My Father & I have always and continue to have a wonderful relationship. He will be called home soon and I am looking for guidance and advice on how or if I can prepare myself for this inevitable event.
2007-01-04 15:16:15 · 12 answers · asked by -:¦:-SKY-:¦:- 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No one can prepare themselves adequately for what is going to take place. How will you know how you will react, think, feel?
Now is certainly the time to have some long chats with your Father asking him what he dreamed of for you, ask for his help in planning your future. Is there anything you can do for him now?
It is also a great time to ask him questions about how he feels about leaving his earthly chains. Does he believe in heaven? Does he have faith?
This is also a good time for you to reflect on his life and what kind of man he is and father. Then tell him just how precious he is to you. This is NOT the time to spare the hugs and "I love yous". Tell him often.
Find something in your everyday living that makes you think of your Father. Perhaps it is a certain time of year, like autumn, when the leaves turn because you can remember you and he raking them; or him hounding you to rake the leaves when all you wanted to do is jump in them! Let him know that some particular activity, time of year, will be "special" to you because it will make you think of him and smile....
Start a journal writing down "letters" to your Father; your thoughts and feelings. This will help you afterwards to capture the "flavor and essence" of who he was in your life.
Most of all, tell your Father that you hope you will always make him proud, and then go and live by that!
2007-01-04 15:29:06 · answer #1 · answered by Patricia D 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how you would go about preparing yourself for something like this. You could organise the practical side of things I suppose - like knowing where the will is, which solicitors to contact, how to register a death, etc., but the grieving side of things would be difficult to emulate before the actual event. I lost both my parents very young and very unexpectedly (dad 48 and mum 52) although not at the same time and I don't think any amount of preparation would have helped me. Best to enjoy people when they are alive and make happy memories. When deaths occur you will somehow cope and carry on.
2016-03-29 08:25:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that you can fully prepare for that. I am glad you have a good relationship, cherish every moment. If you are a person of faith take consolation that he will be in a better place and be having a glorious reunion . I just lost my father and it has been without a doubt the worst thing I have ever had to withstand.God Bless you.
2007-01-04 15:21:46 · answer #3 · answered by LIly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father , although he had had two previous heart attacks, died in his sleep . I was not prepared for this, although I knew deep down I would not have him long. I don't know if your father is ill or not, sometimes when someone is very ill, it is easier to deal with death, as it is a blessing and the suffering is over. The only way I suggest you prepare yourself is to talk to your dad. Ask him if he is afraid to die, talk about his spiritual beliefs, ask he how he dealt with his father's passing, talk about burial plans, legalities and who he wants to have certain personal items. Remember death is natural, and your father will someday be gone physically, but through your memories, everlasting love and respect, and the stories you pass on to your children, your father will live long after his physical being is gone.
2007-01-04 15:39:52 · answer #4 · answered by vivib 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry for what you are going through. I don't think there is ever any way to prepare yourself for what's going to happen. I know from experience that even though you know death is inevitable, when it comes you are never ready for it. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your father.
2007-01-04 15:28:18 · answer #5 · answered by catfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot prepare yourself for ones you love deeply, knowing the bond will end. The preparation you may want to do, will only leave a deeper hurt within you, I suggest you be close to him in his last days, it will be hard without tears, but you have to show strength, for he may be upset by your actions. Remember, your bond, keep it close to you now and it wil last forever. Losing one you love so deeply, creates a pain in your heart which you can feel. So all I can suggest is being by his side, comfort him, I'm sure he would be comfortable with you by his side. GOD Bless Ps, not only comfort him with words, hold his hand, do whatever makes u feel better, it shall be in your heart forever
2007-01-04 15:32:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly, I don't know how you prepare, even when you know it's happening, you still can't believe it. My Dad fought cancer and lost his battle, and we had time to say what needed to be said, but there really isn't much that prepares you for when they are gone. I am so sorry. Use your time now to spend time with him, so that you will have those memories to carry you through the rough times.
2007-01-04 15:21:14 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Death & Dying : By Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross she was the pioneer in research and writing on this topic. Her years in the field working with Hospice patients and the elderly gave her rich insites into the commonality that occursfor all persons in the final stages of life . Her methodology is simplistic in that death approached as merely the last chapter in life as we know it. your fathers health plan providers most likely have a Hospice team in the hospital. They normally consist of PhD's clinical nurses who speciality is in the field of hospice & trained volunteers. I did my undergraduate thesis on Hospice and my experience working with my clients and their loved ones was some of the most rewarding work I've ever done. Without knowing the specifics of your fathers condition I would hesitate to give you any specific suggestions. But please feel free to e-mail me & we can chat as I've mentioned I have expereince working with hospice teams and have coached patients , (with their families nearby ) into a peaceful surrender to death. Be strong---you will have time to grieve after your fathers passing -- as you well know death is the greatest mystery of life...unfortunately once we experience it, and understand its mystery we are unable to tell anyone about it.
2007-01-04 15:57:35 · answer #8 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is no way to prepare for it.. my sister has knowen for over a year that she only had 18 months to live. it came as a shock to us but she keeps a strong front for evreyone.it will still be a shock to us when she dose go
2007-01-04 15:22:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so sorry to hear this my answere to you is to seek God,alow him to help you on this difulcult road you are faceing , just know when your Dad passes over that he is not realy gone for he will always be with you and you 2 will be together again when it is your time to go home ,,,God Bless
2007-01-04 15:33:24 · answer #10 · answered by shirleylindsay1956 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋