my bf has never been violent towards me, but dose that mean it will stay that way?? or am i fooling my self into one day becoming a victim by trying to ignore his increasingly angry and physical behavior, and threats on others (even whan im the only one who hears him)???? hes a recovering alcoholic and has relapsed 3 x's in the last month (after almost 5 sober)........the last incident was on the 24th----where he got a d.u.i. and he JUST told me last night!!! im smart enough to know the warning signs, but-------i dont want to set him off by trying to laydown some boundaries......im scared, but not scared enough????? please helpif you have any advice or definitly if you have expierienced this also...........how/when do u say enough! when it could pose more damage to not only me, but him, or others????? PLEASE!!!! i also have substance abuse in my history, self-injury, and anorexia, and a list of diagnoses and medications------i need help while im able to ask..........thanks---
2007-01-04 12:45:00 · 14 answers · asked by cokocobain 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
you need to get out now. stop taking the crap. if he's not helping, he is not worth having around and you need help. please get help, for you and get away from him. good luck.
2007-01-04 12:50:30 · answer #1 · answered by MISS-MARY 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get away from this animal (sorry, furry friends!) NOW. I can tell you have poor self-esteem, which makes it difficult to leave, but for self-preservation, you need to leave. It WILL escalate, trust me; I've seen it many times with my friends. It even happened to me 25 years ago when I was married to a severe alcoholic and he tried to kill me by strangulation.
If you have nowhere to go, call 211 and ask for a women's shelter.
You need desperately to get into therapy so you don't repeat this self-destructive behavior. If you can't afford it, call your county department of mental health. Go to Al Anon for support. I guarantee you will find lots of other people in your position, and they can help. It only costs a buck for a meeting.
2007-01-04 13:50:44 · answer #2 · answered by boogeywoogy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be very scared, because he has no love for himself and is self destructive with himself, what makes you think he is able to control himself around you? You will never be able to reason with him, because you will be reasoning with the addiction, not him. I wish you all the best, this answer board can be comforting in times like this I am sure, but you need to get help for yourself before you can even understand how to help him. You can't help someone who is not willing to help themselves. Thats the bottom line. I am so glad he has no hurt you, but he will hurt you deeply if he gets in a wreck and either kills himself or someone else. I am not sure how his family life is, but anyone that cares about him at all, and is desperate to help his behavior, I say seek research in an intervention. Plan it, stick to it, and follow through. He may not like it. For those involved with the intervention they know they will be getting their friend, son, boyfriend, uncle etc back.
THANK YOU FOR MY TWO THUMBS DOWN. I ANSWERED THE QUESTION FROM MY HEART AND THOUGHTS. SO THANK YOU FOR WHOEVER GAVE ME THE TWO THUMBS DOWN.
2007-01-04 13:33:08 · answer #3 · answered by hbuckmeister 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you should take it to city corridor and take a verify out to get an order of secure practices. The criminal conflict could be information, the traced telephone bill and the different information you will hit upon and bring it to city corridor to get an order of secure practices. in case you attempt to have her arrested in the previous you get the order of secure practices she ought to turn the area around and function you arrested. I went with the aid of this with my pal. Her boyfriend grew to become into abusing her yet while she referred to as the police they arrested her to. they must hear the two aspects yet while your waiting to get the order of secure practices like my pal did and while her boyfriend made a flow she had him arrested and now he's in penal complex. you desire look after your self as much as you could. and don't respond to any of her antics ( if she calls you cursing do no longer curse back only dangle up something you do could be used against you in court) shop shifting forward and forget approximately it. She appears like a stalker or a psychopath. do no longer have confidence her. Its going to be no longer common yet only shop scuffling with and be very careful.
2016-11-26 19:57:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My help to you is to get out while you can...you have some serious health issues that need to be dealth with NOW being with this man is the worst relationship one can have..you must think of YOU...you have asked this question because you know in your heart its time to get out and thats what you need to do to stay alive..if you value your life do it and do it NOW.......Bless you my friend.......luv kara
2007-01-04 13:33:59 · answer #5 · answered by COOKIE 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get out now!! if you have past experiences of drug abuse, self injury, and eating disorders, you have a greater risk of reverting back to your old habits. your bf's behavior is not acceptable at all, under any circumstances! if he EVER hits or threatens you, i strongly would urge you to get a restaining order.
2007-01-04 13:37:00 · answer #6 · answered by happyinblue 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your first responsibility is for your own health, safety and sanity... even if you absolutely love this person, love isn't enough to overcome some of the obstacles life can toss in our path and potential violence is one of the obstacles... short answer - better be safe than sorry................. we cannot save someone else from themselves, they have to want to do that but we can save ourselves
no person is worth putting yourself in harm's way for - that's the bottom line
2007-01-04 16:46:18 · answer #7 · answered by dornalune 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well today on maury this lady was in love but started getting abused by her husband. then he went to jail and when he got out he stabed her 7 times. so my advise is if hes getting abusive dump him.
2007-01-04 12:55:47 · answer #8 · answered by Jackie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow- this is serious. I suggest talking to a relative or close friend about your problem, since they probably know you, the guy, and your sisuation better.
2007-01-04 12:53:01 · answer #9 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are this worried, then there must be a reason. Move away from him, and take care of your own problems.
2007-01-04 12:49:46 · answer #10 · answered by Beau R 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your instincts tell you hes a bad apple, trust them. You don't want to jeopardize your saftey for him, its just not worth it.....if you really want to make things works confront him....when he is sober
2007-01-04 12:53:59 · answer #11 · answered by gymnast511993 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋