Question about military spousal rights regarding BAH.?

Question

Currently my situation is I am a Navy spouse. We have one child and one on the way. My hubby is stationed in another state for his A school. We have a joint checking account so I do technically have access to the money he gets. But he spends it all. And I am sick and tired of falling behind on our bills (rent, electric, phone, etc) because he can not control his spending. I am under the impression that he does get extra BAH for being married, having a kid and his BAH is based on where I live not where he is stationed for school.

I would really like to know what my options are concerning this issue.

Since he can not control his spending ( For instance last month I wasn't able to pay our rent on time because he decided to get a tattoo (with out even talking to me or listening when I told he that we only have X amount in our bank account) And since we have a baby on the way I would like to at least start saving some money.

Answer 1

Okay, here's what you probably HAVE to do.

First, sit down for a heart to heart on the phone. Explain to him that he really is backing you into a corner with the money. He absolutely must agree to an allowance or you'll have no choice but to go to his petty officer in charge of him. He obviously cannot handle his finances and he is not providing for his family. These are actually UCMJ (uniform code of military justice - the military's criminal law) offenses and he could be in some serious trouble for them.

Be careful how you do it, because he is at his A school and a bunch of the other guys (who are obviously impressing their ways upon him or bringing out his inner child) will poison him against you and tell him that you're all about the money, etc. I understand that it's not about the money, trust me, but they'll say it to him while they're all out drinking and he'll get all riled up; I've seen it a hundred times.

If he does not agree to an allowance, then go to his petty officer in charge and let that person know. He/she will start with a counseling statement and discuss corrective measures with him. It is a lot better than going to base legal or anyone outside his chain of command because his immediate leaders will try to resolve it with minimal consequence upon his career or his opportunities for advancement.

Good luck and don't put up with it; you're the one who has to care for the kids and keep the home fires burning and he MUST understand that even if it takes a little tap to the head to do it from someone in his chain of command.

Answer 2

Ok - here is the deal. He likely does draw BAH-D (Basic Allowance for Housing with Dependents), unless you are occupying government housing. If he does, he probably draws it based on dependent location (where you are) because, if he is in "A" school, he likely has not reached his first permanent duty station. The bad news is that the paycheck is his, and although he has an obligation to support his dependents (the Navy mandates that all personnel will support family members), the Navy cannot force him to send you money. That is a civil matter in which the Navy cannot become involved. However, he can get in trouble for violating an order or regulation. The bad part there is that he would likely only lose money, which is short enough for a just-starting young family. Calling the Commanding Officer is not the right answer, as you will likely be re-directed to the Personnel or Legal Officer, who will probably tell you pretty much what I have. Your best bet is to talk to him directly, and between the two of you, determine your budget and set aside personal allowances for yourselves. He can contact his Command Financial Specialist to help get that done. If he still wants to act like a irresponsible kid - I suggest you try to contact his Command Master Chief. CMC's are better equipped to properly motivate young Sailors into doing the right thing, and are less likely to pass the buck. They are results oriented. Good luck.

Answer 3

(I'm a Navy wife too, so I would love to help ya!) Hmmm...this is a tough one. Do you have POA? I really don't know what you can do legally. What I would suggest is to open a new checking account that he has no access to and having your husband do the direct deposit into that account. If you're using Navy Fed, you can transfer X amount to your joint account for whatever he needs to spend money on. This all depends on if he is willing to do this though. It seems kind of mean to cut him off from his paycheck, but your children and bills definitely come before a tat. You may also want to go to the Fleet and Family center or Legal to ask someone what you can legally do. It never hurts to ask, and I find that the people working there are VERY helpful! Good luck!

Answer 4

Good luck with that. He doesn't get paid extra BAH. You can have him set up an allotment that goes right to your personal bank account. I suggest writing out all of the bills and figuring out an exact amount you need and him agree on it and do the allotment. Then he can have a little spending money. He shouldn't need much considering he is probably at the barracks. You can set up an allotment if you have his my pay password and his social. I am not sure what the Navy's my pay is but ours is mypay.dfas.mil

Answer 5

as long as you have access to the joint checking account, the Navy considers you being supported. It ain't the navy's fault he;s spending it all.

If his A school orders are Unacompanied, then yes, BAH is based on your location. This is something you have to explain to HIM. HE is the one who is putting you inthe poor house by his spending habits. He has to realize that he needs to step up and quit the foolishness. If you tried talking to him about it and he contnues to spend it, then contact the base chaplian.. the Chaplian will give him a heart to heart.. he will NOT get into trouble for it, and he may just wake up and start acting like an adult.

If this doesn;t work, you could try going to his Chief.. but this WILL get him into trouble, and you have to be very careful how you handle something like this. The Navy really does NOT like to get involved with domestic issues like this, and he could get a serious chewing out, which could rebound on you.

Answer 6

Hello-
Your first step is to call his commander because yes, you are right, he is paid extra for BAH due to marriage. He is also paid extra per month if he is gone for more than 30 days (consecutive)..Family Seperation Allowance. He is also required to provide a minimum amount to you because you have children. Ask his commander to have your husband set up an allotment to a bank account that only you have access to. I hope this helps and good luck. I know many others in your situation. Check the website below for more details of his exact pay..you should also be able to view his monthly LESs.

Answer 7

Call the school and talk to his commander. He is responsible for ensuring that you and the children are taken care of. BAH is money for you and the kids, not for him to get a tattoo. If he is too irresponsible to send the money to you, or leave enough in the account to pay the bills, then his command needs to be notified so that the money gets to you.

Answer 8

As soon as he gets paid, take what you have to have and leave an "allowance" in there. Be sure it is enough to cover essentials.

He really REALLY needs to grow up. He can get into trouble for paying stuff late and having bad credit - it can affect security clearances, etc.

He'll probably be pissed, but explain that with 2 kiddos, he has to make sure they are provided for FIRST....then if there is $$ left over, that is 'play money'. Try to save some - even 20 a month will be a start...

Answer 9

I agree mostly with AmyChick. However, you need to talk to him before you do anything. Remember things are just going to get tougher as he starts getting ready to go out to sea. The Navy does offer family counseling services, Fleet Family support I think its called. But it sounds like you have some issues in your marriage that need to be resolved.
With that said if you feel that you or your kids are in jeporady, tell him first then go to the commanding officer, you should be able to find out who it is by googling the base hes at. Once you get the base operator, she should be able to direct your call. Good luck, and I am sorry for your situation.

Answer 10

You do not have control over his BAH. He does recieve BAH w/ dependents so if you were to separate from him, he would have to pay partial-BAH according to zip code and rank. That is the only way you can take control of his BAH.