I'm 30. My college ex says (age 29) he's trying to figure out how he feels about me and wants to have sex to find his answer. I told him that since a dear relative died this summer I realize that the only chance to see that relative again is to go to heaven when I die. We don't talk much anymore. No biggie.
A different guy that I dated this summer (age 23) is visiting town and I'm really looking forward to seeing him but don't want to have sex for the same reason. He knows my preference and is coming anyway. Techniques to resist the urge after a 6 month dry spell would be really helpful since I don't want to avoid hanging out with him.
I'm not worried about the impact of not sleeping with him because I feel that if he really cares, he'll try to respect my decision even though I'm sure he'll attempt to get me to change my mind.
2007-01-04 16:24:00 · 6 answers · asked by Charming Taurus 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
need techniques to resist the urge...you know other than the dreadful cold shower.
2007-01-04 16:31:30 · update #1
Hang out with him in public. Its best to avoid dark secret places where it is easier to give in to temptation. Also, be assertive with him. Tell him upfront (like you already have) once ya'll get together face to face that sex is not happening and tell him that if he asks more than twice then he will be made to leave. This will get him to respect your decision and not pressure you. Also, if you have a friend you can trust, you can ask them to call you periodically to hold you accountable. Its not a good idea to be out late with him or have him over late but if you do (which you shouldn't!) then your friend(s) can call and remind you of your vow and keep you from falling.
Also, I think its great that you are abstaining from sex and all but as far as using as a reason to get into heaven, its not enough. I'm not sure what you believe but I am a Christian and the only thing that can get you to heaven is accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, accepting that He died on the cross and rose again just for your sins. I'm also glad you figured out your college ex was a waste. Anywho, I hope all goes well. Good luck, toodleloo!
2007-01-04 16:51:24 · answer #1 · answered by babygemini261 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do not subject you will locate her. it will only take some artwork. look for asexual communities on your section. I thoroughly understand as an asexual vegan lady myself. i could opt for the comparable element for myself. intercourse only seems so primal and a loss of self administration. To me friendship is the main useful love. eager to do some thing for somebody without not something in return. For me nonasexual human beings's theory of affection is a hoax. They declare its love yet that's not a genuine. that is like a game. If I do this she'll do this. And the staggering objective is intercourse. Lust not love is the making use of tension and as quickly as the lust ends you have not something.
2016-12-15 10:37:20 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your decision for staying celibate is alot more important then some guys thought of you. Just stay in public places and don't go anywhere by yourself with him. If those two do not work do not shave your armpits or legs and wear super ugly non matching bra and underwear and pretend your on your period. Drastic but you will not want to take you clothes off for anything.
2007-01-04 16:30:33 · answer #3 · answered by fyrechick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So what was the point in posting the question when you already know the answer?
2007-01-04 16:27:52 · answer #4 · answered by Duckie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't forget, of the two, your the oldest, he's 23.
2007-01-04 16:33:05 · answer #5 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
huh?????????????????????
2007-01-04 16:26:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋