Whenever i am with my girlfriend, all i think about it sex...... whenever all i want to do is talk.... somehow the "sexual urge" takes control and something ends up happening... and i feel bad afterwords....
However, we do not have sex, but we do everything else, we are saving it until marriage. I am also afraid i might go to far and i will get carried away and we might have sex when we really dont want too. I am very aggressive and dominating whenever i feel the "urge". I love her and dont want anything to happen between us.
Does anybody have tips on controling sexual urges?
2007-01-04 16:41:55 · 20 answers · asked by vangelofsorrowii 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to sit alone and think about whats important to you and what you want out of life.You have a great girl and you don't want to ruin that.See someone (therapist),yeah I know It's only to help you with tools to slow down a little bit.But I can tell you don't be alone in a bedroom or whole house where you can go crazy on her.But I got to tell you if you love her can't you respect her wishes and not be so harsh,she loves you so respect that she made a choice to wait until that tie the knot moment.Shes saying she wants you to be her first and only,what a gift!
2007-01-04 16:52:42 · answer #1 · answered by pookie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are doing a very good job already. Most healthy young men have the same problem, but they don't have the conscience that you seem to have - congratulations.
When you are in a situation of mutual attraction, it is virtually impossible to reduce the urge, so the only thing left is to either let it take you over, or find alternate activities. Seems like you have done some of that. Since you are planning on marriage someday, I would suggest making a game out of it. Each of you come up with new ways to have fun together without having prolonged physical contact.
1) Try couples dating. You're not going to have intercourse in front of another couple.
2) Plan activities with each other's family. Maybe there are elderly members of the family that would benefit from a visit now and then. Or, occasionally involve younger children - nieces, nephews, brothers or sisters - in going to a movie, having a movie night at the house, coloring with them (amazing how they love to have people color in their coloring books with them), etc.
3) Sports! Are there any team or individual sports that you both like to do? Everyone can play miniature golf, for instance. Or, take up a sport that neither of you have tried before. Even kicking around a soccer ball at the park can be a possibility. Or, invite other couples to a soccer match - mix up the teams and see who can score first.
In other words, be creative. But, get your focus off of the physical aspect of the relationship. That obviously seems to be going very well, so develop other aspects of the relationship while you are preparing for marriage and your first, special night together.
Oh, yeah.....and, don't forget cold showers (not together, by the way).
2007-01-05 00:56:38 · answer #2 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are really intent on controlling the urge, then you have to stop having physical contact with your girlfriend, or set extremely definite boundaries. For example, you might have to say that kissing is okay, but you have to be standing up, and all clothing must be on at all times. Sexual urges are really natural, so one thing will ALWAYS lead to another. If you think there is any chance you will be unable to control your urges, have birth control ready at all times. This is very important.
2007-01-05 00:46:58 · answer #3 · answered by - 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um ok... sounds like you have a problem.
the first thing to do is to tell yourself that sex isnt as great as it potentially can be unless both you and your partner are into it. why would you want to have sex when your partner doesnt want to? its called self control and you need to practice it.
2nd: tell your partner about your problem. its better that she knew and understand than if she goes through the relationship thinking your some kinda quagmire-esque weirdo.
3rd. maybe you should watch some porn/masturbate so that you dont want to have sex as often. the reason people do masturbate is so that they can get the sexual urge off their backs easily and get on with life.
2007-01-05 00:46:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
About the only thing that I can suggest to you, is that you take care of the "urge" before it happens....When you have arranged to see your girl for the evening, masterbate beforehand to relieve the sexual pressure. That way, you will be able to concentrate on talking, and not have to worry about other things.
Are you sure your girl isn't enjoying those sexual releases as well?
2007-01-05 00:47:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anastasia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm try thinking of something silly when you're having an urge! Like distract your mind from thoughts about sex..
example think of your ugly neighbour lol
2007-01-05 00:44:46 · answer #6 · answered by dancingcorpse 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are really worried that you won't be able to control yourself, then don't place yourself in that situation, make sure you are not alone with her. That's the only surefire way, especially if you are aggressive and dominating.
2007-01-05 00:46:07 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well masturbation definately releases the sexual tension. If you are doing "everything else" isn't that having sex? I mean if it has sex (oral sex) in it, or involves any stimulation of the sexual organs, isn't it sex?
2007-01-05 00:45:42 · answer #8 · answered by gravytrain036 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry dude, wish I could help on this one. I LOVE that sexual urge...I hardly ever deny it.
Maybe you could choke it before being with/around your girlfriend and that'll get it out of your system for a little while? (Though that plan could seriously backfire and you could end up being hornier than ever....but like I said...what do I know??)
2007-01-05 00:48:09 · answer #9 · answered by Miz D 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should not tempt yourselves. no more than a 20 sec kiss I would suggest. Try to go places in public and do not spend the night together. and just have pacience and will power
2007-01-05 00:46:50 · answer #10 · answered by sngozig 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋