My 2 kids have lots of toys and books, most are given by aunts and uncles- they have 8. This xmas I bought them 3 gifts each and they loved them! However many family members thought it was stingy and mean. A good friend of ours spent $4000 on their unborn baby- clothes, toys..not including nursery furniture. I dont want materialistic children. On their birthday they get 1 gift and choose a place to go out to - the zoo, museum, park, e.t.c... What has happened to people, that they think the amount of presents given to a child is is a measure of their love? Do any parents here feel the same way or does the christmas, birthday- gift giving guilt get you everytime?
2007-01-04 12:42:53 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
you are wise.
spoil them with love and attention, its never too much
limit the gifts to 1% of family's GDP I think
the most valuable gift is love and attention and time
2007-01-04 12:46:08 · answer #1 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 6 children. Me and my husband feel the same way. We do the exact same thing on their birthdays. Get them one gift and let them chose somewhere to go out. Christmas we have a spending limit on there gifts. The only good thing with having 6 daughters(well not the only good thing) is that they can share there toys so it is like they are getting more then they really are.
I was an extremely spoiled teenager. And got everything I wanted. Went to a private school where everyone got everything they wanted. The last thing I wanted for my kids was the feeling they were entitled to anything. My 2 oldest get allowances(mere 5 bucks) but have to earn that money and then they have to put it in the bank...can't even spend it the way they want. Shows them responsibility.
The great thing with doing all that is they find joy in simple things. They aren't cooped up in the house all day with gadgets and go out and play and just be kids. Definitely kids have wayyy to much these days. And things need to change because this is a generation we are creating.
2007-01-04 21:02:54 · answer #2 · answered by flredneckgal_21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think giving your kids too little or too much can only be decided by the parent. Everyone rasies their children different. Many dont over do it cause they want their children to grow up and appreciate what they do have and to understand just cause they want it doesn't meant they have to get it. As far as the person who spent 4000 on their unborn they are just trying to show off and act like they are better because they spent all that money.. First off the more money you spend on a child doesnt make you a better parent , what makes the best parent is the one who give more love than material things . This helps the child have a good balance of love and materialistic things .
My daughter is only 3 and she has alot of toys d but that is because i come from a huge family .. and i always told my family if you insist on getting her something make it educational.. or if they get her a doll or something and want to get her something else it has to be educational.. In my eyes that is more important than her getting a ton of dolls and other things she will only play with 2 times ..
2007-01-04 20:47:17 · answer #3 · answered by Amazing_clarity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is different. I think circumstances contribute to how much a parent gives their child. Mine is an only child, and the only one we can have. So, yes we do spoil her on holidays, way more than we should. But, I refuse to tell people how much we spend. So, I guess I am the opposite of this person who spent the 4000. My family is always asking how much we spent. I don't think it is their business. As long as our bills are paid and we can afford it, there is no harm. Our daughter is old enough now (she is a tween) to realize how much some of her things are. She always says thank you for each thing she gets. (unless she is totally excited and screaming and jumping up and down, then it may take a minute or two... lol) Anyway, we also try to instill in her the meaning of the holidays. Why they are there, how they originated, and that the gifts are second. I guess it is how you bring your kids up. How you interact with them and what you teach them.
2007-01-05 02:20:37 · answer #4 · answered by C B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, Im not a parent. To be honest im just a 14 year old girl working my way through highschool. And I have been very fourtunate to be extremly close to my parents. Both of my parents are divorced and remarried. My brother and I go to our dads on the weekends and moms on weekdays [school convinience]
and I know there are holidays when I can tell that my parents feel guilty for not getting us enough or getting more then 4 things. And I have told my parents several times that they DONT have to feel like they have to. We as a family are blessed everyday with no arguments and fun times together. So to answer your question you shouldnt feel guilty about it because your kids will become "spoiled" if you give them 4000$ worth of stuff every year. I only get 1 present from each parent for my birthday. And for Christmas I get like 10 from each. I dont know. I understand what you are talking about and respect the fact that you want to make your kids happy, but Christmas and birthdays arent just about the gifts. Its spending time with your family and what not.
I know this probably wont help you at all, but I just thought you would maybe want the opinion from a teen. [And Im trying to get out of doing my homework.]
hahaha
2007-01-04 20:52:18 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way. I'm quite religious so for me xmas is about the birth of Jesus than gift giving.
We bought my daughter 1 gift from each of us. with 1 bath toy basket.
She's the first grandchild and got SPOILED by everyone else.
Your doing the right thing.
PLUS We dont have a ton of money to be throwing around, so 1 or 2 modest gifts is all that is needed for a child. AND if you have NO MONEY but make those days SPECIAL to THEM they will LOVE the time spent of gifts recieved.
2007-01-04 20:49:48 · answer #6 · answered by cowsfreak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He who dies with the most toys, are nonetheless dead.
Christmas and birthdays should never be just about gift-giving-and-taking, no matter your religion. It should always be more about spending that extra time, giving that extra attention, and living that moment! This child will have only ONE 8th Birthday. How many Christmas' at 8 will this child have? When they are 16, they are not going to remember what they DIDN'T get; however, they will remember the events. When the teen-years hit they will remember how much you listented, or didn't listened, and from that they will know how understanding you are.
2007-01-05 00:04:15 · answer #7 · answered by spoiledbrat30x3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are doing fine. I have a 9 y/o and a 4m/o and beause of the age difference we may end up spoiling the younger one becasue she now has mom dad and big sis. Also because we are now a little better off financially that we used to be. But with my older daughter we were very careful about what we got her. lots of books, co-ed toys such as dolls and trucks, NEVER any name brand clothing or shoes. Not the expensive brands. Instead of toys we spent money on outings, such as museum, or a day trip to Philly, or NYC or a couple of days in the poconos or DC She has a lot of toys but it was a slow accumulation and we kept our limit to $25-$50 nothing beyond that price range. And for aunts, uncles and grandparents i gave a price limit also.
2007-01-04 22:04:54 · answer #8 · answered by Bb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you can give a child too little, and you can give them too much, too.
It sounds to me like you've got a good head on your shoulders and you are doing a great job at it.
I don't think you're being stingy and mean. If your kids loved what you gave them, then that's all that matters. Your friend is probably very excited if it's her first baby, and has either too much money, or too many nesting hormones. Hopefully she can afford to do what she's doing, and not getting into a bunch or credit card debt for it. That sends the wrong message to our kids.
I think we've forgotten how to use cash and how to teach our children to count, save and budget money. It's always conveniently paid for with a little plastic card.
I think (and pray) that my husband and I have a healthy balance when it comes to providing for our children. We don't deprive them, but they don't have so many toys and "things" around the house that they forget what they have...ie...every single dolly and stuffed animal has it's own name and unique personality. haha
Keep up the good work, and remember you're a good mommy or you wouldn't even be considering issues like this. ;^)
2007-01-04 20:55:00 · answer #9 · answered by mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi I have two kids also and I feel the same way $4ooo is crazy their the ones down the road the kids are going to expect the best and want everything they see. I'm like you a couple of gifts and we have a birthday party about 8-10 kids and that adds up , and that's it . You raise your kids the way you want and can afford and that's all we can do and keep your chin up and try not to worry about anyone else.
2007-01-04 20:52:34 · answer #10 · answered by lisasavage@rogers.com 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find that you are doing the correct thing. I would do the same thing with my children. One of their aunt would send them 1 dollar for every year of their birthday ex if they turn 5 they would get 5 dollars on their birthday along with their birthday cards. spending way too much money on gift isn't a good idea because the way I look at things is that you keep giving them alot of expensive present as they get older they will get demanding and screaming, pouting etc, etc, etc,
2007-01-04 20:49:45 · answer #11 · answered by CADIZDC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋