It used to be just the mother in law, but, now the sister in law has moved into the same town. It is really hot, a real stinker of a summer, they keep coming over and asking me if they can take my two year old son out for a swim at my mother in laws house. They have not once asked me to come and when they take him, they grin a lot, as if they have gotten away with something...I don't mind them taking him for a swim, as I like to encourage his family to spend time with him. I know they are hiding something, I believe it is a general dislike of me, as they seem to be getting more and more obvious about it...I am getting to the point where I will need to say something, I know my husband will back me up on what ever I decide, but this is about my son. His Nan and Auntie are all he has here, apart from us.
2007-01-04 14:26:44 · 9 answers · asked by Whava 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The next time they ask you should reply that you both would love to go swimming. A similar situation was going on with my wife and my mom. It got so crazy trying to make them both happy that I was going crazy!!!!! It got to the point that I decided it was my wife who I slept with every night and so I needed to preserve that relationship first. I told my mom that my wife was who I choose to spend my life with and if she really loved me than she needed to cut my wife some slack. Have the hubby set his mom and sis down and "lay the law" down about respecting you as the one who is making her son happy.
Hope this helps.
2007-01-04 14:39:22 · answer #1 · answered by taco62 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would be very suspicious and say no. If I said yes, then what I would do is just turn up at the door a few hours later saying I thought I'd come and have a swim too.
Your son is two years old, they could be brain washing him by saying little things. Take your son out more to mix with other mothers and children. Start up a mother and toddler group of your own. There must be other women that would just love to sit having an adult conversation whilst their children play. This would then ensure new friends for yourself and your son.
I hope you can reslove this problem as it sounds like it could get very out of hand.
2007-01-04 15:53:15 · answer #2 · answered by Curious39 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't wait a minute longer! Next time they (she) asks to take your son swimming, you might say, "Sure, but I think we grownups have to talk about something _WHILE I'M THERE!_ Go with your son and have that talk. Iron out with them how you feel and don't make any threats if they say this or that, just explain how you feel and that you feel your son needs ALL OF YOU. The child shouldn't be made a pawn under any circumstances. Seek first some harmony and don't be afraid to speak your piece, but also LISTEN TO WHAT THEY SAY! Don't be confrontational. I wouldn't have left my son to go without me anyway, even without their actual invitation -- just take it for granted that you're invited and see what happens. He's YOUR son and if your husband supports your decision, perhaps you all need to sit down for this talk. M.I.L. seems to have acquired an alli so why can't your husband be yours and even the playing field?
2007-01-04 14:55:31 · answer #3 · answered by MJ D 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talk to your husband about the problem you are having with his mother and sister and ask him to talk to them about it. Tell him that you're not happy with how they are treating you. You are meant to be a family member not someone standing on the sidelines. If they can't accept having your company whilst swimming, then I wouldn't let them take your son either. Why not take him yourself to the local pool (presuming there is one), then when they ask to take him, tell them he's already been.
2007-01-04 20:27:31 · answer #4 · answered by Brighteyz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont say anything just yet. next time they come and ask, invite yourself along. drive your car over so your not expecting anything from them. if they dont like it then they can go home and have a swim on their own while you take him to the town pool if you have one or shopping to buy a small pool. try not to get nasty. even though your hubby will back you up the mother will still get in his ear. you dont want to start fighting about her. thats prob what she wants.
2007-01-04 14:53:34 · answer #5 · answered by biancajh 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
next time they tae him for swim to nan's house wait about twenty minutes then follow say you forgot he had an appointment at the haridressers... then collect him...
that way you will know they have actuallytaken him for a swim.. and not something else...
2007-01-04 19:41:23 · answer #6 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say sure we will come over for a swim and wait for the response then act accordingly.
2007-01-04 15:13:14 · answer #7 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats pretty rude you're meant to be family now. He's your son go with him, talk to your husband get that nonsense sorted don't let it simmer.
2007-01-04 16:30:53 · answer #8 · answered by bentomsun 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
best way is tell your husband of problem and let him take care of it as this avoids confrontation as he should know how to deal with them
2007-01-07 07:45:32 · answer #9 · answered by ariesfunram 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋