I hate my mum. I can't find a way out of this... help!!?

Question

My dad was away often (work) and he used to be my only protector. My mum didn't give a **** about her children. She's always sleeping during the day. Was never around. Never cook for us. Never clean the house. I was sick one time and she didn't even bother to give me a medicine. I had to look at the cabinet for it myself. She was always on my dad's face. Playing tennis until late w/ friends without letting my dad knows. Wasting money for facials and hair salons (she never washes her hair by herself).They were fighting alot. When she got angry, she would beat her kids (a.k.a me) with a stick for no reason. One day(I was 11), she hit me and dragged my hair into the living room, I was crying, and suddenly had the courage to kick her off me. Since then I was this Rebellious kid. I shouted back at her and always telling her what she did wrong. She never listens. I was sent to a boarding school when I was 13. They only visited me TWICE the whole time I was in high school. I hate her.

Now that I'm 23, I still can't get over it. We stopped communication for years and then when we do talk we always argue.

HELP!!! I wanna cut her off my life!!

I went to alot of counselors, psychologists, and even depended on ZOLOFT at one time when I was in senior year high school!

I can't believe someone as ignorant, neglectful and irrational as her EVEN existed!!!

and... I confronted her... ALOT of times. she just didn't want to listen or change or admit any wrongdoings. NEGLECT is wrong!!

Answer 1

Your hatred, while it may seem justified isn't hurting HER, Honey, it's hurting YOU. You have to forgive her for YOUR sake. She may Never admit she was wrong, but you can still allow her to stop ruling your life with the bitterness you're carrying around everyday. If you DON'T forgive, your health will suffer, future relationships will suffer, possibly future CHILDREN will too. It doesn't mean you have to keep her in your life. Sometimes, unhealthy relationships, even if it's family, needs to be severed.

Good luck, Sweetie!
xx

Answer 2

Breathe, first off.
Judging by the fact that you kept coming back from edits, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this is clearly something that bothers you intensely. As someone who has found therapy to be remarkably helpful when dealing with family issues, I recommend trying a few sessions. It'll allow you to get all of this off your chest, and get licensed and thought out feedback. After a few sessions, odds are your therapist will ask if you feel comfortable enough to let your mother and/or father sit in on the session and discuss the issues at hand. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, it will (in the very least) show you how to appropriately approach your parents and let them know how much they've hurt you over the years.
Honestly, before rushing into a confrontation, take care of yourself; you don't want to go into anything involving her blindly, as it might just give your mother more ammunition in which to continue her behaviour towards you with.
If after all of this you still want "a way out of this," it might be time to take an indefinite break from each other. That is, assuming you're 18+ (it sounds like you're out of high school, so I'm thinking you are?) - in which case you're legally an adult, and your parents don't technically have any jurisdiction over you.

Answer 3

I also hate her n im sorry for everything youve been throught first u have to let go of all the damage she as done to u even though is hard then try going away to another country or state and change ur number n make a new life but remember u cant always run away from ur problems, good luck.

Answer 4

I am so sorry. This is not something you will get over shortly. You really need to try to talk to someone professionally if you can. I can't give that kind of advise. But knowing how I take care of my children really saddens me that anyone would have to experience a childhood like you did. Please get some help. It will be so good for you to be able to talk to someone that can really help you. You will feel better and maybe become able to have a relationship with your mother one day. You also should consider this help so you will not be affected when you have children one day. I know you would never want anyone else to go through what you have. Good Luck!!! And Pray-God can heal if you truly let him.- I do know this :)

Answer 5

listen sweety, I'm randy I went thru damn near the same thing you did with my mom, she would beet my head into a cole stove when my dad was at work, I hated her for many year's even wished at times she would just leave or die.but as i got older I just came to a Point in my life, iwasn't gonna let what ever Problems She had destroy my life.hun holding Anger inside, will "eat you up" Hell it caused me strees,depression, i took freaking 3 10mg valiums every damn day for years....I acted as I was a good person not hating, just being me! I think my mother hated it, and the reason why, is she seen she can't break a REAL persons spirit. hun you ever need to talk feel free to e-mail me
Have a Great day hun

Answer 6

Sure sounds like a seriously difficult situation. Were there any other relatives who you could turn to for assistance and guidance. That's the first recourse. Secondarily friends and neighbors may need to be consulted. Your mother's case may have required therapeutic help, if not outright commitment, as she was a danger to you and possibly herself in this situation. The church would also have been a recourse for guidance and assistance as well.

There are situations in life where we may be called upon to just walk away from and this certainly seems like it must be the case for you.

Answer 7

Maybe she was raised that way too.

And she has no more hope in happiness in her life so she spends it on looks and maybe since her parents never noticed or lovedd or whatever the problem was she just doesnt like it ?

Im really sorry for you but there isnt much you can do. Try not to think about her unless she apoligizes.... remeber not to do that to your own kids too ;D

Answer 8

If you really, really want her out of your life, you have to let go of all this. Or else she will be inside your head for the next 70 years, influencing every relationship, every job, every decision UNTIL YOU DIE. If you really want to break those ties, you'll probably need to get some help to do it. Get a weekly counseling session set up and talk your way out of that bad childhood. Good Luck.

Answer 9

I know how you feel.I was sent to boarding school and was treated like crap from the kids,teachers and staff.
There was this teacher Paul Movinsky who hated me
and said I deserved to be hurt.I wanted to commit suicide
and he said I want you to.
This place was Mills School in Ft.lauderdale florida(closed 1978).I was told everyday what a worthless piece
of S i was. I have emotional scars today from that h*** hole.
I have fantasies of shooting up Mills School.
Anyone from Mills school my email is [e-mail]

Answer 10

well I am sorry to hear all of what you went through,your childhood is supposed to be happy.Sounds like your mom was very selfish and meen.1st you need to tell her how mush you hate her and why and see how she respond and tell her you don't want her in your life and then walk away,wash your hand of her.and if and when you have Children Be the best mother you can don't repeat your moms past mistakes.Good Luck and stay strong.