17 and want to get engaged?

Question

i'm 17 and have been with my boyfriend for over 18 months and we both know that we are going to be together forever - most couples are engaged by this time (not that that really matters...) but should it matter how young we are? we love each other so much but do you think that people would think that we were throwing our lives away by getting engaged now?

Answer 1

I was engaged at 18 and married just before I turned 19, do what is in your heart.

Answer 2

Getting engaged should be taken seriously, but it isn't exactly throwing your lives and freedoms away!
Do you care what other people think about your relationship's status? If both of you have future goals you plan to stick to, and can achieve these with each other's loving support in an engagement, that's a good thing. The engagement coul be a symbol of committment that is positive.
Personally I wouldn't get engaged so young because I remember being 17 and I was pretty immature... most people are and don't have their ideals for the future planned out... that takes a lot of time and it's important to be engaged to someone who has similar ideals. I had a promise ring when I was 18/19 and we only lasted two years after that promise ring. He is a college drop out working in a factory and now I am planning to go to a master's program and with a guy planning the same future. It takes a lot of maturity to be committed, but maybe you have that?... Only you and your closest family members/friends can answer how mature of an individual you are. Same goes with your partner!
I think what's important here is not to rush into an engagement or marriage because mindsets change with marriage, and a good thing can go completely downhill. Also don't feel pressured to be engaged/marriage just because you think with a "long" period of time that you should be, or else something is wrong... 18m. isn't that long.
These big events in life are also important to adding to the excitement of a relationship and once they've happened, there isn't a lot to look forward to. Remember you have lots of time and that everyone's stages come at different "ages" and points in time.

Answer 3

Your brain has not PHYSICALLY matured yet; therefore, you are not able to make a major life decision. You can be boyfriend and girlfriend, there is no reason at this point to take it any further. You don't know for a fact that you will be together forever. I was very much in love with, and thought I would marry the boyfriend I had at that age too; I didn't. Hold off on the engagement for at least 4 years. Don't you think you should be old enough to drink at your own engagement? Good Luck.

Answer 4

I personally think you should wait till you have been together for at least 2 to 2 1/2 years before you get engaged because that is a huge step and think about it you are only 17 wait a little while and then discuss the engagement. Just wait a little while because a lot of people would probably think you are throwing your lives away. I would just say wait a little while.

Answer 5

I know you don't want to hear this, but why don't you wait a little. You are going to change so much over the next few years. I am 25 and I think about some of the decisions that I made when I was 17 and wonder what the hell I was thinking! Why don't you do the promise ring thing? You can still be together, just wait a little and see how things go before making such a big committment. Best of luck!

Answer 6

It doesn't matter how long you've been together, you're not going to be the same people in the next 2,3, 5, 8 years. You are both experiencing life and discovering who you are and what it is thats important to you. Your interests and needs will change and what you want out of life and what you need to contribute to your life is undetermined at the moment. The chances of you both making these life altering changes and discoveries in a parallel direction is slim to none and a marriage would have a hard time surviving this kind of turmoil much less (god forbid) a child or two. Take your time and if your still in a relationship when you've come through this growth period then celebrate the relationship with marriage vows and it will be even more sweeter.

Answer 7

if you know you are going to be together forever, why not wait?...
i'm 23 and my boyfriend and i got together at about the same age you and yours did...i was 15 and he was 16. like you, i knew less that 2 years into it that he was the one. our relationship has changed a lot since then (we are planning on getting married in the next year or two), and your relationship will, too. planning a wedding can be very stressful for anyone, and at your age especially it may put a lot of unnecessary stress on your relationship. I say wait until you are at least 21...that way you can legally have champagne at your wedding, and you wont have to worry so much about other people's opinions. i know it seems like a long time to wait, but think of it this way, you'll have your whole life to be someone's wife, so why not take a few years to enjoy being someone's girlfriend/fiancee. I know you love him a lot know, so it might not seem possible, but you really will grow to love him more and more each day. The longer you wait, the more those vows will mean...and you wont have to deal with the rude age remarks that, even at my age, people will throw at you.
best of luck!

Answer 8

You are too young, I'm not trashing the idea you think you may be in love. However, you need to get some post-secondary education, get some independence, work out on your own in the real world - pay rent and bills. This will help you learn about yourself and the world around you, and will only change you for the better. Then you have more to offer a husband, because you will know yourself.
Your brain is not even fully developed until your early 20s! If it is meant to be, it will be - but in the future. You have yourself to develop first. Regrets are never good; you don't want to be divorced at 21.

Answer 9

I know you don't want to hear it, but you really are too young to make that decision...if you are going to be together forever, then you shouldn't mind waiting to get married just in case...I thought I was going to marry my boyfriend when I was 17...we were together 18 months also...you have no idea what a disaster that was!!!!!!!! So just be happy in your relationship and wait a few years....

Answer 10

Frankly, the majority of people your age are NOT selfless enough for marriage. That's why people worry when they hear a story such as yours.

Can you two HONESTLY support yourselves as a married couple w/o the help of either set of parents? (Rent/utilities/car/health ins/baby/college/etc.)

How sincere are you about making your marriage work? People change a lot over the next few years of your life.18-25 are years known for being turbulent.

Love is and excellent base for a marriage, but love is NOT enough to keep one together. Marriage is hard work, every day. You have to feed it and nurture it everyday, to keep it healthy.

If you are bound and determined to get married when you turn 18 then please buy, read and apply concepts in the two books I have links for below.