funny or not?

Question

Things I Hate

1. people who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Dang right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say, while watching a film, "Did you see that?". No, Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the dang floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya, Sunshine?

7. When something is "new and improved!"...Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest dang thing anyone ever experiences!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, idiot ?

10.When a cop pulls you over and says do you know how fast you were going?, you should know you pulled me over

Answer 1

I like it. You should be a guest on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. I'm serious. If your delivery is as good as some of your lines, you'll be great.

Answer 2

Things I Hate

1. people who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

true but wat if sum1 is used to speaking sign language (lol stupid answer)

2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

i always get up to find the remote because theres no point in buying one just to have it get lost, plus my parents will get mad

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Dang right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

thats too true but it means u cant have it ur way all the time

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

i agree with this one the most, its soooo retarded

5. When people say, while watching a film, "Did you see that?". No, Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the dang floor.

hehe i just gotta pay seven dollars

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya, Sunshine?

in cadets we have to ask permission to speak anyway so i usually do that

7. When something is "new and improved!"...Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn't be new.

true

8. When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest dang thing anyone ever experiences!! What can you do that's longer?

wen ppl say life is short they mean u dont live forever so u should try knew things

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, idiot ?

haha thats funny

10.When a cop pulls you over and says do you know how fast you were going?, you should know you pulled me over

true true true true

{the person hoo made this up in the first place sounds very pessimistic lol}

Answer 3

Funny or NOT?
#1 not
#2 funny
#3 funny
#4 funny
#5 funny
#6 funny
#7 not
#8 not
#9 funny
#10 funny but NOT when you see the ticket!

7 out of 10 Hey that's pretty good.
how about some more?????????

Answer 4

These are the best jokes I ever heard of I like the first one. I laughed for 2 minutes!

Answer 5

haha these r funny, i liked number one the best. if u say them like ur chris rock, you'll get a hella lot of laughs.

Answer 6

You are 100% right.

Answer 7

Funny, but sorry, I've heard them all before.

Answer 8

i agree with you. but i also hate when people ask if they can ask you a question not knowing they just did.

Answer 9

funny

Answer 10

very funny