I constantly feel like I'm walking on egg shell's with my husband. He has a very short circuit with his temper

Question

My husband can be a good person but his temper scares me.Is it anger or could he be bipolar?

Answer 1

Has he always been this way? He could have physical or mental or emotional problems. When is the last time he had a thorough physical examination by a doctor?

Your husband may need anger management classes. Many counseling centers offer these, and some have sliding-scale fees according to your income.

But most people with anger problems have to be court-ordered to attend these classes, as they are often in denial and oblivious to the fact that their angry outbursts are hurting other people.

Marriage counseling through a church or other agency is adviseable, as his anger problem is causing deterioration in your communications in your marriage, which means your marriage is already in trouble.

Nobody should have to live with daily tension and fear of upsetting your partner. If your husband refuses to get a medical evaulation and to obtain counseling, he probably will never change and I would get out of the relationship, rather than suffer needlessly,
for your love will not make him change.

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

Depends. Bipolar would also mean he has episodes of happiness and low periods. You didn't mention that. He may be just a grouch, he may have life issues he won't talk about, hormone changes, health problems, many things. If he is explosive I would tell him to get help. There is no reason for you to live with his temper. Ask him what is wrong and what you can do. If he is persistent maybe talk to your pastor or a good friend or someone he is close to and ask them to help. Has he lost a parent or a friend or anything lately? Maybe you could plan a get away for just the two of you and try to get him to open up. My hubby gets this way from time to time and it's really about his job. I know that and I stay at a distance until he's ready to talk about it. I always support whatever he wants to do as far as work goes too. So, I hope it gets better. You have to try something.

Answer 3

There is an good book out that deals with both issues called, "coming to our senses" by
Jon Kabat-Zinn.

And also a Very Excellent book out on anger, and the alternatives and solutions to anger, called "Working with Anger" It also covers how to develop successful relationships, how to take corrective criticism correctly, how to successfully forgive; to stop playing the blame game(he might be blaming you alot for all of his unwholesome behavior), it teaches so many excellent techniques for success. And best of all, she - the author is not critical or judgmental toward anyone who gets really angry, irritable or impatient, but is very compassionate, encouraging, and uplifting. The book is very motivational to. Keeps a person motivated to walk soundly in the techniques and alternatives to anger. Anyway, trust me please - these two books I have suggest, especially the second, are most excellent.
And I am not either of these authors. These books have helped me so....very much over the years. I still, for encoragement when I occasionally think or feel irritated inside, refer back to these books.

Best of luck to you.

From someone who understands, and cares.

Answer 4

A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is still a rude person. Do you understand that? Your husband being a good person is irrelevant, he has anger issues and this doesn't make him a good person. He needs anger management classes.

The fact his anger scares you is enough to realize it's a problem. You need to put your foot down and request he control it and seek classes. If you do suspect bipolar, then have him checked by a doctor. But regardless, he needs to make an effort to control it. If he decides not to seek help, then you have two options...one is to stay but you should never complain about it again. Afterall, it's your choice to stay. The other is to obviously leave. When a person fails to help themselves with their actions, this is beyond your control. Therefore, you CAN only control your own actions and this is exactly what you need to do.

Answer 5

Maybe your hubbie needs anger management?

Some people just get angry easier than others. But if his anger gets violent or out of control, I suggest him seeing a doctor.

The term anger management commonly refers to a system of psychological therapeutic techniques and exercises by which someone with excessive or uncontrollable anger can control or reduce the triggers, degrees, and effects of an angered emotional state. Typical anger management "techniques" are the use of deep breathing and meditation as a means to relaxation. As the issue of anger varies from person to person, the treatments are designed to be personal to the individual.

Anger can aggravate several mental health problems. Anger can fuel depression, which makes a person feel as if they are enveloped in a dark cloud for a very long time. People who are depressed generally don’t take care of themselves and they may not bother to eat properly, dress smartly or work efficiently. They indulge in self-destructive activities, such as too much drinking, smoking, overeating, taking risks, and not watching their finances. Depressed people have less energy, reduced appetite, and need more sleep.

IF ANGER MANAGEMENT IS WAY TOO EXPENSIVE:
Tell your husband to take up kickboxing. It'll help realese(sp?) anger. Or buy your husband a soft, palm-sized ball (a stress ball). Just go to the toy section in a retail store to get it. Whenever he gets angry, he should breathe deeply and squeeze the ball.

I hope your husband cooperates. Good luck.

Answer 6

A licensed physician is the only one that is qualified to diagnose a bipolar condition.

Communication is key. That means both of you. In a calm non- threatening environment. And both of you must be open to hearing what truly is bothering both parties before any resolution can be achieved, objectively. Then the next step is coming to terms with a mutual resolution.

Answer 7

a pal it truly is a habit professional and has a Ph.D instructed me once that what the guy has to do is go away - even as they blow merely go away - it extremely works too - bypass see a movie or visit a pal once you come 4 or 6 hours later their habit will be a lot extra effective. She also instructed me of this married couple that the spouse merely says "i am going to the coastline for some weeks and after I go back i am going to allow you to already know if this marriage is going to very last" looks she does this even as he blows up and the visits to the coastline have change into fewer and farther aside.

Answer 8

Sounds like it could be bipolar. I suppose you would be scared to approach him about it, maybe you have a mutual good friend that could do it for you. If it is going to continue, you marriage is not going to be a happy one.
Too bad you couldn't get him to go with you to counseling.
It's not good for you to have to walk on egg shells and could end what could be a very happy and contented marriage.

Answer 9

Maybe he needs to take some anger management classes..
Has he been diagnosed by a DR?
I do not know if he is bi-polar, but he does need to seek professional help before his anger gets worse and turns to physical abuse!!
Verbal abuse us hard enough to deal with.......

Answer 10

Ask your husband to seek help. Support him in the effort. If he doesn't be prepared to leave for a while so he understands that if things don't change that you will not be there to be victimized.