My wedding is 6 months away & she's already driving me crazy. Actually this has been going on for a long time. She dishes out critisism & opinions but she cannot take it herself. I told her I''d like the whole family to be involved in the planning of the wedding & now she's taking control. I cannot talk to my fiance about it, & we have a child together. She thinks she's already stepped back, but I don't. We're having confrontations pretty often & todayu she said she's pulling out of the wedding completely. What can I say or do?
2007-01-04 09:50:21 · 14 answers · asked by miss independent 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Personally, as just going through this, a wedding is stressful for everyone, including his parents, yourself, your husband to be, your parents and even effects siblings if you have some. I, personally would call her, apologize, and tell her the truth of what you want. She actually could be a shoulder to cry on if you give her that chance. I'm sure she will accommodate your wishes and help if she can. Don't carry a grudge because you know, like I know, everyone is stressing to make this day perfect. Congratulations!
2007-01-04 10:10:57 · answer #1 · answered by flower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if we have the same mother in law,but seriously... I have been there and the best thing to do is kill her with kindness. Keep reminding yourself that she is the mother of the man you love, so she has some good in her somewhere. This will enable you to keep forgiving her and to love her in God's way. When she's rude to you just turn the other cheek. Keep forgiving her and when she comes back and wants to act like an adult again pretend nothing bad happened between the two of you. She has mental problems and will probably always act that way. This is an opportunity for you to practice true forgiveness. It will also enable you to grow as a person a lot. It might sound wimpy but it really develops your character and strength. One realizes it isn't important to be right all of the time. Good luck sweetie and may you have a long, happy marriage.
2007-01-04 09:56:16 · answer #2 · answered by not given 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I also had this type of problem . Ask everyone for suggestions but, remember who is footing the bill. If mom wants something you don't and she is paying for the item smile and do it but, if you are paying its your show. Take your families suggestions and incorporate the significant ones (anything that may be a family tradition you will regret not doing these)Other than that decide what suggestions you like and assign tasks otherwise you will have too many chefs in the kitchen. We asked my mother in law to say grace as this was something special for her as we had a civil marriage and she is very religious(and it actually worked)I had extra in laws to deal with and giving each one a special part in the wedding made it run smooth . Special note for you as you already have a child try to balance the babies time between grandparents for example one has them sit with them for ceremony (give your child an assigned seat for the ceremony even if they are in the wedding party children can't stand thru it and walking them down and sitting them with a grandparent still makes them feel special)Other grandparents get them for reception grandparents love to brag. GOOD LUCK and RELAX
2007-01-04 10:41:01 · answer #3 · answered by emmandal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since she is pulling out say "whew thank god, now I can finally have MY wedding." It's your wedding, you plan it and NEVER ask for any help from either parents, yourS or his. Talk with your damn fiance, how do you think you will have a successful marriage if you can't talk to each other?
2007-01-04 10:45:13 · answer #4 · answered by RoadRunner 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know, being a mother in law can be challenging. most women love planning things like weddings and can get too excited and try to take over. sometimes its hard for them to accept the fact that they had a boy, not a girl, so its not really their job to plan your wedding. tell her that you appreciate her excitement to help and give her some small jobs to keep her busy like making decorations. good luck and congrats!
2007-01-04 10:09:38 · answer #5 · answered by karli r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LET HER back away. It is YOUR wedding and your life. It's not good if you can't talk to your fiance about it as there should be NOTHING between you especially his mother. This is a sign of patterns to come. God bless and goos luck
2007-01-04 09:59:03 · answer #6 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to go ahead and pull out if she wants to. Don't back down from her....stand your ground. Let her know right up front that you won't put up with her interfering and trying to control your marriage. You'll save yourself a lifetime of pain if you do this now.
2007-01-04 10:01:42 · answer #7 · answered by IthinkFramptonisstillahottie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically, befriend her. A mother-in-law can make, or break your relationship sometimes. Otherwise, just stand your ground and tell her that its your family that youre building now and that she needs to back off and let go.
2007-01-04 09:59:19 · answer #8 · answered by Hexx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as i have the same mother in law to be and she said the same to me i told her i will make sure we send her plenty of pics and i am over it. NO ONE can afford to be more dramatic than the bride all others will have to step....
as my other half does not want to comment either way in fear of retribution from one or the other he refuses to take sides and with that i told him he will have to take the consequences of my actions in stride and without comment
2007-01-04 12:25:04 · answer #9 · answered by ray g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You HAVE to talk to your man about it; she's his mom. You did ask for help, you are just not getting the type of help from her you probably envisioned. You must be polite to her, and even get to like her - after all, she can't be awful, since she raised the man you love.
2007-01-04 10:05:50 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋