Okay, so I've been dating this girl for about 2 and a half months, and early into our relationship, I moved 6 hours away from where I'm from and into her house, so I could be closer to her. The problem is now I find myself annoyed by almost everything she does. I don't find her attractive physically or emotionally. I know she's not who I want to be with, but moving home is out of the question. I have a great job with a distinct possibility of management, and can't afford to just walk away from it. I can afford to live on my own around here, but it would take me about a month to have the money for a security deposit on an apartment. I don't want to continue leading her on, but I can't tell her exactly what's going on because I'd be sleeping in my car. I know that I'm going to hurt her, and for that I already feel bad, but where do I go from here?
2007-01-04 19:12:41 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have GOT to move out as soon as possible. If you need to, find someone who needs a roommate and share an apt for the time being.
If you continue to stay there, feeling the way you do, you are not being fair to either of you. You are living a lie and just using her, and she will definitely be bitter once she finds out what you did.
I would start looking tomorrow for another place to live. If you share something with someone, it won't cost you as much as living on your own, and then you will be able to save money so you CAN get your own place.
You can start giving her a clue by telling her you are unhappy and maybe it would be better for you to make plans to leave. Think about reversing rolls and how you would feel if someone did that to you. Try to let her down gently and say it's your fault, but things aren't what you expected them to be. You're unhappy and have to figure things out on your own. This way maybe you could still be friendly once you leave and she won't be so bitter about you leaving her.
2007-01-04 19:24:54 · answer #1 · answered by GRNeyzNYC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I hope you learned a lesson of not moving in with someone you BARELY know, but on the other hand you are being honest, all you can really do right now is do everything you can to move out, you may surprisingly find a manager that understand your dilemma and let you move in without a full deposit, and be honest with her, say hey your a great girl and I think I moved on this too fast and for that I am sorry, I wish you all the best though.
2007-01-05 03:18:53 · answer #2 · answered by whattheheck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there were ANY possible way to live with a relative or friend......then you have to come clean with her, right away.
Being in a very similar situation....I want my guy to leave....but, I am willing to work with him to allow him some time to make other living arrangements.
I hope that she is mature enough to realize that sometimes things work....and, sometimes they don't. Tell her that you think she is a wonderful person. But your gut instincts are just telling you that you two aren't "meant to be". Continue on to explain that you will always consider her a close friend and you'd help her anyway you could.
I am making my guy the offer of temporary roommate until he can make other arrangements. I sure hope this helps.
My heart goes out to you....this is a tuff one!
But, honesty is always the best policy.
2007-01-05 03:58:55 · answer #3 · answered by treefrog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being with someone on a more 24/7 basis will open your eyes to the real person and their quirks. I would suggest you wire your parents and ask for some money on a loan basis to get out of her house and into your own apartment. Being a parent myself, I would do that for my kids in a heartbeat. When you do get your own place, don't let her have a key and start dating her again, if that's what you want. Moving in with someone after only dating them for 2.5 months is pretty quick. Next time, wait a bit longer! *smile*
2007-01-05 03:21:02 · answer #4 · answered by notoriousannie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask around at work if anyone has a spare room you can rent temporarily. That way you can get out and be able to save some cash.
2007-01-05 03:17:32 · answer #5 · answered by educ8rkids 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
grow some balls and be real with her and yourself. Move in with a buddy or stay with a friend until you find a place. Besides, you'll be living in peace and won't waste eachother's time.
2007-01-05 03:17:35 · answer #6 · answered by chelow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a weekly hotel room, it is only a little more expensive than an apartment. You should tell her.
2007-01-05 03:52:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm do you have any family friends in the area you could stay with in an pinch if so id ask then talk to her and if she boots ya you have a backup plan she prob already knows if things have changed and you acting different
2007-01-05 03:17:33 · answer #8 · answered by Leveler 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first of all what where you thinking... is to soon what you guys did, and know you saw your mistake.. talk to her, is better sooner then later and explain that you tough you were ready but, you need more time... and fine somewhere else to live before you guys end up hating each other... but, before you talk to her find somewhere to go just in case...=)
2007-01-05 03:20:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you'll hurt her even more if you will not tell it directly to her. you need to be honest to her. don't be unfair. tell her straight. it'll lessen the pain. because if she found out that you're just using her, she'll be in more pain.
2007-01-05 05:07:49 · answer #10 · answered by boom boom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋