Does it get better from here?

Question

I only look for honest answers here. I feel as though I need some help, or at least some encouragement with the way my life is going right now. It would seem great that I moved out on my own, found the love of my life, and have plans to be married. The problem is I'm depressed. My fiancé and I live together, but no matter how hard we try we're always behind. Our bills are overdue, our rents over due, and we have a wedding plan by July! We don’t waste our money, we try hard to save. He has two jobs. And we both make just enough money to support ourselves. I just feel in a rut. I cant even afford to join the gym so I can shape up for our wedding (My weight gain doesn’t help the depression), I'm even in a credit counseling program to help pay off the credit debt I have. Can anybody Please offer some ideas, plans, words of wisdom, any help in any way PLEASE. I'm 21 and I really hope there's more to look forward to in life than all this stress and worry!

Answer 1

There are no guarantees in life: it could get much worse. But think of it like this: you're healthy, you have someone you love, you have food on your table, and you're trying to change. What more can you ask for? Let me add several thoughts: you mentioned nothing about your job. Do you work? That might be a start. Credit card problems? Cut them up. Depression? See a doctor, it's worth the time and money. You can be a billionaire and still suffer from it. The gym? Join it. It will make you feel better, physically and mentally. If I was your fiancé, I would suggest that we scrap the wedding, get married in front of the judge, and use the money to help you get better and fit. Good luck. Life doesn't necessarily get better, but it doesn't necessarily get worse either.

Answer 2

Honestly, you can have a modest wedding in July for like $200-- just serve cupcakes and punch at home, as your reception. That's what my parents did (self-catered an at-home reception) and they have been together 35 years.

You do not have to have a wedding like in a magazine-- that is all just marketing hype. Thousands of couples get married every weeks and not all their weddngs look like the ones in magazines. We are making our wedding centerpieces from things we bought at the Goodwill-- no one will even notice.

Years from now, you can have a more formal Anniversary Banquet and really go all out when you can afford it. So save the glamour and gown and expensive flowers and such for that occasion (however, don't "re-do" the wedding ceremony-- that would be tacky).

Some great books on money managing after serious debt (you can get them cheap at half.com or for free at your library) are:
The Complete Cheapskate by Mary Hunt
How to Survive without a Salary (I don't rememebr autor)
and
Tips for the Young Fabulous and Broke by Suze Orman (her other books are good too).
The Mary Hunt one is by far the best and most direct advice.

There is no need to join a gym to lose weight-- exercise is all around you, and it's free.

Check freecycle.org for a freecycle online group near you and see if you can further cut your cost of living by getting free things from others-- clothes, etc, while also giving away your own unwanted stuff.

If you are feeling very depressed, please look into getting counseling. That's not an area to be overlooking or messing around with.

Answer 3

Money problems are not the end of the world. There are a lot of things you can do to accomplish what you need. Rather than join a gym, why not lose weight by doing some running or free aerobics at home.

Prioritize your bills and focus on your goal of getting married. Do not put so much emphasis into being behind but rather look for ways to maintain your current situation and live cheaper. Always look for deals and ways to cut costs.

There is a good site to check out for some ideas and is updated often.
http://dealwithdebt.blogspot.com

Answer 4

You just simply need to get better paying jobs. I had to do the two job thing and that really sucked the big one. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do to make money. When I found out my wife was pregnant for the first time and she wasn't going to be able to work...I was going to **** myself. I got into the trucking industry..It was fairly cheap and the school was only 4 months. And there is always plenty of work. That pretty much supports my wife 2 kids and a mortgage. She don't even have to work. Start looking into a career change for either yourself or your fiance. You are right it is no way to live. Unfortunately in this day in age the only thing we did wrong was being born at the wrong time.

Answer 5

First, it sounds like you need to have a bit more fun in your life. Honestly, all work and no play really DOES make Johnny a dull boy, and a very sad one! It's great that you guys are trying to save your money and get out of debt, but see if you can squeeze in a cheap date every once in a while, like going to the movies. Even if it's just once a month. Or try going to a friend's house one night for drinks, video games, board games, watch movies, anything. You need to get out and enjoy life. You're young! You need to be able to go out and have a good time.

As for getting in shape, try going for walks with your fiance, or on your own to clear your head. A walk in the park can be a nice way to go dutch, and it burn calories! The problem with the weight gain is that depression and stress cause weight gain because you tend to lose motivation and become less active, and then the weight gain makes you more depressed, and it snowballs. It's really hard to lose weight on your own, but without the money for a gym membership or a weightloss program, you'll have to rely on yourself and your friends and family for support, motivation, etc.

It's good that you're going to a financial counselor and getting out of debt. Honestly, once you've got your bills paid off and you're out of debt, everything gets easier. Financial stress is such a big problem, and it affects every area of your life. The solution is to stick with what your financial counselor tells you. My own personal strategy for saving is to save my change! Every time I get change, rather than spending it back out of my wallet, I save it in a jar in my room. It really adds up over a couple weeks! I literally make $50 and $60 deposits every month or so. That's enough to pay at least one bill, maybe two depending.

Good luck darlin'. I promise you'll start feeling better soon. It'll just take some time and effort to get there.

Answer 6

Money is the root of most problems in marriage. You should both get into the credit counseling. If only one of you makes the necessary changes in spending then you will both fail. The only way to avoid financial problems is to spend less than you make. Real rocket science huh?. Get help making a budget and stick with it even if you must postpone the wedding.

Answer 7

hi there ....you relly do seem to be down you say that you are in a credit counselling programme then get back to them and get some more advice about gathering all out standing bills and get a setteled amount that you have to pay back each month ......and you will get there and it will one day be all sorted out .....an i know thats what you are not wanting to here ....the one day bit ......but every day you are one day closer to it ......as for youre wedding ....well ive been to soom really posh wedding and then ive been to the weddings that have been done on a shoe string and do you want to know the ones that are done for less money are always the more fun .....and im not lying to you ........you do not need to spend buckets of cash for a wedding day its you and youre partners day and its what you want it to be ......and as for the gym.....its the most boring place to work out ......i know i work in one of these places ........i prefer to be outside and walking running ......ever thought of looking through the cupboards and finding a couple of tins and started weights that way .....you do not need to go to a gym to start getting slim for youre wedding day .......and anyway that place is just a fashion show of lyrca ......and half the time they are looking at each other and going oh look at that colour of shorts .......ondt get me wronmg i love my job .......get out with the ipod ....mp3 player or what ever you use .....and get motivatied and the more you start to move the more you will start to believe that you can start to lose some weight youre mood will lift and all youre happy endorphines will make you feel great .........good luck and take xcare xx

Answer 8

u unfortunately are a victim of ecomics along w ur to be husband its rough i know money is tight i also am the mom of the same sit and i see my children losing hope dont thats what everyone wants misery loves company ull do just fine u are and ur spouse are doing everything right god bless hope both of u the best remember its this ecomics gas for car for jobs food rent etc dont quit

Answer 9

oh boy. Only buy what you need and what you have money for.
Hon...a gym is a splurge.
Stop eating out.
Shop sales
Get rid of expensive isp and or TV
Never use a credit card.

Answer 10

70% if people are living paycheck to paycheck. being on your own is hard but it will get better. you are just staring out