Is this normal?

Question

I have a boyfriend and we are 15. But he doesn't really like affection, so we've been going out eight months and we've only hugged twice, once at a school event and once at church. We've never kissed. But the kissing is okay I don't really want to do that yet. But we've only held hands once, and I had to grab his hand. We don't hang out outside of school or anything. We don't even talk on the phone, only on the Internet. But he constantly says he loves me, and once when he thought I broke up with him he was really upset. So what's up with that? Is this normal? I'm so confused. Please help.

Also, usually people I've just met say things like "I had no idea you were going out!" and "He has a girlfriend?" because of the circumstances. Nobody except our friends has any idea we're going out because it really doesn't seem like it. Those who do know usually assume we've broken up and are shocked to learn otherwise.

Answer 1

I think it is probably normal at this age. Maybe he is not very confident in showing affection because he's afraid he will look foolish or stupid. Perhaps he comes from a family where affection was not expressed on a regular basis. It could be that he's just not sure what is expected of him, so he does nothing (just to be safe). Thinking back to when I was your age (which is about 15 years ago), expressing physical affection to a person you liked was kind of a big deal, and it wasn't done very often. (I too had a guy friend whom I hung out with; he was very interested in our friendship, but we never kissed, hugged or held hands; we were 14-15 at the time.) Don't worry, things will "fall into place" eventually. Enjoy life and have fun.

Answer 2

You are 15. He is 15. It is the time for confusion. Maybe he is confused about the way to doing those things. Maybe he is scared of your reaction if he was to take one of those steps.

You said you 2 go to church. Perhaps he is trying to do things the way he feels that God wants them to be done so there will be no temptation.

My answer is yes it is normal. If you want him to hug you or hold your hand more often, talk to him about it. If emailing is the way you 2 communicate, let him know that you would also like to have a face-to-face conversation with him.

Answer 3

While you both are very young and should go slow , I do think your so-called BF has issues. He sounds very unsure and immature even for his age. If want to start going out on dates maybe he's not the one. You might have to just look somewhere else. One thing is for sure, you're too young to be in love. You need to meet and go out with different boys as well as just in girl groups so you can comparison shop (as it were). Go to places where the young people in your community hang out, school clubs,dances and sporting events malls, book stores, movie theaters, video arcades, etc.... Take your time and remember...you have your whole life ahead of you don't tie your self down with just one person at such a young age.

Answer 4

Although I have just left my dreadful year as a fifteen year old. I find that fifteen year olds shouldn't really touch or be too affectionate. But apparently my opinions do not count. Just be upfront and ask the boy if he really wants to take the relationship a step further and actually act like a couple or just be friends. I mean, you like this guy and you should do something about it! Even if it doesn't turn out in the way you like it!

Answer 5

You're confused?! How do you think he feels?!

Look, don't expect your relationship to go like you see on those stupid TV shows. You guys are only 15. What the rush to want to kiss and hold hands and all that affectionate mess?

You're young, enjoy it and take your time with relationships. The last thing you want to do is rush something and end up pregnant.

You think you're confused now? How confused will you be if that happens?

Answer 6

Well, he's probably afraid to make that move. I know I am, I went two whole movies next to the girl I liked without trying to hold her hand or put my arm around her. If he's a shy person then he's definitely afraid. Now, y'all don't talk on the phone at all? break the ice with him and call him to tell him goodnight. He'd probably like that.

Answer 7

It seems like it would be easier to type your feelings to someone than it would be to say them to their face. Try not talking on the Internet so much and hang out in person more. Boys are dumb, they don't take suttle hints well, so TELL him that you need more affection from him. If that doesn't work then he's a bump on a log and you don't need him anyways.

Answer 8

This relationship is strange - you only talk on the internet and at school - Why can't you hang out out side of these...are you allowed to have a boyfriend? I think you will have a better friendship if you hang out more and talk more.

Answer 9

What you spot on accepted, is what's accepted. celebration: in case you spot someone hiccuping that consistently accepted yet when its nonstop for days or months, it truly is likely not accepted. also if someone change into born with something like six hands on each hand might want to not look accepted to us inspite of the indisputable fact that it truly is accepted to that human being. So each so often it truly is a human being component that no human being else will comprehend.

Answer 10

Why don't you just ask him why he doesn't hold your hand or hug you? Are you getting your needs meet? Tell him how you feel. Being open in a relationship is key to making it work. Good luck and I hope it all turns out ok for you.