I have friend you yells and cusses at her and her boyfriend's kids. If anybody says anything to her, she gets all defensive. How do I tell her she needs to stop; it obviously doesn't change the kids behaviour. If anything, they act up more.
2007-01-04 12:41:53 · 19 answers · asked by ski 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
This is hard to face, I know as I dealt with my sister with the same issue. What I did with my sister is that I showed her the different results from talking in a lower voice to her children when they acted up. It changed the interactions with her and her husband even. If this does not work, the best thing to do is show her information about types of communication over long periods of time and the relationships that form from them. Then it will have to be up to her.
2007-01-04 12:48:01 · answer #1 · answered by Duane 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friends seems to have some unresolved issues, perhaps you can watch her children twice a month or take her out for lunch and a show. You do need to tell her in a delicate way the way you have observed her manners concerning her children and her boyfriends as well. She should understand that if she continues with this kind of atitude, she will not be gaining anything except getting herself all worked up and causing mental problems for the childrens and herself as well. The children should be treated correctly according to their age group, perhaps she can join a parenting classes, so that she can learn some better way to cope with the children.
2007-01-04 13:06:06 · answer #2 · answered by CADIZDC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A very easy question.......call "child protective services" or "Department of Human Services" If you can't find those in your local phone book, try finding a Battered Womens' Shelter and ask them who to talk to.
Mental abuse is, in a sense worse than the physical abuse..you can get your butt whipped and forget in a little while, that mental thing goes on forever. Do you ever wonder what she does to them when noone is around? You don't have to give your name if you don't want to.
There is a book, an auto-biography, by Dave Pelzer, the name of the book is, "A Child Called It" read this and you will get a whole new perspective on things of this nature.
2007-01-04 13:21:19 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to do this is when you guys are alone shopping...
Bring the subject out occasionally a little by little, and try to understand why she did that first... maybe that's how she believe it will help the kids and plus the bf let her do that... that makes her believe of that idea more...
Then if she do think she do have a problems and need help, then give suggestion...
It need time and patient to understand and changes someone believe... good luck!
2007-01-04 12:51:59 · answer #4 · answered by Jo Jo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trying to tell her she is "wrong" probably isn't the best way to get her to be responsive...Why not buy her a book about parenting and ways to really get results when kids act up...come to her with it in a supportive way...Like "I see you getting so frustrated when they don't listen and I would love to see you being able to get them to listen better so you can deal with them more calmly...I thought this book might help you guys...I just don't like seeing you getting so upset. These are wonderful years and I would hate to see you miss out on these years with your kids!"
Personally, I would take that as a helpful friend trying to give me a good alternative to yelling WITH a benefit...ideas in the book to get better behavior from the kids.
2007-01-04 12:54:07 · answer #5 · answered by just me 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Treat and talk to her the same way she does with them. I think she might get the message. Leaving this could mean serious issues for the kids when they are older. In the end she is not the one who will get hurt the most - those kids will!
2007-01-04 12:45:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a tough one..you are right though her behaviour will not change what the kids do...ask her if she ever watched the show super nanny..tell her its a great show and her ideas make alot of sense and that you['ll use them when u can
2007-01-04 13:06:53 · answer #7 · answered by diane b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly the best thing to do is stay out of it, cause no one likes to be told they are raising their children wrong and with that you may also lose a friend. For she will be very angry, you see she gets defensive with others for speaking to her about it.
2007-01-04 12:43:57 · answer #8 · answered by Amazing_clarity 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Model a more appropriate behavoir around her.
That's about the best you can do to help her see how's she's acting.
2007-01-04 12:45:50 · answer #9 · answered by Jilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tape her on a tape recorder, and play it back in a surprise visit or after she does it
this will wake her up quick and she wont believe she was so rude
this will change her whole attitude
2007-01-04 12:44:38 · answer #10 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋