6 months ago, my internet boyfriend of over a year moved in with me. He is 51 and I am 40.
Since he has been here....we average being "intimate" maybe once every 3 weeks. And, no....I'm not ugly! lol
He says that he finds me very attractive and that I am not doing anything wrong. Yet, we never seem to....you know.
Was I expecting too much in thinking that there would be a "honeymoon phase", at least? My ego is seriously bruised here. I've NEVER .....ever....found myself in this situation.
His "parts" seem to be in perfect working order. He swears he loves me and that I am pretty. But, something isn't adding up. He's also not very affectionate....like lovers tend to tweek each other on the butt, etc.
I know stress can affect things. But, my God.....for these whole six months!?
What do you think?
2007-01-04 19:45:05 · 12 answers · asked by treefrog 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It may just be that it's not his preferred style of communicating love to you (sounds funny that any man would have a problem communicating affection physically, but it does happen). On the flip side, it sounds like you are. That would've probably never come out to this point. Or if you asked him if he was an affectionate person before and he said "yes", he may have been answering according to what he defines affectionate, but not your definition.
And he is 51. He'd have to have a pretty decent libido to be fairly active (multiple times a week). Just cause it all works don't mean it's not in need of a tune up.
Another possibility is that if he acted overtly sexual with you online, you were probably just one of several. He may have some underlying guilt there making it hard for him to be that way now that you two are actually together.
In any event, it sounds like either you two need to communicate about how you two express love, and pronto, if you have any hopes of making this work. Or you just deal with the idea that you may have jumped the gun, and go from there.
2007-01-04 21:08:03 · answer #1 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
54 years old here. Married to same woman for 33 years and still happy. I know that every person, both male and female has a different level of desire and expectancy for frequency of sex. For every 40 year old woman like you that would want it even twice a week or more, there are probably 5 that would consider once a month to be PLENTY, and 5 more that would consider once every 2 months to be PLENTY. Men tend to want it more often, even at 51, but for every one that does there is another one that thinks once a month is PLENTY and probably another one that thinks once every 2 months is plenty. As for goofing around with outward shows of affection like butt pinching, again, EVERYONE is different.
I hope this helps you.
Jon
2007-01-04 19:57:46 · answer #2 · answered by Jon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem. I met someone that's 35, I'm 51. She has a great personality, married to my ex-friend, pretty face. She weighs about 180 down from 300 ish. Had surgerys for tummy tuck, gastric bypass and c-section. The scars kill it for me as does the married status. I like being with her but I just don't want to have sex with her. I don't know why. I talked to my sister about it and we agree that there is no chemistry between us. Yeah, I like her, she's nuts about me, but I just have absolutely no desire to have her. I got some Viagra but I didn't even want to use it. Apparently chemistry is the magic answer.
2007-01-04 19:53:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt if it's you...without knowing you I can't say for sure. Only you can answer that. But He's apparently gone through that sexual crazy phase that younger men go through and is more sexually mature. I guess you're looking for someone who's still raring to go, right? If that's the case, you need to break the news to this guy and move on.
2007-01-04 19:52:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any psychic who solutions it truly is doing the incorrect component--psychic understanding is very nearly equivalent to a strong gut feeling--which potential, there is in all likelihood some accuracy yet NO evidence both way. look on the info: He needs you to marry him yet: A)he's really 18. B)He hasn't even instructed you his very last call. C)He lives in a diverse usa. If by "Going to school" you recommend "Going to school close to you," then by all potential--bypass on a date! yet you does not merely marry someone you looked up contained in the phonebook, might want to you? Date first, do not bounce into something.
2016-12-01 20:45:55 · answer #5 · answered by sobczak 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you guys should of discusses your sexual preferences before moving in with each other.
Let him know that you would like more affection and intimacy.
You might not be right for each other
2007-01-04 19:58:18 · answer #6 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that I'm not in the age range you asked for, but I'm in a somewhat similar situation, just I'm the guy not showing affection. The reason I'm not showing affection is because of my lack of attraction to this girl. Please read my question...
2007-01-04 19:48:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i am 54. my parts don't work as well as when i was 40. you are at your sexual peak. get him a bottle of inducing medication. he may not be confident in his ability to perform or may be overwhelmed by your desires.
2007-01-04 19:49:45 · answer #8 · answered by sinned 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is real sharp to move in with someone you met on the Internet.
2007-01-04 19:48:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you aren't a good match
2007-01-04 19:47:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋