2007-01-04 13:16:56 · 34 answers · asked by Melissa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, desire fluctuates throughout a relationship. You aren't a machine. Sometimes you'll feel it more and sometimes less. You are still attracted. Things sound just fine.
2007-01-04 13:18:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to start off by addressing Wanglvr: What a loser. Someone posts an honest question and an idiot like you has to put up that you've been sleeping with her boyfriend. Seriously, grow up. There are way too many things you can be doing with you time besides being a jerk. Perhaps graduating from high school drollery would be a nice step.
Back to the question at hand: The relationship isn't over! Don't call it quits just because you aren't wanting to jump his bones everytime you see him! It's perfectly normal to have "dry" spells in a realtionship. I'm sure you can recall times where you guys were CRAZY ALL THE TIME. And then there are times like these where its just not crazy and things are slowing down, its okay. There's always a calm before a nice, rockin' thunderstorm! lol
2007-01-04 13:35:57 · answer #2 · answered by Chick-a-Dee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone else asked a similar question. This was the answer I gave them:
"If you've been together with him for a while, it's easy to fall into a sexual rut. I guess even if you haven't been together long, but have sex a lot, you can still get into the same rut. Things can become routine, boring, predictable.
Maybe he can't satisfy you, like the others have said. If that's not the case, though, maybe he just needs to try other things. You both would need to work to keep things alive.
An important thing to remember is not let it go on if you aren't happy. If he finds out you don't enjoy it, it might hurt his feelings. It can also make you dread any future encounters. Just be open and honest with him. Maybe talking to him will improve things.
Also, for women, it's so easy to mentally "tune out". Make sure you stay focused during it. If you have to, spend a few minutes before you see him or before getting into bed to sort of "psych" yourself up. They sell books and CDs for this, but I'm sure if you just think about it and get your brain sending out those endorphins, that should do the trick.
Sometimes it can be overrated. Compared to the emotional connection, it isn't as important. Sometimes it can be a hassle if you're not into it. I understand where you're coming from, but if things are alright, this shouldn't be an issue. It should just be fun.
If the feelings are really there, I wouldn't worry :) If two people care about each other, it's easy to fix this problem!"
So don't fret . .just talk to him. Trust your gut, too. If you feel like things have changed and you should move on, don't let the relationship linger and go bad. Separate on good terms.
But as I said before, if you guys both care about each other, you can work it out. :) goodluck
2007-01-04 13:26:00 · answer #3 · answered by ZenBrain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the just like anything else in the relationship, sex is also something a couple must work at. Many things can interfere with wanting to be intimate such as something that happened in your childhood (im just mentioning that because i went through it ok) or you may feel uncomfortable.If you are feeling any discomfort the best choice would be talking to your boyfriend about it.If he really did care, he would listen to you and try to take things slow.Trust me it may sound cheesy but my boyfriend had to do the same with me. And talking to him about it can make the two of you closer than ever. So dont give up yet, honey, if you guys both feel your worth it, you guys will figure something out.
2007-01-04 13:23:36 · answer #4 · answered by happiness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every relationship...good or bad, can sometimes lose some sizzle and start to fizzle in the sex department. It's not uncommon and is just a byproduct of complacency or 'comfortableness'. Shake things up a little bit by making a 'date' with him and taking him to a motel, or wear something really crazy to bed (nurse? maid?), strip for him or ask him to strip for you. Have a 'couples' massage at a local spa. Surprise him with a few new moves in bed, watch a xxx movie with him and then ask what he likes. You'll be surprised how he'll want to please you when you tell him what YOU want as well. A great relationship doesn't have to suffer from boring sex...you just need to spice it up and remind him of what made you two hot in the first place!
2007-01-04 13:26:05 · answer #5 · answered by Suzi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that is some explanation, first i would like to say next time until you are remarried do not get your child emotionally involved or move her in with a man your involved with, that is not a good role model. It seems to me your man is comfortable enough to go with the flow I guess you could say, things never stay like they are when you first start dating (that is lust not love) the on going after the lust dies out is reality and staying through that is love. The continuity of a bond but on a different level the fact that he is living with you means for most men they feel comfortable with you there and secure. Its the opposite for you in this case. Things like dogs really shouldn't be your largest concern. It seems to me after all of this your looking for a reason to leave or explain why its ok for you to be unhappy and stay. These functions that hes going to 2x a week are they mandatory, to improve his business? if so you just have to accept them if not then talk to him tell him you would like to join him or need at least one night out a month just the two of you. After all you are not married but dating. Also reguarding the sex, it will not be something that happens daily after all you both are working and have children, most married couples have sex a range from once a week to once every other month its not unusual. Perhaps its time to look inside your self and not depend on another for happiness but learn to be happy on your own only enhanced by others. Good luck
2016-05-23 04:23:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if you want it to be! Relationships change all the time. If it really bothers you both talk it out with him. My partner & I went through the same thing but now he understands that no sex is not the be all and end all of our relationship. Since then we slip in & out of sexless times with no dramas. Also bear in mind your lifestyles and jobs. My partner is a shift worker & so we find it hard to synchronise our lives. Simply speaking couples need to work on their relationship all the time and sex is just one part of a huge complex invigourating frustrating loving demanding part of life!
2007-01-04 13:33:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're still attracted to him and the relationship is in good shape otherwise, don't worry about it. Is there something else in your life that is keeping stressing you or keeping you out of the mood? Every couple experiences this at some point.
2007-01-04 13:21:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In relationships, especially have years, the sex will sometimes slow down from the beginning. It doesn't mean that it's over. Relationships and love aren't all about the sex.
2007-01-04 13:19:49 · answer #9 · answered by fun girl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it was primarily based on sex... yes it is.
Once I got bored with my stud, I broke up with him. Sex just wasn't as good anymore because he was good looking, but stupid. The stupid part got to me.
Otherwise, if you both have a bond that is a part of your personalities and compliment each other intellectually, no it's not over.... it's just a little more boring unless you guys get out together more.
2007-01-04 13:21:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋