Why do I feel guilty moving on while my mother is in hospital with the possibility of not coming home?

Question

I just recently moved back home from LA and literally a week after being home my mother was rushed to the hospital. She has COPD, diabetes and heart disease, the three deadly diseases. My mom has been in the hospital now for 2 months and I'm just getting exhausted going there. I feel so guilty not being there every day and I'm starting to give up hope shes going to recover and come home. Is it wrong that I'm not there every day and feeling angry that shes not home with me?

Answer 1

Your feelings are not wrong, as emotions can never be wrong. You have a right to feel the way you do, but whats important is the way you deal with it, and how you react to your mothers illness. This really hits home with me because two of the diseases you mentioned, diabetes and heart disease is exactly what my mother is battling herself. And being married and far away, I can't tell you how much I want to be near her and by her side. I only wish I could travel back and forth to see her the way you can.That said, I would say remind yourself that going back and forth is something you CAN do right not. It may be exhausting, but im sure it's nothing compared to the pain and exhaustion your mother is going through. Dont ever give up the hope that she wont recover, because that is so important to your spirit and your mothers. You need to keep hope so that she can see hope in her daughters eyes. And the best way to keep hope is to count your blessings and look at those that are not as privileged as you are, i.e the people who have lost their parents and just wish that they could have spent more time with them. Try to redirect the energy spent in your anger to hope, you can do it! And perhaps you can try spending longer visits rather than more frequent ones that would not exhaust you. Lastly, cherish the moments you have with your mother. Good Luck!

Answer 2

You have to divide your time up so you don't get exhausted. Go for an hour a day or a couple hours and skip a day and give her a call. You being sick will not help her. Its normal to be angry,its part of the emotional stages you will go through. But I don't think your angry at her. I think your angry at the situation. Don't give up hope. Hope for the best, but expect the worse. If it comes to where she doesn't come home, I hope you can come to terms that it isn't her fault or yours.

Answer 3

well you can't be there 24/7 visit a couple of times a week calling is good everyday or every other day keep in touch with her.You have to go on with your life,Because if you don't you all that you have worked for will go down the drain.Do you have any brothers and sisters? If yes rotate the days with eachother so some one is there with her.Stay string and talk to your mom about how you are feeling I am sure she will understand.Take care!

Answer 4

Of course you are exhausted & frustrated. It goes with the territory and is perfectly normal, so there's no need to feel guilty. Just keep on being as supportive as you can. It's hard, and I know b/c I've been there a few times, but remember, she's in far worse circumstances than you are. One day she will no longer be there for you, and you could have regrets.

Answer 5

U cant be expected to go there everyday u need a life outside of that or u will just wear yourself into the ground.

Answer 6

Sickness will bring out many emotions when it is our mothers. You are scared you will lose her and you want to be there every minute, but it gets so heatwrenching to watch her suffer.

Answer 7

i wouldn't blame you...
try to have constant communication with your mom...
call her often..that's not hard to do...
make her feel that your still beside her even you
're not there physically...