I am asking this b/c I am trying to sort out true feeling that I have for my ex. Sometimes I feel like I want to be with him, then I don't, what makes me want to be with him is that he is really good with my son, he is a very nice person and will do anything for me, he has a really good job so he has stability but on the other hand he is very insecure and very sensitive I cannot give him a honest answer w/o him getting bent out of shape about it, I sometimes wonder what his insecurities with me will lead to, maybe posessiveness or something, I care about him and I told wanted to be with but am I just settling? I dont want to look back and regret it any choice that I make. I feel like I will never meet someone with the things he has to offer. This is the first man that I have dated that has had their **** together so my feelings are all over the place. Im almost thirty and winding up alone scares the hell out of me!
2007-01-04 17:33:51 · 8 answers · asked by *sexy mocha* 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You won't wind up alone if you have something to offer. 30 is not old. Being alone isn't horrible and we should all be alone for short periods to re-evaluate our situation and find out who we are and what we really want in life. I divorced at 33, still not married at 39 but I know "the one" is out there. I have my opportunities but hold out for the right guy because I refuse to settle. If you truly feel you love this man then accept his insecurities and realize that sometimes you have to say things in a really sensitive way. Eventually he'll realize you wouldn't hurt him and overcome his problems.. It's worth trying since you do have a child together. If we all hold out for something better and don't accept people and their faults we all will end up alone because we all have faults.
2007-01-04 17:41:37 · answer #1 · answered by uknowme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting hooked up with one man, does not mean you can't go back to the other if it does not work out.
But, on the other hand, holding out for the more perfect opportunity is not always the greatest idea. It sounds as if you want an awful lot from one relationship. There are always trade offs.
The one you settle for may well end up being the best, but you will never know that for sure because you had to pick one.
That is part of learning what it means to live in our world. Life is short and then you realize how great it was all the time you were living it.
It is like the guy that jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and lived, he said afterwords that he realized, just as he jumped, that he had only made on mistake in his life, and that mistake was jumping off the bridge.
Life has a multitude of limitations, and the way you get around that phenomena is to live whole heatedly all the time, no matter what is happening or who you are with.
Have faith and know that it will all work out for all of us, but you have to live with open eyes, a full heart and faith.
2007-01-05 01:48:41 · answer #2 · answered by zclifton2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are really correct in not settling for this man. Your right, do you want to live with his insecurity and sensitiveness? And then there is the question of what ultimately these insecurities may lead to. If you are really sure he is the one, then I would suggest couples therapy, but otherwise my gut feeling is run don't walk--men are like taxi's, another one will be along soon.
2007-01-05 01:41:18 · answer #3 · answered by Terry Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't look back. He may be a good man but he may not be YOUR good man. Your son will grow up an d go on with his own life. Let your X be a good father to him but it's obvious you don't love him, you love his qualities. Make a list of what you like about him and keep it as a checklist for the right one. It isn't fair to be with someone you cant give your all to or they to you. Value yourself and have faith the right one will come along. WHEN THERE IS DOUBT..STAY OUT..
2007-01-05 01:41:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are scared of loosing him not because you love him but because he is responsible and may be you think you will not be able to cope financially. If a man is a asshole don't try to justify it let him go. You are not alone you have your son what more could you ask for. After my separation my daughter was the reason for me to move on and so is your son.
Let your son be your inspiration
2007-01-05 02:50:14 · answer #5 · answered by auntsid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have always been hopefull that i will. i know that there is someone in the world that is exactly like me and has the same feelings as me. i've been alone almost my whole life(not really long, only 13 years), and that whole time i've been asking God for someone just for me. Until now, no one has come, and that is a message to me that there is someone out there that I have to find by myself. same thing for you. if you think that person is the one that is the right one for you, then he is.
2007-01-05 01:39:14 · answer #6 · answered by John 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ugh i know the feeling all too well. just make sure its a permanant happy. although no relationship is perfect, too many sacrifices is no good. ask your friends how you acted when you were with him, as opposed to when you werent. my mom always tells me when im in a better outlook so i knew it wasnt working with my one ex, and she was right
2007-01-05 01:37:12 · answer #7 · answered by hallie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're scared to be alone thats your prob your x is a jerk and so are you
2007-01-05 01:36:55 · answer #8 · answered by ♥bambii_xoxo♥ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋