my fiance and i have been dating for 3 years.. we are very much in love... but... recently he seems to be distencing hisself from me.. i finally got my license and now i can see him a lot more but ive had them for 3 weeks now and ive only seen him 3 times. he was supposed to come over for new years but wanted to stay home instead.. i wanted to do something with him on wednessday but he wanted to do something with his brother, i worked today and tomorrow, we are supposed to be doing something on saturday! but im afraid that he will say he doesnt want to or something... and when ever we talk i just get so nervouse im afraid hes gonna break up with me! but then we talk just fine and i stop feeling nervouse and we say i love you before hanging up the phone! i dont know these are normal feelings after taking a big step in a relationship or if its a gut feeling that shouldnt be ignored? please help me and give advise or tips to help me to not be so scared when we talk! thanks
2007-01-04 11:55:58 · 14 answers · asked by elf 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Insecurity is poision for a relationship. Put it this way you cannot control someone elses feelings, all you can do is give your best to the relationship and hope he does the same.
Good luck.
2007-01-04 12:10:16 · answer #1 · answered by olivia m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he needs some space. If you've been dating for 3 years, you might know him better than you think. So take a breath, and give him a couple of days to stretch his legs. He's not going to run away from you. He just needs a little air.
Maybe you can hook up with some girlfriends at the same time, have a girls' night out, rent all of the "chick flicks" he never wants to see and cry your eyes out over popcorn, or take a weekend trip with your best friend and spend the day at a spa.
When it comes right down to it, I'll bet you could use some fresh air, too. Give yourself a break. Have some girl fun.
2007-01-04 12:07:50 · answer #2 · answered by KD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 3 years and you are still afraid to talk the big stuff maybe he is not for you. If the indending marriage is close and you don't see him very often the it sounds like there could be another objest in the way. I would ask straight out if he is in love with you why you are so far apart in the relationship. He should want to be with you a lot more often. But don't put out just to be with him. That does no good to you. Good luck.
2007-01-04 12:02:23 · answer #3 · answered by Laurie P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, your really need to start having a little more positive thoughts, and stop being so negative. Also, if you're having these feelings, don't you think that by simply asking him if something is wrong, or just explaining your feelings might make the situation much clearer? Be a little more open, and be open to every type of answer, even one that you may not like. Good luck
2007-01-04 12:03:44 · answer #4 · answered by Suzie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not trying to scare you, but it sounds like he really doesn't want to spend time with you. It also sounds like he might be seeing someone on the side. See, he doesn't want to meet up with you because he probably feels guilty. I think that one big test might be in the sex. Is it any different? You really need to just tell him how you feel. Be clear and say how he has been treating you. Don't bend over backwards because you don't want him to break up with you. If thats what he wants, then its inevitable. Don't delay what is bound to happen. Get down to getting answers ASAP
2007-01-04 12:02:51 · answer #5 · answered by Noah's Mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look you can't be joined at the hip all the time. Men need to have some time to themselves to work out the man things. It has nothing to do with you and if you push too hard for his attention before he has his time.....you will loose him. He will come back just give him the time.
2007-01-04 11:59:33 · answer #6 · answered by Snicklefritz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be going through those couple ''problems'' where suddenly he looks at you like any girl that pasts him. Like you're just outta his mind. Trust me this is normal. Many couples face this. You have to go talk to him and clear the tension. He must feel nervous about this whole thing and he doesnt want to tell you about it and is trying to avoid it.
2007-01-04 12:02:30 · answer #7 · answered by Alaska 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always say the best way is to come right out and ask him what's going on. Tell him how you feel. Give him some space. Don't call him let him call you. etc.
2007-01-04 12:01:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him space. Don't press the issue. Don't call him. Let him call you. Guys just need space sometimes. After 2 weeks, if you are still getting those vibes, ask us again.
2007-01-04 11:59:43 · answer #9 · answered by ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry but we dont no u that much to help u out..........there is many souloions but it only works for some ppl...my first instinct was he is nervous about spending his life with u that he iz tryin to be single for a while, or , he is cheating....but thats just me
2007-01-04 12:00:44 · answer #10 · answered by URworstNITEmare 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋