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I'm in love with this guy online.I been talking to him for 11 months now.almost a year.He's from another country.he can't come to see me because he's having trouble getting a visa. He wants me
to go there to see him.I'm very much in love with this man, very muchand please don't anyone say that I am not, that is wrong it is only up to me to proclaim and label what I am feeling.It's my life,and my body and my mind.therefore I am only to say if I love or I do not love. Anyway,he says that he wants to have a baby with me.Because his dream is to be a father, he loves me so much,and he believes that this baby would be something really special.The thing isI'm a little thrown off with that. He's rushed to do this with me,and I didn't even meet him yet.I want that, yes but I want to take time. I want to know him in real life before I do that.
I don't even care if I have to go see him. I will,I love him very deeply.It's just very intense for me,but I dont know what to do
Give me help pleas
2007-01-04 15:57:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Beware of the person that wants to marry you and have a child and never see you or talked to you in person.
This person is wanting other things besides.
Be Very Careful
2007-01-04 16:01:47 · answer #1 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You talk a lot about how much you love him. But I don't see or overlooked anywhere you say he loves you. Has he ever said so?
When guys are talking with a girl they really like and knows the feeling is mutual the one thing that is at the top of their mind is having sex with her.
Now he may be the kind of guy that must give you a good reason why you should do that. A baby. But you don't say anything about marriage. What about that?
If you go see him and in love as much as you say there is little doubt you will be in bed with him. BEWARE! Especially if you have never met him. Sex may be the only reason he wants to get with you and when you come back home that may be it.
Stick to you guns and insist that you get to know each other much better before sex inters the picture. You will never regret doing that but you may regret the other.
And always remember. There are people in this world that will do anything to get into the United States. And marrying you...becoming a citizen....and dumping you can very well happen. Take Care....
2007-01-05 00:09:25 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your question will probably be answered the moment you meet him. You will most likely not want to have a baby with him. You will probably want to be on your next plane home. Please do not be naive. The internet has been around for years now, and yet so many people still think they can have a lasting relationship with someone they know online who they have not met in person. I know several people who felt the same way you do about people they developed relationships with online. One coworker in particular flew to another city to meet her online soul mate, and both of them knew from the first moment in the airport that it was a mistake, but they had to spend the whole weekend together. Your situation could be a whole lot worse and a whole lot more expensive if it is another country.
I do not doubt that you are in love. But please - do not put too much emotion into this prematurely. Your connection with him is very real, but it is not whole. The physical connection is an extremely important element, and you have not experienced that with him yet. Bring him back to reality a little. Remind him that a baby is a bit unrealistic given the nature of your relationship. Buy him a calendar with pictures of babies or something. That way they stay cute and special-looking, but never grow up to be brats. It is sweet that you such a romantic, but the baby idea is just stupid (sorry to be blunt).
2007-01-05 00:16:52 · answer #3 · answered by - 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what country is he from? RU sure he is who he claims to be?
I wouldn't let you go visit - no way.....
You can file for a fiance-visa here in the USA and he can come visit you on that visa.... couple of reasons why you should go this route - first and most important - you'll know the truth about the guy if the visa is granted - which it will if this guy is normal... second - why can't he get a visa? maybe because of the country he is from? anyway - be safe and let our country protect you by doing what sooooo many guys do by applying for fiance-visa - you'll be safe and not to worry if the guy turns out to be not the one you don't have to marry him - he can stay for I think 3 months before he must return to his country - if you decide he is the one he can come back or stay if you're willing to marry him...
Now, please consider this option - since the whole reason he can't come sounds very suspect.....
Do an internet search on women slaves and you'll see all kinds are stories that sound similar to yours.... I'm just saying....
2007-01-05 00:11:23 · answer #4 · answered by D. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
BIG RED FLAGS!!!! I have ran across these types of guys....but wanting you to have his baby, is a first...Girl...he has trouble getting a visa for a reason...I do not know what that is, but there is a reason...
Some of these guys just want either your money or just to be able to gain entrance to come to the US...and having a baby...will be a way to tie you to him....
You are in love with an idea and picture this guy is creating for you..............You cannot love someone that you have never ment..especailly on line....Anyone can say anything, but that does not make it true...
Please do not even consider this guy any further...I am very concerned for you.....
2007-01-05 00:07:01 · answer #5 · answered by Mechelle C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
what if you get where you are going and you find out that this man is not who he says he is.
What if he tells the truth but his PERCEPTION of who he is is different from yours.
DO you know anything about him other than what he has told you?
Again not calling him a liar but it could be that he has omitted a few things that arent so flattering about his life. Has he finished school?
What if any type of work does he do?
Does he have a police (or equivalent in his country) record.
These things might not come up in conversation or he might have lied about them as to not scare you away.
Does he have anyone in his country...if he does would you really ever know about it?
If you love him that is great but just wait until you have both spent time together with each other before you do something as drastic as having a child with him.
If you are going to have a baby, are you prepared to live in his country away from your family and friends. If not, would you want to be a single parent with NO support from him whatsoever.
Also be sure that you are clear on his motives...would having a child with him help him to get to America more quickly (even if it wont, does he think that it will?).
If he loves you enough to get you pregnant, does he love you enough to marry you?
what do your parents think of all of this?
I recall a movie (supposedly based on real life) where this woman married this guy and moved to his home country. When she got there, she was forced to be one of his harem of wives (as was customary for his country).
She was miserable and he told her that she could leave but of course he forbade her from taking her children...She of course did get out of the country but it was not without alot of $$$ and sacrafice.
I guess all of that to say be sure you are aware of the customs of his country and how they view women. This woman had no idea that women were property when she arrived.
Whatever you decide, please talk it over with someone you trust and be sure to give that person a detailed itenerary (sp) of your trip so that if something goes wrong she can notify the authorites.
GOOD LUCK!
p.s.
I went to europe once and it was quite scary.
As soon as I got off of the plane it was apparent that I was not in Kansas anymore.
If you ever want to know what it feels like to be illiterate, visit another country where you do not speak the language.
I did not even know how to use the phone.
If you do decide to visit be sure to learn a few key phrases in the language of that country.
2007-01-05 00:14:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ALOT of red flags going off! First off he hardly knows you. Talking on the internet/phone, etc. is not enough. You need real face-to-face time together to really know him. I saw a program on television about people like this. They are not who they really seem and build up an entire fictional persona to ensnare and seduce you into doing what they want. He either wants a way out of the country or he wants money to get out. If you insist upon going to see him I would NOT go alone! Please! Think of your own safety. Your own alarm bells are going off and no matter how well he's got you convinced you know deep inside something is fishy. Listen to that inner voice. Put your feelings aside and make careful decisions.
2007-01-05 00:03:47 · answer #7 · answered by Kurius_Kitten 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This guy sounds like trouble. I know that you love him but you need to be really careful with people you meet online. I have met a couple of guys of the internet and one of them wanted to marry me and have kids with me after only talking online for a couple of weeks and we hadn't even met. The guy turned out to be not who he said he was and not all there in the head. I would trust your instincts if your body is telling you that something isn't right trust yourself. I would give it plenty of time before you would meet him. Also be very careful in meeting him especailly with him being out of the country. It is easy to become a victim in a foriegn place because you don't know where to go for help or help may not be offered where you go. Good luck and be safe.
2007-01-05 00:06:13 · answer #8 · answered by Megan W 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should just tell him that you want to take some time a meet him first before you think of having a baby but I"m not saying that you dont love him but you should see him for a coulpe of months then you could think of haveing a baby.
2007-01-05 00:03:10 · answer #9 · answered by pandas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
his words is so sweet , but how can u have a baby his far away , now if u go to his country , can u ask him married 1st
if not h very hard to solve problem any way go for the baby , ill pry for u
2007-01-05 00:04:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋