How do I write on my wedding invitations that we don't want gifts but money instead?

Question

It's not that we don't want them it's just that we don't have a house of our own yet, and we are not getting one anytime soon, so we have no place to put all this stuff.

Answer 1

I understand how you feel; but, there is no good way to do this.

Answer 2

You don't if you have any class. My cousin tried to with some cutesy poem and everyone bitched about it behind her back. I got a lot of cash gifts for my wedding, and here's how I did it. No gift registry. Make sure my parents are aware of my desire for money, so those who ask them know but I'm not directly asking for money. Anyone who asked me what I wanted, I generally ended up having the following conversation with. Them - What would you like as a wedding present? Me - I'm sure whatever you get me would be lovely. Them - Well is there anything you need? Me - To be honest not really, we've been living together 2 years! Them - Mind if I just write you a cheque?

Answer 3

Eek! Miss Manners and I are appalled that you would suggest such a thing.

It would be most polite to just sit back and let people gift you with whatever they choose to. Then send all your thank you notes right away as each gift arrives.

It is RUDE to mention gift suggestions in ANY way in your invitations, even if it is to state that you prefer not to receive any. It's EXTREMELY rude to ask for money gifts.

If you do not want to register for actual household items, then simply don't register anywhere. A large percentage of your guest list will just give you money gifts out of laziness or disinterest in shopping-- so there is absolutely no need to be so make any money requests in your invitations.

There are also services online where you can "register for money" but again, making use of those services is rude and crass-- don't be tricked in to using them. It is rude to register for money in any form, for honeymoons, or to register for gift cards. It's all the same.

People will talk about how rude you were for generations, when you make large etiquette mistakes like this at your wedding.

It is more important in the long run that you be remembered as a polite and gracious wedding couple than that you receive the gifts you really wanted. Getting married is not about the "loot" that you score.

Answer 4

Well the polite thing to do would be to not expect any gifts at all. Even though you will probably recieve gifts of all sorts, no matter what you ask for, it would be rude to specify what you wanted from your guests. A wedding is a celebration and ceremony of your marriage, not a place to collect gifts from family and friends.

I suggest you do not mention it at all, but instead explain this to people IF they ask you what you want/need.

As for the gifts that you do recieve from people, you could always ask them where they got it from ('wow, this is great- where did you get it?') and then take it back to that store and return it. Some stores may give you in store credit only if you do not have the reciept for the item. A trick I have learned of how to get around this, which takes some time but is worth it if you really just want the money, is to return the item for in store credit. Then you purchase something with the credit from that store, it doesn't matter what, and then return that. Since you will have the reciept from purchasing it with the in store credit, you will then be able to get a cash refund. Another trick you can do to make this process easier is to register at a specific store, maybe just one or two and ask that all gifts/ gift cards be bought there. That way, you can do the returning all at once.

Good luck with it, and you never know some of the gifts might be keepers.

Answer 5

Here is appropriate wording for that sentiment:

"Forget that a gift is supposed to come from the heart, forget that we should appreciate the time you would spend picking out a lovely gift for us -- we are greedy, non-appreciative jerks so we only want money."

OK, I'm being a little hard on you, but not TOO hard. It is entirely inappropriate for you to put any such thing in your wedding invitations. Under any circumstances. Since it seems you really do have some kind of valid reason, you might let it slip to some of your bridesmaids and family that, since you don't have a home yet, gifts of money would sure make things easier -- and then hope they spread the word. But spreading the word yourself is entirely improper, and putting it in your wedding invitations is improper AND greedy. :)
Best of luck with your wedding.

Answer 6

I have been invited to heaps of weddings where the couple have asked for cash instead of gifts. Most of these couples have been living together for some time before they marry.

This is a poem I was given with a wedding invitation. It was printed on card and was included in the envelope and not attached to the invitation at all.

"We’ve been together for a few years now
We have pots and pans and linen and towels
We have glasses and toasters. Really quite a few
So instead of gifts we suggest this to you
If it doesn't offend and won’t send you running
What we’d really appreciate is quite simply money
We know choosing gifts can be such a pain
And this way there is no chance of bringing the same
Don’t go bezerk or rob any banks
Any little thing will make us smile with thanks
Now that we have saved you all of the fuss
We’d really appreciate it if you’d come and celebrate with us"

Answer 7

You write "We don't want gifts, but money instead" on the invites.

no, just kidding.
You might consider writing nothing about the gifts on the invitation. And instead talk to each guest individually over the phone and let them know about this. Or maybe ask your best man or maid of honour to do this for you. I think its hard to come up with any statement that would go in the invitation about this that would not sound a bit tacky.
Good luck.

Answer 8

It is a touchy subject, but I don't think you are being unreasonable for wanting money, as long as it is going toward something like a down payment for a house.

I would check with your bank. Some banks have special registry accounts, where guests can donate money toward a predetermined expense, such as a honeymoon or a house down payment. I think if you added this, along with a couple more traditional registry places, you'll be fine. Those who don't like the idea of giving money can get you something from the other registries if they want to give a gift, and those who give money can take comfort in knowing that they are donating to something very important to a couple -- their first home!

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

Answer 9

I just got married this weekend and we got mostly money. The gifts we did get were things like photo frames and some cookware (2 boxes of Pyrex from my sis who knew I had none) There is no way to do this most people will give gifts of money now or gift certificates. They are still going to want to know what you bought with the money so its not free money and you are going to have to end up with stuff. You could try registering at a travel agency for a honeymoon trip and letting your family know gift registries should always be word of mouth. Also try registering only for more expensive things and very few little items people will give money so you can pool wedding money for bigger items (new bed etc.)just make sure these items are practical not outrageous like a new Porsche.

Answer 10

If I received an invitation without any registry card or something telling me where the couple was registered for gifts- I would just give money anyway. But not everyone in the world thinks the same. I don't know any other way that is tactful though.

Answer 11

It is totally inappropriate to ask for money, in case you didn't get that message from all the comments. You might want to consider putting off the wedding until you do have a home - but won't you be living someplace where you can use the 5 toasters you will probably get? Everyone has to deal with this and believe me, you are no different.