My husband and I have a great mirrage but he is always gone on his trips for his job, i mean he makes good money but im started to feel like my two year old is forgetting who his father is, when my husband comes home for three days my little boy will not touch him or give him hugs, when his father trys to he screams for me, and i feel so bad for my husband because he is hurting inside and he doesn't know what to do, How am i suppose to tell my son to understand that his daddy is right there and he doesn't have to be afaird, is it something im doing? am not talking about my husband infront of him to much what am i doing wrong?
2007-01-04 12:24:16 · 15 answers · asked by a tired mommy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
get some pictures of your husband and have them around, at night you guys can look at one and say "goodnight Daddy" to it. totally talk more about him. when he does come home let dad be the good guy with treats and toys and maybe not really dicsiplining him till he isnt so scared. good luck :) !
2007-01-04 12:26:29 · answer #1 · answered by smokingstonersweetheart 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It's because his father is gone too much. There are a few things to do. First, when your husband is home, show your son that you love your husband. Hug your husband a lot and your son will understand that this man is someone that mommy loves. Your husband needs to take as much time as possible to bond with his son. Do some VERY special things with him. Go to a pet store or a zoo and look at animals or other things that will create specials memories for your son. These memories will be stronger and he won't forget daddy easily when he goes away. Of course the best thing to do is make movies. Make sure that you talk about his daddy a lot when he is gone. Also show him pictures and movies of him and his father together. It may take a little time, but it'll work out.
2007-01-05 00:38:03 · answer #2 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your son is upset that he does not see him on a regular basis, and because he is so young, this is the only way he can express himself. Perhaps your husband should not expect affection right away, and should allow your son to come to him when he is ready. From my personal experience, I never had issues with Dad, but I did with Uncles. They wanted immediate responses, and at 2, both of my kids would cry and pull back. The Uncles that were more cautious and paid attention to how my kids were responding eventually got some affection, when the kids were ready.
Also, does your husband have a beard or moustache? Both of my kids used to cry and be frightened by facial hair!
Is your husband good with your son, IE, does he read to him, cuddle him if he is hurt, bathe him, feed him? If he is not that involved, and then comes on too strong, I can see how that would make a two year old want to run and hide.
Both my kids have grown out of this problem by the time they were 3, so hopefully your son will grow out of this too. Your husband needs to be patient, and to understand and accept this stage in the child's development.
In the meantime, when your husband is away, have a picture book that your son can look at regularly with several photos of father and son together, talk on the phone to Dad every day, perhaps twice a day if he has time, and also look through photo albums with pictures of you and your husband together.
2007-01-04 20:41:11 · answer #3 · answered by lawpmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Little kids are funny like that. It is not uncommon for them to detach. They do it to protect themselves. If he allows himself to open up to your husband when he is there, then when he leaves, your son will be hurt and miss him. So they close up so they don't have to feel that pain. The same thing would probably happen if you left your son for a day (not in daycare, but in an unfamiliar place). When you came back he would act detached to you. Maybe not scream and yell, but act like he can't be bothered. The difference is, he would get over it with you. He probably doesn't get over it with your husband because he's in and out all the time. I think he'll grow out of it. But in the meantime try to talk about his daddy a lot and show him pictures of the tow of them or the three of you together. Good luck.
2007-01-04 20:31:48 · answer #4 · answered by Rairia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a good idea, to have activities together go for a walk, play together, than your son will feel safe, he will see you with your husband and learn that you are very close, than he will imitate you,and also trust his daddy. Also when daddy is away, show your son his daddy's picture, tell him about his daddy when he is away, that daddy loves him very much etc. And daddy needs to make an effort, not give in when his son doesn't let him close at first, he has to stick around whenever he is home, take him out for a walk, and play with him, gradually getting closer, until he can take him in his arms, change diapers, bathe him etc. Out of my own experience I know, that daddies need to do these things to bond with their child. You ladies are 9 months ahead of us. Unfortunately many daddies are afraid to be close when the children are very young. Encourage your husband to share in the care for the little one, let him actively take part. Your son will love him deeply.
2007-01-04 21:01:13 · answer #5 · answered by Ahugreycat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because the father does not have a day to day loving bond with the child.
that bond is very important the first 3 yrs of life.
the father should stop taking trips immediately and spend the next year building a good bond with son.
buy some building blocks, leggo logs or just get the father and son on the computer on games like spongebob.
2007-01-04 20:29:26 · answer #6 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say this and i am not exaggerating, but your son is spoiled, he is a mama's boy, and i have seen this happen all the time, i bet your son spends the whole day with you, he doesn't see other people and i also bet that your son does not freak out only with your husband, he freaks out with anyone that comes close that is not you, so explain to your husband that is nothing personal that your son does it to everyone and just to be patient and obviously not to feel bad about the situation, and that the one and only solution here is for your husband to spend more time with his son.
2007-01-04 21:17:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down. Give him a little piece of candy. Tell him that man that comes here everyday is your daddy. Ask him why he is soo afraid. Tell him how nice your husband is.
2007-01-04 20:28:29 · answer #8 · answered by SenlenaHorris18 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not doing anything thing wrong try to arrange activities for them to do together while he is home and if his job requires a laptop get a web cam and when he is away your son can still see him on the computer and talk to him on the phone.
2007-01-04 20:28:16 · answer #9 · answered by trace862004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing your kid just doesnt know his daddy cause he's gone so much. i suggest getting two web cams so when your husbands gone your son can talk to him and get to know him. that way he looks forward to his dad coming home instead of running
2007-01-04 20:27:38 · answer #10 · answered by Lg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋