Boyfriend's dog causing problems with sex life?

Question

My boyfriend has a Min-Pin who is in most respects a sweet dog, but she really interferes with our sex life. If we close the door, she constantly barks and whines. And if we leave the door open, she jumps up on the bed. YUCK!!!

Also, he has always allowed her to sleep on the bed, but I don't like this. The thing is, he's had the dog for 3 years and I don't know if it's too late to ask her to sleep on the floor.

Does anyone else have a problem like this? What do you recommend we do?

Also, I just don't like the way my boyfriend interacts with his dog. He calls her his "daughter."

And when I first brought my cat to his home, he encouraged her to "get the kitty" - basically chase after the cat and intimidate her.

Do I have a right to ask him to find a new home for the dog? The thought of a house with no pets makes me sad but the way my boyfriend interacts with his dog really disturbs me.

To the person who said he was "just kidding" when he told the dog to get the kitty. NO. The dog chased after the cat and frightened her and my boyfriend just thought it was funny and kept doing it.

Also, breaking up with him is not an option. I adore him. I just think the way he interacts with his dog is inappropriate. I don't really want him to get rid of her - he loves the dog - I just want him to treat her as a PET and not a human.

Yeesh. Of course I "voiced my concerns" about my bf encouraging the dog to chase the cat. It took me several times of "voicing my concerns" before he actually stopped. And of course I have no way of knowing if he's doing it when I'm not around.

Answer 1

Your boyfriend will not like it if you ask him to get rid of your dog, instead why not voice your concerns to your boyfriend, and discuss how you feel and find some options for you, your boyfriend, and his dog while you to have sex and about him saying "get the kitty."

Honestly I have a min pin too and she's my baby. She sleeps next to me on my bed and responds to me more than anyone else (my boyfriend and his family), in fact she starting to recognize me as the Alpha (she waits for me to go outside first and waits for me to go up the stairs first and waits for me to walk her when we're out). There is a strong bond between your boyfriend's dog and him.

I had an exboyfriend who hated my dog and I loved her, he felt sick because I let her sleep on my bed and called her my baby and treated her so spoiled (eventually and thank god we broke up). My current boyfriend owns a boxer and he completely understands me and when I ask him "Do you think I humanize my dog?" He says sometimes but she's your baby so it's understandable. So he's not freaked out when I have the dog sleep with us in bed or freaked out when I tell my dog to "get him" because he just laughs and cuddles with her. I feel that I can be with only people who have a dog in their lives or had a dog in their life because they truely understand other dog owners and don't feel awkward when I call my dog my baby, or feed my dog specialized breakfast/dinner, or dress my dog up in sweater to keep her warm in 20 degree weather while we are walking.

Once the dog gets use to sleeping on the bed with the owner, it will be too hard to ask the dog to sleep on the floor. The dog will most likely whine and probably jump on the bed while you two sleep and find a spot.

I know you adore your boyfriend but if you cannot get use to this fact then you might have to break up with him and find someone else because a bond between a dog and a owner is hard to break and you can't really chance the ways of your boyfriend because you simply don't like them (trust me I found that out with my boyfriend myself). You do not have the right to ask him to get a new dog after he's been with the dog for 3 years and simply because you do not like "his ways."

Good Luck.

Answer 2

Being a dog owner, I know that the dog becomes your daughter instantly. I, personally, have a hard time punishing her the way she needs to be, but I do it anyway. If the only problem the dog has is that she likes to sleep in the bedroom, she seems like a pretty well behaved dog and your boyfriend has done a good job raising her.

If it is really important she doesn't sleep in the bedroom, then keep the door closed at all times. Make the bedroom a no dog zone. When she comes towards the door stand up and block it while taking steps towards her. Eventually she will lay down or "submit". You will have to do this continuously as an exercize. The dog will eventually understand this, and after a year (yes... probably a year) or so you can keep the door open without her coming barrelling in.

Don't criticize the way your boyfriend interacts with his dog (probably the same way you interact with your cat!). Personally, my boyfriend refers to our dog as his "daughter" but he is also recognized as the alpha male to a very dominent female dog (a difficult task to achieve). He is teaching her and training her properly AND has the affection for his dog.

Answer 3

Put the dog outside when you are having sex or lock it in a crate or another room. Don't make a big deal about it. And no, you have no right to ask your boyfriend to get rid of his dog. He's had the dog longer than he's had you, I assume and he obviously loves it. You should be happy that you found a man that is sensitive to animals. I've known many men that aren't.

I know a guy that had a dog and when he got married, his wife asked him to get rid of the dog because she didn't like or want animals. He gave the dog to his mother. Well, 4 years later, the man and the woman are divorced and now he wants his dog back. Personally, I don't think he should get the dog back, but that's a whole other subject. My point is. A dog is more than a pet, they are a part of the family and when you get a boyfriend with a pet, you are getting a package deal, much the same as if he had kids. Also, just like kids... the dog will just need time to adjust to you. Probably jealous at first, but will grow to love you if you allow it to.

Answer 4

Okay here's the thing.. hes not going to get rid of the dog he loves her, its normal for people to call their animals their family hes had her for a good while. You shouldn't put him in the position where he has to choose you or the dog that's a bad position to put him in. Maybe you should talk to him. When y'all are about to make love put the dog in another room, not just outside of his room, yeah he may scratch on that door also but at least its not in the room y'all are in and it's less distracting. Maybe try putting some music on so you cant hear the dog scratching, whining, barking, etc. I live with my boyfriend and our cat is just spoiled he scratches to get in our room at all times, when we go to bed if hes not in the room my cat will simply throw a fit until we let him in! sometimes we just ignore it and he eventually stops. Him getting rid of the dog shouldn't even be in the question how would you feel if he asked you to get rid of something you cherished and adored its just wrong. About the get the kitty thing if he is trying to get the dog to hurt the kitty you should put the cat in another room when the dog is around that's the best you can do.
Well i hope that i have helped at least in someway
good luck!

Answer 5

Put the dog in the yard when you have sex. Not much you can do about that. He could work on obedience training her to teach her not to bark. You can try and get her a very nice fluffy dog bed, not sure how well it will work though. He obviously taught her to share the bed with him, this is very normal.

There is nothing wrong with him calling the dog his daughter. Many people do this. It's why Petsmart, etc. call people pet parents. His dog is an important part of his life and is his family. This is not abnormal.

I would imagine he was just kidding about 'get the kitty' if you had a problem with it you should have voiced it then. Why didn't you let him know then and there it upset you?

I do NOT think you have the right to ask him to find the dog a new home, it could be if you do you could be looking for a new boyfriend. It is your attitude towards the dog that disturbs me.

Could it be your just not a dog person? Are you jealous of the dog and trying to see if you can get him to force the dog out for you? I do not think he is going to part with his dog (and shouldnt) because of your insecurities about the dog. Does you cat never sleep in your bed? I DO think that if he for some reason did get rid of the dog he would resent you in the long run.

My husbands Aunt and Uncle refer to their shih tzu's as their kids, their own children are grown. There is nothing wrong with that, my kids call them their cousins.

I often kid around that my dogs are my doggers (daughters) since we have all sons. It's not a big deal. My vet always shows us pictures of her babies when we haven't been in the office for awhile.

Answer 6

Hi I'm not sure if this will work for you but it did for me when you go over to his house and think that you might get lucky then take a big dog bone or treat that will keep the dog ocupied during then when it's time give it to him in the other room and then shut the door. Also I have 2 dog's and the first one me and my bf got togather it was the first dession we maid togather and she is our baby and that's what we call her and think of her as what i'm saying is once you've had an animal for so long they become family so his dog is like family to him and no matter how hard it is when you take someone to love you kind of have to take there family toin most cases but if he loves you then he haves to respect your family to meaning your cat so hang in there if it's meant to be then he'll relize that

Answer 7

lol This is why if I'm ever involved with another woman I'll have to meet her at a dog show. Otherwise she may not be accepting of how I feel about dogs. They will always be adored above her and anyone else in my life. That's just how we dog people are. If he gets rid of that dog for you I would leave him right there because anyone who sells out like that won't be a good person. That's how I see it.

Answer 8

My dog does the same thing. The key is to ignore the dog when you lock them out. Eventually she will quit whining.
As far as the dog sleeping on the bed: ask him if he would rather have the dog sleep on the floor. You could get a cute bed or pillow for her to sleep on so she wouldn't be sleeping directly on the floor. The dog probably won't like it and it will take some conditioning for her to understand that she's not allowed on the bed anymore.
I don't think you can break the bond between your boyfriend and his dog. I don't think you should ask him to get rid of her. Maybe its time to set some new ground rules and boundaries.

Answer 9

No i don't think you have the right to ask him for the dog to get a new home. You both love ur pets and i don't think he would as u to do the same with ur cat.

Talk to him and tell him what bothers u about the dog and if there is anyway u can come to a comprise about this.

Also the dog maybe be taken to obedience school for him not to bark when ur with him.
If it does not work out girl there are many fish in the sea good luck

Answer 10

You have no idea how many people in this world call his/her pet there daughter/son, Hell, I'm guilty of calling my sisters dog my "Nephew", So that really isn't a problem. And as for the whole "get the kitty" thing, He was most likely just kidding. You're very lucky to have someone with a good compassion with animals, I wouldn't ask him to get the dog a new home after having the dog for that long of a time, People get very attached to animals, And after three years of having the dog, Then asking to get rid of it, Wouldn't be a good idea, It may ruin your relationship. Hope I helped a little o.O