My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half, and now things seem to be changing---which relationships tend to do after a year. Lately we have been having arguements about the future---I am in college and he is working so I think that has alot to do with it---seems like we are on two different wavelengths. I care about him and love him very much and i know he cares and loves me too. We just seem so distance and our phone calls at night are getting quite, mostly on my part---I just don't know what to say to him anymore. I am just so sick of fighting and I just want so badly for us to be the way we were. Both of us have alot on our minds with school with me and work for him and I really think its putting a huge dent into our relationship. I just don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to leave but I don't want to remain unhappy either.
2007-01-04 09:49:56 · 20 answers · asked by angie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Let it go.
2007-01-04 09:51:03 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt Honesty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. All relationships are hard and have ther fair share of ups and downs. But let him know that maybe when your not doing school stuff you dont talk about it. And when he is not at work it is left there at the office before he heads home. No matter what then you guys can just talk about life. Go have a nice dinner together and a movie maybe to just unwind every now and then. Always communicate thou you wont know how he feels or thinks until the words are said once that happens then you two can find ways on how to lift each other up when times are feeling low. If fighting is what your doing you may need to take a step back and ask yourself what is it that we are really fighting about somethings are just better left untouched. Good luck to you I hope you work it out ..a year and a half realtionship is a really good foundation hope you make it and remain happy too.
2007-01-04 09:58:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arguing and fighting are part of a relationship - You being quiet on the phone may trigger in his mind that you don't want to deal with it - and may cause him to start doing it. You need to make him aware that you are there.
The worst thing you can do is start the silence treatment - what would you do if you were in his place. You guys are just going through another milestone
Just be calm and try not to accelarate the argument.
My BF and I argue - and I started noticing he gives me these trigger statements or words that just upset me - so I started callinghim on it. SO I just stopped arguing - (laughing) I would say I know you are just trying to get into a fight right now.... He would deny it - but would keep laughing - and when he would try and do it again - I would do the same - never going onto the argument.
Of course there are some arguments I had to win (for my pride of course).
I hope you guys grow together - but that means you have to figh together. Learn how to give in and let him know it would be better for him if HE would give in sometimes too.
Learning how to argue is the hardest thing in a relationship - especially when things are changing.
Good luck
2007-01-04 10:01:26 · answer #3 · answered by woozeylucy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated a guy for most of the time I was away at college and we made the stupid choice at one point to have an "open" relationship. When you decide that. It's over. Period. Maybe you should both take a break and see what that's like. You might decide you don't want to be apart.
2007-01-04 09:54:37 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry, you may not wanna hear this... but the reason ya'll argue about the future is because ya'll don't have one together. You can't change a relationship that is going downhill. Only the two of you can change it together. Both aof you have to see the problem and both have to change or else someone will be miserable and in this case it looks like it will be you.
2007-01-04 09:56:18 · answer #5 · answered by beautyzhername 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say sit down with him and let him know whats going on and what's on your mind. Together you guys can work something out that worls for both of you. But you need communication. So take some time and think about the things you want to talk to him about. Share your concerns with him, he may be going through the dilema as you. Best of luck to you both!!!
2007-01-04 09:54:35 · answer #6 · answered by Becca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u dont have nothing to talk about, why do u keep talking in the phone, maybe some space is the answer, maybe a short break up.
Talk about it. Find something new to do together.
2007-01-04 09:53:31 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if its the phone calls thats having problems.why not ask each other about each others day..if you are getting stressed out cuz of skool its easier to let it out to him so he knows more about you.and as for going downhill it seems like you both are quite busy have u both have time to spend with each other? if not find it and maybe thats the answer.
2007-01-04 09:53:34 · answer #8 · answered by itstony 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the feeling very well. Give each other time apart for at least a few weeks. If you get back together, it could be meant to be, if not, it wasn't.
2007-01-04 09:53:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two of you need to talk about this. He may be feeling the same way you do.
2007-01-04 09:53:55 · answer #10 · answered by m2little 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him how you feel. If its going downhill it might not be right. Breaks always lead to break ups in my opinion.
2007-01-04 09:53:15 · answer #11 · answered by robin_b963 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋