I'm at a new school since 9 months and I don;t like my new friends a lot. Help?

Question

I'm at a new school since 9 months and I don;t like my new friends a lot. Help?
I moved to a new city 9 months back. I really liked my frnds back in my old city.
.I made quite a few friends here, but i still feel something's missing. I feel lonely at times. I thought I'd get over it within 6 months or so, but i still feel the same loneliness at times. I can't make new and better friends because everyone here is like that. We don;t share much in common.
What should i do? One moment I feel fine and the next moment I feel depressed and feel like crying. My friends like me, but sometimes they leave me out of things. They've all been in the same class since the past 6 yrs.
I was at my old school for 9years.

Answer 1

Well you have only been in the new town only 9 months now, and you had been in the old school you went to for 9 years, so you really can not think that you are going to have the same kind of friendship in that short of a time, like you did back in your old home town. The kids in your old home town you grew up with, so sure you would really like the kids there, and feel lonely for them, and the friendship that you had there. You need to give these new friends of yours a chance. They have not known you that long, and you have not known them that long. You may not share a lot in common, later on you may. Who knows that is the future. I don't think they really think that you feel left out of things, cause as you said you don't have that much in common. And if they think you think that way then they are not going to invite you to everything. Plus as you said they have all been in the same class for the past 6 years. There are a lot of people that move that don't even make friends as quietly as you have. It is normal to feel that something is missing when you have been living and going to school with the same kids for 9 years then have to move to a strange place. Of coarse every place is different and so are the kids that live there. Your going to feel lonely , cause you miss your old friends, and that will always be. You are not going to forget your old friends. But someday when you go back there when you are older you may find that you don't have anything in common with them anymore, that the friends you made in the new town you have gotten use to and you will find that you will miss them and want to go back. This is just part of life. Personally i enjoyed moving to a different city and state, I got alone better with the kids in the new place then the old place. I still did not have a lot of friends, but the friends i made in the new place i have had every since. Even though we have all gone our own way, we keep in touch and call each other. So it can work either way. You are just going to have to wait and see how this is going to work out. So why don't you give it a chance and just wait and see what happens. It may just work out to be ok. Just give it some time, cause time will tell. God Bless and take care, and i hope that you don't feel the loneliness and depression that you are feeling now, i wish you a better new year. Good luck to you .

Answer 2

If it's any consulation, I know EXACTLY how you feel....moved around a lot as a kid. what you are feeling, although kind of sucky, is quite normal. All I can really say is that it takes time. You have to not only adjust to the new environment and friends, but you also have to mourn your old friends. I know it sounds weird that I say mourn when they didn't die, but even if you still keep in touch with them, you have lost them in a way and you have to mourn that loss. It's tough being the "outsider" when all your friends have known each other for years and your the new kid. You have to just allow time to adjust, but if you are still feeling left out, perhaps you should try talking to your friends. Tell them how you feel, but try not to blame them or sound like its their fault (people get upset and defensive when they feel blamed or attacked).

I moved to where I live now when I was in 8th grade. My first day of school I came home and cried because I had no friends and ended up eating lunch in a stall in the bathroom because no one would let me sit with them. That first year was really hard for me (and I've done the whole new-kid thing before...lots). I've lived here for 8 years now, and I have some of the same friends from my first year. So I guarantee that it gets better. But do you want to know a little secret? every once and a while I feel like I did those first couple months I lived here; I feel like the new kid outsider again just tagging along with a group of people who have been friends since kindergarden. It took me a long time to feel totally excepted, and as much as I do, every once and a while those feelings of being an outsider creep up. But all I do is think of the friends I have, all the good times we've shared, and although I miss the old place I used to live and the old life I had, I am still glad I moved. Just think of all the opportunities, friends, boyfriends, etc that make me who I am that I would have never had if I hadn't moved and adjusted.

I know hearing "give it some time" is not exactly what you want to hear, but I promise you adjust, it does get better.

Answer 3

I have moved alot and know the feeling. It wont take long at all before you will find your self as part of a group or have certain Friends that share your interests. This can take up to a couple years. There will however always be nothing like going back to your old town. look at it this way theres all new Chic's or guys!!!!!!!!! and your the new guy or girl!!! What you are experiencing now will actually help you in the long run when you may start a new job or just find yourself in situations where your the minority in any group/the outsider. Even though now you may not feel more out going it will shape you up in the long run. Hey just look at this as practice in meeting new girls or guys.

Answer 4

Honey you are going to miss your friends from your old school. It is part of a grieving process that you are going through.

You were used to your old school and all of a sudden you are uprooted and the new kid at school.

I know that you probably feel somewhat uncomfortable with these new friends because you don't know them like you did the ones that you grew up with.

I am so sorry that you are feeling badly but I understand it.

My parents told my sister and I that we were going to move to another city when we were in high school and junior high and we both cried for days. Needless to say we didn't move.

Try and give your new friends a shot it couldn't hurt just to give them a chance to be your friend. Who knows you may find a friend that will be your best friend for life. Give it a try honey. Eventually the pain will go away. Good Luck

Answer 5

This is your body's way of adjusting to the environment you are now exposed to.

It takes time for things to settle within you and for you to acknowledge a new "comfort zone" of new friends.

You can think of this a sort of testing the waters with two feet.

I am sure you will be able to adjust very well once you find a way to get your voice heard.

Answer 6

Sometimes, I also feel the same as you. Sometimes I feel fine, then the next second, I feel depressed. When I am not all "right", I will dislike to see anyone. In worst case, I would not like to see my friends.

I envy those who can make a lot of friends. They enjoy their lives.

I think it is due to personal problems. We can't change the world unless we change ourselves. After we change ourselves, we will find the world has changed. However, the world is still the same world, it is we who had managed to change our inner feelings.

I am in the process of changing myself. Though the process is painful, but I hope can do it cause I know it will bring happiness to me.

My advice to you is change yourself. Be generous, honest,optimistic, happy, whatever good values it is.

Wish you happy in your life.

Answer 7

to tell you the truth, even animals face these sort of situations when they move to new places. you're human! this is natural.
when you left your old place, in which you lived in for 9 years, you're bound to miss it a lot. you'll definitely miss your friends, who you spent practically your whole life with. there are several ways to get over it, since you're facing problems getting closer to your friends in your current living environment.

(a) lessen the calls to your other friends
when you constantly keep in touch with your older mates, you're definitely gonna be neglecting your efforts towards getting closer to your 'current' friends. so, try to lessen the calls and contacts with them, and try having group activities and so on with your current friends, so that the bond between you all can form.

(b) blend in
since you said that your friends are not telling you everything and they happen to be keeping you away from certain conversations, you should understand, that they are only doing so becauseyou happen to not 'fit in' . don't take me wrongly, but i think they haven't thought of you as their kind. so, try blending in and try liking the things that they do and slowly become one of their kind. maybe then, they'll share everything and anything with you.

(c) dont give a thought
if they can shun you off when it comes to certain things, they shouldn't deserve to be your friends. just ditch them and get new pals. making new friends isn't that tough after all.

that's it! hope i helped with your query.
all the best! i hope everything works out just fine for you.

Answer 8

You are just homesick, maybe your new friends sense the tension you have and think that you really are not to fond of being around them and therefore leave you out.

Try your best to have fun with them, and keep contact with your old friends because after all they are still your friends even if you don't see them anymore.

Answer 9

Give yourself TIME to adjust in new environment...it's quite natural