I have a cousin who adopted a little girl, how do you tell a child he/she is adopted?

Question

I wont be the one to tell the child of course, I just wonder how you tell a child he is adopted... bottomline is she is really loved by all of us in the family :)

If I posted this question, is only because my cousin asked for advise, not because I will tell the child, I am not the one who has to tell her, I never will!!!

Answer 1

Very Gently. Approach the task by explaining the difference between natural born and adopted children:
Natural born children are given to us by God through the husband-wife relationship consumation.
Adopted children are children that are special - special because
the adopted parents selected the child with their love and admiration of a child that had already been born by someone else. Therefore, an adopted child will usually be selected because the child is WANTED, and is NEEDED to complete the happiness of the adopted parents.

Answer 2

First I think it is great that you are taking an active interest in your cousin's family. Personally, I see nothing wrong with seeking out advice for other people you care about. However, there is a right way and a wrong way to go about sharing advice in a situation like this. I highly recommend that you wait for them to approach you about advice - don't just give it to them unsolicited. Or, if you feel comfortable approaching them and you think they would not be put off by you approaching them with advice, at least you should say something along the lines of "Hey, I heard some really great advice about talking to your daughter about being adopted. If you ever want to talk about what I found out, just let me know, I'd be happy to share what I learned." In essence, only give advice on something like this this if it is wanted. To do otherwise is just not appropriate.

As for actual advice in regards to your question, personally, I would suggest that the fact that a child is adopted be openly discussed and treated as simply a fact of life from day one. The parents should be as open and honest as they can be with the child in an age-appropriate way. For example, if the kid asks "Why didn't my birth mother want me?" the parents should not lie or sugar-coat the answer. If they don't know, say so, and they shouldn't speak for the birth parent unless they know the reason. And if they want they can say "We'll talk about it when you are older." But whatever a person does, they shouldn't lie. In my experience, parents who lie to try and protect their children from the harsh realities of life don't realize that they run the risk of teaching their children the worst possible lesson they could learn as a child - that their parents cannot be trusted. Kids who can't trust their parents are usually not happy and healthy kids.

Beyond this, I think the rest is basically a matter of preference. If you are proactively honest with an adopted kid, there is no reason they should have much trouble with it. It is the foolish parents who lie to their kids about their being adopted that end up traumatizing them. The honest parents tend to have kids who are ok with it - and if you are open about it from day one, the kid won't know any different, and being adopted will be no bigger of an issue than the color of their hair.

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

First of all its not up to you! Second your cousin waits until the child asks, and then its up to your cousin, to tell the child just enough to satisfy her question,for now (depending on the childs age) and then maybe wait until the child brings it up again, and then only your cousin will have to decide what exactly to tell the child. Your cousin will know the child better than anyone.

Answer 4

You tell them the whole time. So growing up they know that they are adopted. You can make it sound just as good as having a baby too. Such as, we went to the doctor and told them that we wanted a baby with _ eyes, _hair, and was one of the most beautiful children I have ever seen. You do not have to lie to them. If you lie, and they find out, they are going to be angry with you for not telling them, and depending on the age, it is very likely that they will rebel.

Answer 5

you do not say how until now this became. He desires to get a legal expert as we talk because of the fact there are very strict time limits on how long you will possibly be able to desire to alter your techniques. He might desire to work out a legal expert the following day, particularly if it is been under 6 months. you have an adoption vacated if it hasn't been finalized. If attainable, he desires to get visitation as nicely, because of the fact the main up-tp-date gambit is to postpone, postpone, postpone so as that the a-dad and mom or adoption company can declare that the newborn is now bonded. Too undesirable. forget approximately relating to the comments approximately being merciless to the adoptive dad and mom. it is unlucky, besides the shown fact that it is your infant. it is likewise not merciless to the newborn to be together with his/her organic dad and mom. infants alter only nice.

Answer 6

well, yeah, your cousin is responsible for handling that one. i think it is a good thing to always let them know they are adopted. that way they don't freak out when they are older and they find out. but that is just me.

Answer 7

You never hide it from them. You tell them they are special and chosen by their new family. You tell them they are adopted from day one. No surprises (they backfire, BIG TIME)

Answer 8

Your cousin needs to tell her.

Answer 9

The time to tell (the parents will do it) is when she asks where she came from.

Answer 10

Three words "You are adopted".