i have a 3 year old daughter and seriously she is the most stuborn girl alive!! i think i have done a pretty decent job in the sense of not spoiling her. but it seems like she wants more cause she doesnt get all this stuff. her grandparents seem like they wouldnt go against my wishes. what should i do to deal with her acting out when she doesnt get what she wants???
2007-01-04 10:54:53 · 13 answers · asked by Mary 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
When my kids and myself were that age, we all acted like that. And it seems cliche, but she will grow out of it. Now my kids are straight a students and have good work ethics.
2007-01-04 10:57:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to hang in there....don't raise your voice because that will only show her that is okay. Remain calm but firm even if it takes time. She will soon learn that you can not be pushed around. I don't believe spanking is going to do the trick....instilling fear in a child by hitting them to behave does not work. I never had to raise a hand to my children...call me blessed or very lucky, maybe both. My children are now in their late teens and I can only say the worst they have given me is a bit of attitude and really I only had to look at them and ask what their problem was and god forbid they have a problem so things usually resolved quietly. The key is communication without yelling and you definitely don't need to use physical discipline. The most you may have to do is take a favourite toy away, the TV...whatever if the behaviour remains the issue. It may not be stuff that she wants but attention she wants. When your child begins to act out maybe you could suggest she could do a big favour for you, like helping you tidy something (so what if you have to go over it again anyways) and then after maybe you will have time for a game. It may be just be a case of involving her in something more where she is helping you rather than you helping her. Seems to be the age where they like to show their independence anyways! Good luck and all the best with the Joys of Parenthood!
2007-01-04 19:16:40 · answer #2 · answered by timeless_echo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can't control the grandparents, and that isn't really affecting her behavior. You can control her behavior with you. I am guessing she throws temper tantrums with you in the stores and at home. If you ignore them they will go away. You should first of all never give in to her demands. When she throws a temper tantrum you can react in a few ways.
1) I leave her there or let her follow you while screaming. Make sure you let her know her behavior is unacceptable and then pay it no more attention.
2) Remove her from the situation, bring her to the car or send her to her room and let her have her temper tantrum in private, remove any attention she would get.
3) give her a good swat on the bottom, and then use either of the two previous items.
The stubbornness is a control and attention issue. you have to let her know it is you in charge and she will not get what she wants from that behavior. She will change with you and you can still give the grand parents the joy of spoiling her.
2007-01-04 19:10:20 · answer #3 · answered by higg1966 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is easy for people to say that she will grow out of it and she WILL but in the mean time I know that it is impossible to just sit there and wait.I am a mom of seven, with one on the way. I have three kids around your daughters age 5,3 and 1 my 5 yr old son has just grown out of this phase and my 3yrold is starting to act up in the same way so believe me I know how you feel.
There are only two ways to deal with it and they are time outs and spanking. The function of the spanking with a child so young is obviously not to hurt her but to embarrass her and to show her who the boss is.
Right now she is acting out to get what she wants, when she does this you must immediatley put her in time out for three minutes...no warning is necessary she already knows it is bad behaviour,if she does the time out and you get an apology,problem solved. However if after three attempts of doing the time out warn her that she will get a spanking if she persists to resist,pull down her panties and spank her three times. Repeat if behaviour continues. If all else fails put her to bed. I have a cot in my house that they cannot climb out of and if they are put to bed early that is where they sleep.
Stay strong,it shouldn't last much longer than a couple of months and I promise all of these techniques will work.
2007-01-04 19:10:37 · answer #4 · answered by strictmom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, welcome to having kids. They are not little adults. A 3 year old is not a great listener,still too little. Get used to repeating yourself and enforcing consequences. Do not be manipulated by tantrums. You have to start now being patient and making the rules, and never failing to enforce them. It is a lot of work, but will pay off later. Start now before you have a monster on your hands. You have to understand that this is a growth PROCESS and will take time and diligence.
2007-01-04 19:03:23 · answer #5 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have 3 kids, ages, 4, 3 and 11 months.... My boys always throws these little fits with me when they don't get what they want and most of the time, i will get down to thier level and toss about like they do... cuz when mom says NO.. Mom means NO !!!
2007-01-04 19:23:02 · answer #6 · answered by crazy2have3kids 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore her fits. She wants the attention she'll get from behaving that way. Just like a two year old with a tantrum ignore it, just walk away. She won't get what she's looking for and it will stop eventually.
2007-01-04 19:04:34 · answer #7 · answered by pnutallergymom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, this is NOTHING to do with the way you have raised her and EVERYTHING to do with the way a child's brain is developing.
She is just wanting things you know she doesn't need, but despite what you think, she doesn't know that she doesn't need, her brain is still on the 'I see it, so I want it' level.
Just remember that it will be over soon. Yes, there'll be plenty of tears and tantrums first, but she'll learn it soon.
Good luck!
2007-01-04 19:10:18 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time out 1 minute for each year in age.
If time out is not working a good spanking will help also.
2007-01-04 20:47:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you let her. just ignore her, i know it sounds mean, but in a way its really not.send her to her room. take away the extra toys and only leave the things she really needs in her room.
and try to tell her that she is a lucky girl, alot of little girls just lik her would love to have all the things she has. i know she is only 3. but if she is smart enough to do all that.
2007-01-04 19:04:56 · answer #10 · answered by yummy_20032001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋