Am I expecting too much for my first time?

Question

Yes, I am 19, Latina, and still a virgin...(there aren't too many of us). Sometimes, I feel like I should lower my standards on my expectations but then again I feel like sex today is given so easily and should mean more. (I'm not waiting to get married since I don't plan on ever getting married). My friend honestly told me, I should just lose it with a random guy on spring break...that just pretty much depressed me.

What do you mean what's the question... am I making too much of a big deal on having sex or not?

Answer 1

No! Your first time should mean something. If you just want to "do it," then OK, whatever, go find any guy, who cares? But that's gross, and you know it.

But you're right to be depressed by that idea. There are good guys out there who don't just want sex. They want to find somebody who makes them better than they would be alone. Hold out. There is somebody out there who's perfect for you, and you'll hold him in your heart forever, regardless of whether he's THE ONE.

Answer 2

You talk about sex like it is a special 'gift' that you are giving to a special and deserving man. If you are with a good and compatible sex partner sex should be just as enjoyable for you as it is for him. Thus you are not really giving anything away, merely enjoying a mutually enjoyable activity. It's like french kissing. You are both participating, you are not giving some guy a special gift.

Frankly, I think that your ideals are a little old fashioned and encouraged by a sexist society that places unreasonable and biased expectations on women.

You should have sex when you are emotionally ready to have sex, with someone you care about. Losing it to some random guy seems a little extreme, but equally, believing that you are saving some special gift for a special person is quite honestly a little unrealistic. Sex, like anything else requires practice to become good at it. The first few times you have sex is unlikely to be all that enjoyable for you, nor particularly impressive for him.

All that said, you should not force yourself to have sex just because you feel pressured to do so. My concern however is that if you keep your standards too high, and build the whole thing up in your head too much, you may end up waiting too long and finally being fairly inexperienced in bed when Mr. Perfect comes along.

Answer 3

This is probably not what a 19 year old wants to hear but what you need to!

There are only so many positions at the top. There are still many people much older than you trying to get there!
Their best chances have always been improved the more they manage to keep others down! They cheat. They set up traps! Always have and always will!

Drugs, early pregnancies, alcohol, every single distraction you could possibly imagine including the ever popular peer pressure your own age group will try to use to keep YOU from getting ahead of even your own age group!

The best way of avoiding a trap is knowing it is there! Assume any and everything that is not improving your life at this point is just another potential ceiling somebody is trying to put you under!

Knocked up, diseased, and soiled is a situation that for you is only five minutes away!

So, what are YOU going to do? Sucker? or Smart?

PS-Lose the "Latina" caca! Para tu exito, es no bueno!

Answer 4

You don't need anyone to tell you what to do. Just because you're not waiting and planning to get married does not necessarily mean that you won't get married in the long run. However, I do agree with you that sex should mean more. Sex is something done with something strong built behind it, like trust, love, and respect. Making love to someone you don't know is completely dangerous. I advise you to not sell out and not give yourself so easily as so many girls your age do. You're young, when the time is right, you'll meet someone who will appreciate you, and you might marry. More important than sex is having someone who makes you feel loved and beautiful, or shall I say, "muy bonita."

Answer 5

NOOOO don't do it even though you're not planning on getting married wait until you fall in love with someone and if you think he's the one you wanna give yourself to do it, but other than that DON'T. I'm latina and still believe in finding the right person not only because everyone is doing it at an early age i'm just gonna go and do it. Trust your instinct and don't do it if you know your not that kinda girl : )

Answer 6

Never lower your standards. Keep your virginity...you are young...you may say NOW that you never intend to marry, but you may change your mind a few years down the line. What an awesome gift to give your mate!! Even if you don't marry, at least wait for someone you genuinely care about or love.

Answer 7

You are to be commended on being a virgin and having high moral standards for yourself. You should not lower your standards for anyone. You will probably meet someone in the future who is looking for a fine lady and your feeling about marriage may change too, when you meet a special gentleman, not one that just wants sex.

Answer 8

If the idea of having casual sex for your first time bothers you then it is wrong, don't do it! Do not listen to any friends who tell you otherwise. You are right when it concerns you. If you believe sex should mean more than it should--for you.

I'm a much older virgin than you and making my first time just some casual thing just bugs the heck out of me. I know if I were to go that route I would loose all respect for myself and all women.

Answer 9

Expecting too much?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! Don't worry about what anyone else says, and that's truely my honest opinion. You can choose when to and who to loose your virginity to on basis of your own terms, expectations and morals. I totally agree that you believe sex is very meaningful and should be thought of intensly before just saying "Oh, what the hell..." I was lucky to be with my boyfriend of 2 + years before loosing ours' together and It made our relationship stronger rather than the more awkward effect of one night flings. He never pressured me or asked about it or tried to kiss up to hurry my decision along. So any partner who does so to you isn't worth your time! =) I have so much respect for girls like you, because the body is a temple and a first time should be momentous and something you'll never regret no matter what. Take as LONG as you like, trust me!

Best of luck 2 you, girlie <3

Answer 10

Its good that you are 19, and still a virgin. I lost mines at the age of 15... and I regret it. Even though I "thought" I was in Love... I regret every minute. Trust me its not worth it. If you know your not going to wait until marriage... atleast experience your 1st time, with someone you truly care about! But I think you should wait.