my friends, tom & tam are a couple. we were invlolved in a 3some a couple weeks back after a night of drinking. last wknd i was with them again at a party, later tom was hitting on me after a night of drinking. he basically confessed his love & attraction to me. i thought it had something to do with the past "activities" between us & because he was drunk i just blew him off. but he wouldnt stop touching me and trying to be with me and of course i really didnt mind. it sorta felt like it was ok. i did tell him stop many times but we ended up making out and touching eachother. no sex! anyhow i fell asleep on the floor and tom was by my side...tammy walks in from her bedroom & wakes him up. i was asleep but i could hear what was going on. thank god i thought,but he came back & told me somethng in my ear. tam comes back & they have this argument. i left. i dont really think she saw anything but, they are breaking up. i feel terrible. i tried to call her but she wont call me back!
2007-01-04 10:41:59 · 20 answers · asked by nodramafor2007 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
thanks all...i am ashamed of what i did. I am very sorry and all i can do is learn from this and ask for her forgiveness. I will formally apologize to her. i cant believe i would do such a stupid thing, i think i need some help & will look into these boundary issues of mine. i feel like such a bad person. i know i have lost her as a friend and hopefully she will forgive me one day.
2007-01-04 11:04:58 · update #1
you know she really didnt see anything. she just saw him passed out on the floor by me. you all just really know what happened. i'm not excusing my behavior & i feel like sh*t.
2007-01-04 11:23:25 · update #2
yes you are to blame. you knew he was with a friend and you still allowed the advances. regardless that you had the threesome earlyer, this was a differant event. he was drunk and impaired. you had the ability and the responsibility to say stop and LEAVE.
2007-01-04 10:49:32 · answer #1 · answered by Erik N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, all three of you are at fault. Tam for agreeing to do the threesome in the first place when everybody knows there are generally repurcussions for that. Tom for pushing the threesome and continuing to hit on you after the fact, and finally you are also at fault for being a party to the threesome and opening the door to what is happening now. You would be doing the right thing to distance yourself from Tom now and admit the mistake. And if he dumps Tam, I would say you should steer clear of him more than ever unless you do not care about your friendship with Tam. If you could care less about that, then go for it. Just be sure to use your head and do not put yourself into a compromising position again. Learn from the mistake.
2007-01-04 18:50:41 · answer #2 · answered by Jaybo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can see why this is hard for you being that they were obviously interested in involving 3 in their sexual relationship, but apparently tam is upset because the "3" now turned to "2" and if she's not apart of the 3 then she's jealous and untrusting of tom. In truth, it is really Tom's fault, but yes, the scenario that night that caused the break-up. I would say, stay away from Tom.
2007-01-04 19:00:12 · answer #3 · answered by asusi9 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an easy one, Yes, you did cause the break up, he did too.
Of course,Tam is your friend, and even though you had a threesome,earlier, it doesn't mean that she gave you permission for you two, to do it on your own.
As you didn't tell him to stop, when you should have, you have to accept some of the blame. You did your friend badly, and should be ashamed of yourself.
It seems that you have no self control. Both of you, did her wrong. There is no way, she'll want you as a friend now, as her trust in you, was proven wrong.
2007-01-04 18:49:43 · answer #4 · answered by johnb693 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you knew better, but you went on ahead and broke Tammys trust. Just because you are involved with a threesome once (doing it drunk is never a good idea) doesn't give you any right to move in without the other party involved. There are issues btwn tom and tammy that needed to be resolved but never happened.
So you need to fomrally apologize and remove yourself from their life. If you ever do decide to participate in another threesome, set rules and follow them.
2007-01-04 18:47:30 · answer #5 · answered by Pandora 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends don't hurt friends.Drunkenesss is a serious problem your liable to get tangled into something that you'll later regret or become very much ashamed by your actions.If you claim to be Tam's friend why would you even engage in a threesome with her and Tom?Well we all have done something foolish at one time or another in our lives.Maybe one day you will want to consider a change in your unhealthy activities(threesomes,drinking)
2007-01-04 18:48:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was it cold on the trailer's floor, cause I am sure those things dont have underfloor heating. You should all ask God for forgiveness and sort your lives out. Taking something that is so special between a man and a woman, and making it into some cheap 'activity'
2007-01-04 19:15:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see that you are the blame for the break up. They obviously were not ready for a 3some. It is a situation that the blame is split 3 ways. I would lean more towards them for inviting you to be part of the 3some.
2007-01-04 18:46:39 · answer #8 · answered by donnabellekc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's sort of sickening, the three people sex thing.
Try to be a little more sincere when it comes to being in an intimate situation with someone. Don't just have sex :)
2007-01-04 18:47:06 · answer #9 · answered by carrington 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry, but yes you should hav stopped him or told your friend you should have stopped it all 3 weeks ago
you might have lost your friend, Tam's, trust and friendship
PS i don't think you should hav posted this on the internet isn't this kinda suppose to be a secrect or just post without using names or connection to yourself
2007-01-04 18:50:26 · answer #10 · answered by 100%angelic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋