My boyfriend & I have been together for 2 yrs. I really love him a lot, but we've been fighting a lot lately, and I'm also starting to feel bored with him sometimes.
The problem is that we have hardly any interests in common. Some of my greatest interests include art, music, dancing, and literature, whereas his greatest interests are computer games and TV.
He doesn't bring anything new to the relationship to challenge me, so I feel like we're not growing together at all. If anything, I feel like he holds me back. And so I'm starting to feel bored and trapped by him.
Yet I still love him very much, and we have a great emotional connection that I've discovered is very difficult to find. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions? Have you ever been in a situation like this?
2007-01-04 18:31:13 · 17 answers · asked by cajun m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Actually my situation is pretty much the same.Im interested in arts n books n all the serious stuff,while my bf enjoys the lighter side of life.But we're still together for the last 4 yrs. Its perfectly natural to think we cant get along becoz we dont have any interests in common..but if u look at it another way..its not so bad.We kinda make up for each other the things that lack in us.Its difficult to find the "emotional connection" as u call it...so treasure it.Tomorrow u might find someone with who u can debate on milton or talk bout da vinci,but whats the point if he doesnt understand the simple things that are going on in your head.I suggest,dont leave the guy only for this reason(its a tempting reason,but trust me,its not woth it)...instead go ahead n find some things u both like to do. Dont hold back..have fun.Think of why u got with him in the first place.At the end of the day what matters is only how he makes u feel.are u ready to lose all that because he doesnt know too much bout shakespere!!? think bout it girl....good luck to you!
2007-01-04 19:13:49 · answer #1 · answered by tina 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes women feel that they are getting "bored" when infact the relationship is GROWING.
The first year or 2 you date somone, it's always exciting and new. After a while, things cool down. Then the two of you end up doing all those "boring" things you two were doing as singles. Laundry, grocercies, running errands. You phone each other less. That's just how relationships develop.
But if you want to meet someone new to experience that "high" again that happens at the start of a relationship... then so be it. But even that relationship will become "boring" (or just more developed) after 2 years.
If you two seriously don't have anything in common and there's no substance, then don't waste your time.
2007-01-05 02:43:16 · answer #2 · answered by Mister Bingley 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The attraction/excitement stage is past after 2 yrs and the "comfortable" with each other stage has arrived. That's not necessarily a bad sign. Just normal.
BUT...if he doesn't care enough about you now....to at least sometimes share some your interests it will only get worse.
Sorry. Love sometimes is not enough.
You want your life to be happy + fulfilling, don't you?
Best of luck. You have a big decision to make.
2007-01-05 02:44:56 · answer #3 · answered by Patricia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems that what your boyfriend has what a lot of people have, especially the people that fail university classes - laziness. for a guy, computer games and TV as interests is such a copout, because we ALL like those, but we DO have other interests, but some are just too lazy to actually express ourselves. if you've been together for 2 years, something has got to been going right!! i say challenge HIM. phone his friends, find what he's interested in that he may have not mentioned to you (fave band, something he's passionate about) and get, say, tickets to a concert for a band he likes, or take him to a naval or aircraft of army museum if he's interested in those types of things. if you spark something up, i bet he'll start to brighten up too, and start to "rebound" the stuff back, and becoming more interested in stuff. i'm guessing he is at least a LITTLE interested in art, music and literature, but just can't into it. I for one never was into classical music until i was taken to a philharmonic orchestra. it was soooo beautiful and amazing that now i have a massive collection of classical music. i also listen to heavy metal, so it hasn't changed what i like, just EXPANDED it. GOOD LUCK GIRL!!!!!
2007-01-05 02:38:54 · answer #4 · answered by holyitsacar 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that. You just described my last relationship. I wound up staying for a long time, and after a while I started getting really snippy and mean to him and he didn't deserve it. I just resented him so much.
I think you probably owe it to him to rather than resent him and lead him on, you should tell him how you're feeling and decide what you want to do, stay or not. If I were you I wouldn't stay.
2007-01-05 04:02:06 · answer #5 · answered by Lot's Wife 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i don't want to call it bored but loss of creativity. i encourage you to find some ways to use your differences productively. know him well and determined some areas where you can mixed up your interests. But do it naturally. Things will work if both of you are willing but if not it's better to put an end..
2007-01-05 02:45:55 · answer #6 · answered by prisoner_war 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should start to like what he likes - a bit. He also needs to do the same. Otherwise, you won't have common interests and you will feel alone
2007-01-05 03:22:54 · answer #7 · answered by Steven 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump him. Your not happy. Don't make sacrifices that are pointless. You are number 1 and I'm not telling you to be selfish be honest. It will be better off in the long run. Don't let it build up until you explode
2007-01-05 02:41:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's just filling a gap, an emotional gap, in your life.
"boyfriend".
But He is not up to your level.
Neither are you if you if you stay stagnant out of loneliness.
You're bored with him!
He's not.
Let him be what he is.
Go be who YOU are,
in the company of others who stimulate you and who you stimulate.
You & he are over.
Act on it.
2007-01-05 02:40:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is a bad sign but sometimes you have to be the first person and try to pick things off of the ground and ease off easily so he can follow behind of what you were trying to do
2007-01-05 02:36:32 · answer #10 · answered by cute amber 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋