My parents wont let me go out, why?

Question

I am 18 and a senior and my parents DONT let me go out... ever! i have proved to them that i dont do stupid stuff like drink or smoke or anything (mostly cuz i dont find whats so fun about it). they dont mind me going out with a whole bunch of friends and the other day there was this guy that i know since 8th grade and we are really good friends, i havent seen him all this winter break and he called me to go watch a movie. my parents said absolutely not! only if you go in groups but not alone.. ever!
i am also not allowed to date and i still havent had a boyfriend because they dont allow it.
why are they doing this to me? they think that ALL my friends never date either and i have told them that i am the only one that has never had a boyfriend. i have been asked out a few times but i had to say no :(
over protective... why?!

Answer 1

Move out ASAP and then don't go crazy once your on your own.

Answer 2

You didn't say but I suspect
1) Your the oldest or only child and for certain the oldest girl in the family.
2) Your parents are from a very conservative background possibly immigrants to this country themselves?
3) They don't trust you...reason unknown.
4) Religious reasons that you have not mentioned.

I suggest sitting down and discussing the issue with them calmly. You might want to ask some questions first in a casual manner before this discussion...Like, gee mom, when did you and dad meet? How old were you? Was he the first? How old was he?

Get the drift? Once you know what they did then you can press them on why you can't do what they were doing....and if they weren't dating at 18, then you will have found out why.

Answer 3

Although your parents are being overly protective, you should be thankful that they care enough for you to only want the best. Perhaps you are still in school and they want you to focus on your education and life goals. What you need to do is sit down and have an adult conversation with your parents and explain to them that you respect and love them and want to do what's right. However, you are 18 now, and you need for THEM to help you enter adulthood. This should make them feel like you are asking for THEIR guidance and approval and not that you are demanding and pushing your way out the door. Some parents are from the old country and need help themselves entering into the next stage of life. You can be their teacher. If you make them feel important and treat them with respect I think you will get a lot further in the dating scene. Also make sure to allow them to help you in the "process" of dating. Always have your date meet mom & dad at your home. Maybe mom or dad can have dinner at the same restaurant but at a different booth. Slowly but surely, they will become more comfortable that there little girl is growing up. Good luck!

Answer 4

Maybe there's a family story you don't know about. Or they just might love you. They want the best for you. However, you can definetly say that they're overprotective. Next time your friend is in town organize a a group trip to the movies to avoid that clash with the parental units. My parents are pretty crazy strict bout stuff too. But I guess they just realized that it's going to happen. My dad does the whole meet-n-greet thing so he feels more at ease about the situation. It's hard for Dad's because they know how guys think and hate to see their inexperienced daughter get taken advantage of. So give it a rest for a month and try sitting down and rationally discussing it with them. And when they say no don't start screaming your head off at them, just think on it. Be adult since you almost are legally.

Answer 5

Well because they want to protect you. But you are 18 and other than rules such as maybe curfews (since you are living at home) and other normal stuff, you should be allowed to date. You've obviously shown you are responsible and I don't know how you can get through to them. It's amazing that you haven't tried to do this behind their backs. Shows u are very loyal and should be commended. I hope my daughter turns out like u.

P.S, I agree with Chipp I was the same way and did things that were a little crazy once I got freedom, so be very careful. I didn't get any freedom though till I moved out.

Answer 6

It is hard to understand my parents did the same thing for a long time. They just care and don't want you to get hurt. Try letting them get to know the guys you might be interested in. Like when someone asks you on a date, say " you know my parents are a little over protective, but I would like to watch a movies with you, then you treat him to renting videos and pizza and eat dinner and watch movies with your parents 10 feet away until they are more comfortable with you being away and alone from a "big, scary and threatening boy". Good Luck

Answer 7

They don't want to see you grow up, but the fact is that because you are 18 you are a legal ADULT. You can do whatever you want and they really have no right to make you stay home. I would suggest tactfully and politely explaining this fact to them and then going out- but do not stay out all night or do anything stupid. Prove to them that you are the responsible adult you are by coming home when YOU say you will, letting them know where you will be, not going out when you know you will have to go to school the next day, etc.

Answer 8

They don't want you to ruin your life with a dramatic relationship, or having sex and getting pregnant. Though you're probably too smart for that, your brain functions differently when you're in such a high-heated situation. They've probably been through it, they want better for their daughter.

They want you to go to college and they want you to make a life for yourself; they think there will be plenty of time for romance later.. when you can relax because you're financially stable.

Explain to them how you feel, and if they still say no.. they're only doing it so you'll have the best life they can give you. Embrace this topic with them, and allow them to intervene. Try having the guy come over your house for a movie.

Answer 9

Since this is coming from both sets of parents, there probably is some reason why you should not be seeing this person. Think real hard about what that is. Parents invariably are trying to protect their children, not keep them tied up in a dungeon even if that is what it seems like at the time. Talk to your parents about their reasons and try to honestly listen and be open to them.

Answer 10

If youre 18 they need to respect that youre now old enough to start making decisions. If not they should expect you to do things against their wishes. Its just the way things happen... the way people grow up.

They just want to protect you, but if theyre still doing this when youre 18 then its going to cause you more problems in the future such as moral infantism. meaning, later in life you will do things even though you know theyre wrong to do just because you were so oppressed now.

Its their turn to lighten up or your turn to rebel.

Answer 11

well for one i know it,s hard to see thier point in all this ,but believe me now days it,s for the best. maybe one of them had a bad exspearance when they where young and are scared for you because of it. or maybe they ended up doing something them selves because they got alone without others around.you and i both know that kid,s and i do mean kids tend to go a little to far if they have been sheltered way to much ,much like yourself when they do get out away from mommy and daddy right. gosh don,t be in such a hurry you will get your heart broke soon enough ok.just try and enjoy being a kid and haveing parents that care as much as yours certainly do i,m sure of that.