Im 21 and he's 22. We've had our problems in the past and 2 years ago I stupidly cheated on him which I confessed to in the following days. I know this doesn't make up for what I did but I realise how much it would affect everything and evertone if I kept it hidden. After a few bumpy days he decided to stick by me. Ever since then he hasn't been able to trust me and the love has gone way down, which he's only just told me. Now he doesn't know if he wants me or not. I love him with everything I am and learned from my silly mistakes. He can't decide what he wants, I don't know if it would just be easier to end it myself even tho I know it'd hurt so bad. Any advice???
2007-01-04 11:45:07 · 27 answers · asked by fluffybunni12o 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is your own fault..if he wants to finish with you then just let him..if he doesnt trust you then there is no relationship..there must have been something wrong in the first place for you to do that to him.
2007-01-04 12:38:52 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he finally came to the reality that he can't get over the fact that you cheated on him. He probably randomly remembers what you did to him. He is contemplating being with you because he can't let go of the fact that you were disloyal. If I were you and a guy told me he wasn't sure if he wanted me, i would definately back off. No matter what, don't let a guy know he has you like that. Even if you made bad mistakes, you also have a say so in the relationship. You can't spend the rest of your life paying for what happened in the past. I say you guys need a break. be clear on the conditions of the break. You guys need time away from each other to think things out.
2007-01-04 19:51:54 · answer #2 · answered by Noah's Mommy 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, you should end it - it is always easier if you make the positive decision as opposed to getting dumped. But you have to be rock solid in your determination and move on, never look back. It will hurt like hell but be best for you in the long run.
Next time be faithful, if it was me I'd have dumped you on the spot. Once the bond of trust is broken it never mends, everyone can make a mistake but on this topic there are no second chances.
2007-01-08 12:12:11 · answer #3 · answered by 31Alpha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Silly mistake? That was a MAJOR MISTAKE! Maybe you did learn from it but you can't make somebody forgive you. As for the trust thing......that has to be earned and it takes a couple more than 2 years after something like that. Sounds to me like he does not forgive you or trust you and sounds like he wants to go "test the waters" for a more faithful woman. I would ask him if he thinks it is possible for the two of you to get through this TOGETHER. If he says no then move on.
2007-01-04 19:54:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know I'm sounding a bit like I'm on my high horse but seriously what did you expect. How could he trust you and why did you do it? You obviously didn't really love him if you cheated on him. It hurts really bad to have a partner sleep with someone else, I couldn't stop picturing it and it really freaked me out. It wasn't just a silly mistake, it cost you your relationship. I think you should let him decide, ask him if he wants to split up, if he says yes then just let him go. I know you admitted it afterwards and you are sorry, but if you did it once then he probably thinks what would stop you doing it again, it aint nice!
2007-01-04 19:54:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wow. You guys must be the slowest thinkers in the world. It took 2 years to figure out that it wasn't going to work? It would have taken me 2 seconds to leave your cheating a*ss if I was your boyfriend.
He doesn't trust you, and he is in the right. He should have dumped your a*ss 2 years ago and moved on. What a fu*cking waste of time. You both wasted possibly the best years of your life on a bad relationship that should have ended 2 years ago.
2007-01-04 19:55:34 · answer #6 · answered by Sax M 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i know its a horrible situation to be in.....ive been in a simmilar place with my boyfriend.
After 4 years together, he may just be afraid about the future. 4 years is a long time for a young man of 22, and he may be having a little 20s crisis.......he is probably just confused about where his life is going.
the best thing for both of you would be to have a little break from eachother. you both need to realise what you want from this relationship, and you cant do this when one or both of you is so confused. just take a few weeks apart from eachother....dont go out with anyone else, just take some time to yourselves to sort out what you both want. after a couple of weeks of thinking and being with your friends, you will hopefully have an idea of where you can go from here.
i hope you can sort it out! all the best xxxxxx
2007-01-04 19:53:53 · answer #7 · answered by fifs_c 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Buy and read these two books, both by Greg Behrendt.
He's Just Not That Into You
and
It's Called a Break-up Because It's Broken
WONDERFUL books that will help you see what needs to be done.
2007-01-04 19:47:39 · answer #8 · answered by kristikclark 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Give him space. You've got a lot of work ahead of you to regain that trust. Be patient with him. Being cheated on is probably one of the worst emotional pains a person can go through.
If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
Good luck.
2007-01-04 19:49:05 · answer #9 · answered by kmc_19 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Give him space,you might need to spend time apart,its hard when the trust thing goes-but we all make mistakes,its part and parcel of life.Once he has had time to think,he might realise he wants to be with you,if he doesn't,then unfortunately you will need to move on.This might have happened without you cheating,so don't beat yourself up for something you did 2 years ago.take care,i hope it all works out
2007-01-04 19:56:14 · answer #10 · answered by NATALIE W 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋