I have an issue that I want to address but don’t have a clue how to deal with it. Therefore, I need YOUR help to guide me! I am a 22 year old and my problem is that I am way too nice to people. Number of times people have taken advantage of me but I did not have the power to stand up for myself. Many times it hurts me mentally but because I am afraid that people will think that I am mean, I let them take advantage of me. If I try to stand up for myself, then I become grumpy, angry and harsh on others. However, if I try to be nice to others, I am way too nice to them. In other words, it is either black or white. I don’t know when to be nice and when to raise my voice. Moreover, if I stand up for myself, I pretend to be harsh outside but inside I am literally shaking and constantly thinking of the step that I took on a certain situation. Please try to help me because I am in deep pain and I need your assistance badly.
Thanks
2007-01-04 18:50:21 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
try this bloke...
Dr Bob is a qualified psychologist practicing in Victoria Australia.
here are his details...
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Dr Bob Rich bobrich@mooramoora.org.au
http://bobswriting.com/
http://anxietyanddepression-help.com/
http://mudsmith.net/
Commit random acts of kindness.
Oh and for online counselling he does have a fee but he is worth it...
2007-01-04 19:04:02 · answer #1 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're such a nice guy then every time you say no to someone it probably seems overly harsh to you but in reality it isn't. Do you have a friend who is honest, doesn't get offended easily, one who can politely tell people no? If you do know someone like that ask if they can help you practice telling people no. Use past experiences as a guide. If you don't think you handled a situation appropriately one time in the past, go over it with your friend. Let your friend judge your reaction and listen to what he/she says about changes. Practice it. Then ask a different friend to help you out. Ask him/her about the old and new reaction for what he/she thinks ia appropriate. Continue if you have to. But if everyone you ask says the same thing, then you got it down.
2007-01-04 19:12:51 · answer #2 · answered by Stinging Dragon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all... try to calm down. Everyone has problems. you need to find your middle ground. Here are steps that I use to solve problems that may help you. 1. What is the worst that could happen? - ask yourself this. maybe you will be stepped on the rest of your life and be miserable, or maybe you will be thought of as mean and have no friends the rest of your life... .... 2. Accept the worst that could happen.... Alright so there is a possibily that you COULD be stuck being used and stepped on the rest of your life or there is a possibility you could be mean the rest of your life... accept it. ... Now that you have accepted it you will have nothing to lose and all to gain. no more worries, and you will be able to think clearly and maybe possibly clear you thinking to think about what will best help you in this situation. 3. work to improve on the worst that could happen. So sure you may stay like this the rest of your life but try to make it different. thinking this way maybe will clear your mind? try working towards middle ground it may be difficult. Don't give in totally but maybe be nice and just slowly add things to your tray. say you don't wnat to do something when you don't... start out slow. hope i helped. At least maybe got you thinking a bit?
2007-01-04 19:09:50 · answer #3 · answered by LIZ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the club;)...Seriously, I'm just like you, but I don't see it as a mental problem; it's not our fault if there are many mean people out there who'd take advantager of those whose hearts are open.If you aske me, they are the ones with problems, not us! ou have a good open heart, you're a giver, and the fact that people at times take advantage of you doesn't mean you're stupid since you see what goes on, you're aware of the fact that those people are taking advantage of you; it's just that you probably just wanna give them a second chance 'cause you find it hard to accept that there are actually such mean people who ake advantage of others. Getting angry and harsh is a natural reaction. Never change my friend, stay just as you are, you're a good person and you'll see that there are many people out there just as good as you are. To me people often say 'you can't change the world' and I always answer' yes, you're right, the world can't change me either though;)'. Be as you feel, never mind about mean people, and stop thinking you're sick because you're not!
2007-01-04 19:05:02 · answer #4 · answered by Love_my_Cornish_Knight❤️ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Little Mermaid scared me to loss of life. yet in all seriousness i've got in no way been somewhat disturbed by using a horror action picture. some have been slightly frightening whilst i replaced into youthful, yet i've got in no way been all too scared.
2016-12-12 04:15:44 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont have an answer but you are not alone. take comfort that you are just confused but you will conquer. there is help for you when you are ready. also, people may say you're mean and not realize that you just dont speak the same language. so what. nobody does
2007-01-04 20:37:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋