Why can't food be crumbless?

Question

Here we go again. I am at my computer trying to eat a cake-like brownie, and the damned crumbs and big chunks of the thing are dropping down the front of my shirt, some bouncing onto the keyboard and most of them landing on the floor between my feet, where they ultimately end up on the bottoms of my socks. If I wanted brownie on the bottoms of my socks I would just pack the stuff onto my socks directly from the cake pan and save the trouble of this mess all over the floor, which I now have to wipe up.

Why can't food be made that doesn't disintegrate into a billion pieces that fall all over the place before you can jam it into your face?

Not only that, but some of the crumbs fall into my shirt, where they end up packed into my navel. So after I get done wiping the floor I have to dig half the brownie out of my navel. This seems like far more trouble than it's worth.

Answer 1

Near as I can figure you have two options. One is spray your food first with an industrial grade polymer so as to fuse the food together. This may affect the flavor though. Two would be to always make sure to eat food that your girlfriend/wife/secretary likes. Then when you drop those little pieces on you , she can lick them off. Make sure to drop "accidentally" a few crumbs down your pants. Sounds to me like you haven't got a problem. Just a golden opportunity.

Answer 2

I totally understand how you feel! Crumbs are one of my hugest pet peeves! Sometimes I wish that they didn't exist! Oh yeah, I always think that.

I think someone should make food so that it is crumbless. That would be amazing. In fact, maybe I'll try to do it myself. . . . Okay never mind, I give up.

You want to know what your question should be? You don't want to hear this, but I'm going to tell you anyway. Instead of asking yourself, "why can't food be crumbless?" you should ask, "how can I turn food having crumbs into a positive thing?" Now, you may ask what the answer to that question is. I don't know what the answer to that question is. But I do know that even though crumbs may be annoying, I can try to not be annoyed by them and make the best out of what I'm given. Even if it means that I have to avoid eating brownies at the computer. Besides, who needs the calories anyway? Oh yeah, I don't care ;)

Answer 3

It can't be crumbless because if it were, it'd be nearly impossible to eat, especially for older people with no teeth at all. It would defy nature. I know, I know. I have a brand new $1200 notebook, and there's cracker crumbs in the keyboard already. I say just eat crumbly foods over a plate. That's what I do. Try to eat things like crackers whole, to eliminate crumbs.

Answer 4

well, for on thing, it would be less entertaining to any ongoers watching you make a mess of yourself. In all seriousness though, you could try eating something like an apple, carrots, or plain vanilla ice cream aka no crumbs.

Answer 5

it wouldn't taste as good if it all stuck together. I think that the crumbs is part of what makes it taste good. I mean, how many good cookies have you eaten that don't crumble, atleast a lttle bit?

Answer 6

Puree it in a blender, put it in a baby bottle with the nipple on it and where a bib. That might help. Either that or put your head face down in the plate or bowl.

Answer 7

lol quit eating crummy food and switch to a liquid diet...I suggest Baccardi 151 rum mixed with Red Bull

Answer 8

Plate?
Napkin?
Table?
Forks?
Knives?

Answer 9

well you should eat using a plate, and maybe a fork or spoon. computer desks are not suitable for eating, even if many, including me, eat on it.