A serious question about a situation involving abuse and molestation?

Question

Please don't judge. Messed up things like this can happen to anybody.
But I recently (finally) told my mother that my drunk abusive father molested me when I was 16 (now I'm 18). She was mad at me for not saying anything when it happened (but I was scared so cut me some slack, who wants to admit thier own father did this?). But that's it. She hasn't done anything about it. We're still living with my father....she knows I hate him. When I try to talk to her about it, like if she's going to press charges ect. she acts like she doesn't know what I'm talking about.
...WHAT SHOULD I DO??
And if you're going to tell me to go to the police will they actually listen to me since I'm just a teenager? And what do I say to them? I also have a little sister that I'm so worried about...I don't want her tossed in foster care.

I really want to move in with a relative of mine becuase i don't want to live here anymore...but i know if i do my mother will hate me........and i'm such a chicken..

For the people telling me to not do anything about this I think you are sick and probably a child molester yourself.

if you've ever been molested or violated in a way that was not ok, then i'm sure you'd understand that it is NOT something that can be "swept under a rug".

Answer 1

You need to ask you sister in private if you father is molesting her, she needs to tell the truth. If the two of you were abused and you both come forward, then you need to call the police, then call your nearest relative like an aunt or uncle to come to the rescue. You can also look in your phone book usually in the front pages they have phone numbers for help, kind of like a help hot line. Remember, who ever questions you about your father, you need to tell them everything in detail. They will listen to you, you are an adult now, plus that's their job is to help people. Do not be afraid, this was not your fault.

With all the evidence that you or your sister have, you could have a case in the courts to have him arrested. Don't wait too long to do this.

Your mom didn't do anything because she is in denial, she would rather keep the marriage going, then protect her daughters from a molester-monster! I am surprise that she let this happen. Get yourself out and move with your relative, take you sister along too. You should be angry with your mom, because she didn't do anything about it!

So don't wait any longer, go and call the police! 911.

Answer 2

First of all you are not to blame for anything. You were a child and in some ways, still are just a child. Your mother should be ashamed of herself. Either she doesn't believe you or she is worried about her own security rather than what the right thing is to do. You are considered an adult now. You need to go to the prosecutors office and file charges against your father. There is always a chance nothing will be done about it, but it might make your father think twice about molesting your younger sister. You need to dig deep and find the strength to do whatever it takes to protect her, because if she ends up being molested by your father because you didn't do anything, you may never be able to forgive yourself. I hope the relatives you want to move in with believe you and would support you while you go through it all. But don't try to forget about it and not help your sister. You have a heavy responsibility and you must help her. There are also many advocate groups out there to help you. Ask the prosecutors office for names of people who can help you. Good luck!

Answer 3

You don't have to feel bad about not telling your mother sooner! That is very hard to do and takes a lot of courage. I'm impressed that you were able to do it even now. If you have the option, then I think you should mmove in with a relative. Your mother might act like she hates you, but I think it's herself that she hates because she is not taking care of you the way that a mother should and because she married a man that has done some awful things. Those are her problems and her hatred is a reflection of her, not you. What if he starts molesting your sister? Do you think she would be better off in a home where she gets molested or in a foster home? Now that you're 18, what are you planning to do? Have you thought about college or what kind of work you want to do? Be brave and look for people that can help you out. Friends, relatives, a teacher that you like... find some people that can help you stand up to your parents and get out.

Answer 4

Do not be a chicken dear Heart,

Perhaps you could ask someone at the social services or a councellor for advise. Someone of authority. Your mother is in denial. This happens in the best of families. She probably hurt inside as much as you do. How could she hate you if this has been brought to her attention and chose to ignore the fact. Don't you have another relative you can talk to about it confidentially? You are absolutely right to want to protect your little sister. You just go to the authorities and tell them thruthfully about what's going on. This happens to a lot of teenagers. They will not judge you. And they will find the proper person to help you.
If that relative of yours will have you live with her, this might be a solution for now and she might be the person who could evaluate the situation being part of the family.

Good luck and don't be scared to tell the truth!

Answer 5

I am a victim also from age's of 7-11, Till my sister finally spoke up for all of us that it happened too, nobody should be judging you for not telling it is never an easy thing to do but it is important so justice can be done and so you can make sure other children in the future will not be harmed by him,It is not to late to report this to the police and if your mom can not stand behind you and support you than she is just as bad , she can get in trouble herself by the law for knowing and not reporting it,I wish you much luck , be brave and stand up for what you know is right

Answer 6

First of all, yes the police will believe you. They (police) take matters such as this very seriously.
Secondly, absolutly move out! I doubt that your mother will think less of you for doing so. Infact I think your mother should leave your dad/her husband!

I don't blame you for not saying anything right away. You have to give yourself a lot of credit for having so much courage as to speak up at ALL.
Your mom sounds like she is in denial. Go to authorities or a counselor and explain what happened. You can't let this go.

I am sorry for what you went through....I have been through something similar so I know your pain. Good luck to you and be well.

Answer 7

your caught in a real mess if you wanted to go to the police they would listen but things could get worse what you need to do is not move out your little sister need you to be there for her as for your no good father and sweep the problem away under a rug mother you now need to take charge of your own life your not a chicken your just afraid of things getting worse than they are but you need to talk to someone maybe a counsler at womens crises center but dont abandon your sister your all she has

Answer 8

I'm sorry to hear that.
Yes, even though your a teenager the police will listen. Then the next thing you should do is go to your Social Service's Dept. And tell a Social worker about it and how you feel about your little situation. Plus you have to let them know that you've finally told your mom about it and that she doesn't seem to do anything about it.
I hope that will help. Good luck!

Answer 9

Youre 18 so you are considered an adult. Tell the police..they need to know so you can get this all worked out. Youre obviously torn up about this so you need to tell someone that can take action. Your sister wont go into foster care if you have grandparents or other family members around.

Answer 10

you're not a chicken i understand what you are going through but it wasn't my father or step father it was a family friend and you need to ask your mother what she is going to do about it and then let her know that if she doesn't you will move out and take your little sister because you don't want him to do the same thing to her that he did to you make her think that you are serious even if you aren't that way she will be more willing to do something about it