Do you have to tell your ex that you're keeping a baby?

Question

my ex moved to NY, and we haven't talked for a month. I tried to contact him a few times, but he was avoiding me at that time. Do I HAVE TO tell him that i'm having a baby?

If I don't and he finds out about a baby later, what would happen to me?? i know he can't support the baby financially.

Answer 1

FIRST OF ALL YOU HAVE TRIED CONTACTING HIM AND HE HAS AVOIDED YOU.IF HE ISNT RESPONSIBLE THEN NO DONT TELL HIM IF YOU DONT TELL HIM YOUR HAVING HIS BABY THEN NOTHING CAN HAPPEN TO YOU THEY ONLY WAY TO PROVE IT IS A DNA TEST JUST FORGET HIM AND TAKE CARE

Answer 2

I don't think this is something we can answer for you. I know your looking for advice but this is really something you have to decide for yourself. You're going to get conflicting answers on here, so it probably wont help you all that much anyway.
Only you know the way you ex is as far as maturity level and responsibility. Of course, I can see that he must not be all that mature since he's ignoring all your calls. You need to consider how he will handle hearing about the baby. Will he be fully involved as far as being a father (besides financially)? I agree the baby should know his/her father but it may be better not to if he will only be a "part-time" dad. By that I mean the type of guy who only shows up when its convenient for him and lets the child down time and time again. Unfortunately, this happens all the time. If this sounds like your ex then maybe it will be better for the baby not to know him. It may save your child heartbreak later. Unfortunately, there will come a time where the child may feel the hurt of not having a father if he rejects the child or you don't tell him.
On the other hand, if you think he will be a good father then it would be better to put the feelings aside and find a way to let him know.
It would be terrible if you decide not to tell him now and live with the guilt later. It may be better to just let him know now and let him decide if he wants to be involved or not. I'm leaning towards that just because he does have legal rights as a father. If he found out about the baby without you telling him he may be able to use that against you in court. I'm not sure on that, but it might be possible.
I don't think I made your decision any easier, but I hope I may have helped even a little. I wish you and your precious baby the best of luck. I know this is a difficult decision but I'm sure you will make the right one.
Take care and congratulations on your baby!

Answer 3

Well, it would be a courtesy to tell him that you are having a baby which may be his. (I'm not making a judgement call on you, but if there were any disputes in his eyes about your faithfulness, it will come up) Just let him know that he doesn't have to be there- you can take care of this baby alone. But you thought it was your duty to tell him. If you really want him out of your life, ask him to sign over his rights as a father, then he can't come back and try to steal the child once he has found Miss Right and be a happy little family with her and YOUR baby.

This senario almost happened with my eldest sister. The father dumped her when she was 5 months pregnant and took off out of state. She raised the baby for 5 years when he came knocking with a court order! He was getting married and wanted to be a family with his new woman. This new gal was totally sterile, so he was going to try to get custody of his son! THE NERVE!
He didn't win because my sister's case was strong that he had abandoned her during pregnancy and was not to be trusted with another dependant. Also, during the case, my sister sued for back child support and won in the excess of 50k! I was so happy for her victory.

Answer 4

You should tell him, just so he knows. And if you truly aren't concerned about child support, telling him and him not being interested won't even matter.

If he finds out later he may become angry and hold this against you. He is the reason you are pregnant, you owe him at least the opportunity to know. If that's not the case, tell his mom, even if you have to track her down through email. Grandma's can end up working wonders!

Either way, whether he likes it or not, you are having the baby and you will be part of each others lives FOREVER! He may resent you now but 5-10 years from now things may be different!

Good Luck!

Answer 5

I know alot of mothers that don't tell their ex's that they are having a baby and never did tell them. It would be best to tell him though because he may really want to have something to do with the baby, that may change his ways too, like get a better job to help you out financially.. you really do not want to be a single mom. I am a single mom of 3 kids with no child support or anything... but I have survived and me and my kids are doing ok.

Answer 6

first of all, he's avoiding you. you can just tell him when he gets around to answering you calls.you have a few months anyway, but eventually you do have to tell him! next you should pursue him for child support. I know you said that he can't afford this baby financialy, but request that it be set at min. wage.your child deserves this!! Someday this man may be rich and you will be trying to support this baby by yourself. you never what will happen in the next 18 yrs! I know you will do what's right for that baby and congratulations!!

Answer 7

I dont think of that there is any incorrect thank you to tell somebody then to easily tell him. yet possibly you should think of approximately why he broke up with you, and if getting back jointly only considering the fact which you're actually pregnant is the final element for you and your infant. I hate to tell you yet you cant stress a guy to be a father, it must be something that he needs additionally. I desire you each and all of the success!!

Answer 8

If you don't put his name on the birth cert. you may have legal troubles in the future. It may allow the baby to have more finical help someday, even if he never pays. As far as telling him... how can anyone else answer that for you? Personally I think it is a good idea to let him know he is a father. If he is abusive you may want to get counsel from a lawyer and or a licensed therapist or a DCFS supervisor.

Answer 9

It is wrong in every way. That child deserves to have a father, to know his father. If you don't tell him you need to rethink your morals. As a father he deserve to know about his child. So he can make a choice to be in the child's life, or just be there for child support. OR YOU CAN ASK HIM TO SIGN HIS RIGHTS OVER. But its his choice.

You must not be trying hard enough. Its not hard to say IM PREGNANT when he answerer's the phone.

Call his friends and family member. Make sure you talk to him and let him know. Let him know you don't care if he signs his rights over you would prefer that.But don't deceive him not tell him.

Yes you can get in trouble he could take you to court. You could have your child taken away from you and have strict visitation rights.

Answer 10

Its a tricky situation and no you don't have to tell him about the baby but morally this is wrong... Its always hard and you need to think about the child. Do you think you baby has a right to know the father... these questions will come up later. I believe that he should know and then make his choice. It is however up to you to do what you think is right.

Good luck and contgrats

Answer 11

you should tell him for your baby's sake. he/she will need a father as well as a mother. at least let your ex decide if he wants to be in the baby's life or not even if you don't go for child support. you owe this to your baby.