchild, and if anything were to happen to my sister I would rear that child, no problem. I'd rear someone else's kids! I don't feel the biological imperative to breed, but I do think that kids need to learn what's right and wrong, and what's appropriate, and I don't think that biological parents do this - and I see some mothers smoking and drinking and clattering their children over the head and wonder that there isn't some rule for preventing some people from having children when all they're doing is continuing the misery for another generation.

Answer 7

everybody has their own views on this question, my personal one is you do not live your life just to have kids if you do then that's pretty sad, i mean if you cant have children what would you do? there are a lot of abandoned children out there that haven't got anyone and i know if i couldn't have children i would like to raise someone Else's, it doesn't matter where that child comes from all that matters is how much you love them, and like someone else said. what would you do if you fell for someone who already had children. everybody has different views and question is hard to answer,

Answer 8

You may (or may not) choose at some point to have children but that certainly should not be your entire point of life. As to raising someone else's children....why not? There are a lot of children who have no one who wants them. They need a loving family and if a foster family takes them as their own, how lucky is that for them!! And some couples cannot have children of their own so they are delighted to take an unwanted child(ren) as their own.

Answer 9

The whole point to life.... Children are not pottery to call them your own...
Look!! Do you like this lovely boy I made yesterday...
Children are people in the making...
Teaching them principles, watching them grow, watching them learn.... When they come to you and hug you for doing so... That is what makes a parent. The whole procedure of getting a woman pregnant takes a few minutes... Raising these children takes a whole life... If the children think of you as their father then you are their father...
Lets not let pride blind us from seeing the things that really matter...

Answer 10

I think you're referring to my question and I agree with you - having a child is a special experience and Id much prefer to experience it with a partner as a first time experience for us both.
Obviously in todays environment about half the population have kids from previous relationships, but its just something I personally wouldnt feel comfortable with.
Relationships are hard enough work without having the additional problems of bringing someone elses kids into it.
I totally applaud anyone that would get involved in a relationship involving kids - but personally I dont think Id have the strength to cope with it. xx