I am 24 yrs old and have been married twice already.My parents could not stand my first hubby who i met while in college at a club where he was an ultimate fighter.I fell head over feel and eloped with him after 3 months.Problems were numerous to say the least he had never graduated from highschool and he was participating in illegal fights to make ends meet.My parent continued to pay for my college tuition but cut off all ties with me and when i graduated college i was 3 months pregnant.After i gave birth to my daughter he became violent and in a fight with me over money broke my jaw.I divorced him and married my divorce lawyer who i thought i was in love with that marriage lasted only a year an half before i found out he was a womanizer and a con-man.I have a three year old daughter and am living in a one bedroom studio in NY.I lost a lot of money thanks to my ex. husband who stole from me.I want to ask my parents if i can come home but dont know how?
2007-01-04 08:23:44 · 13 answers · asked by Mercedes C 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I just dont want my mother to shove all my mistakes in my face!
2007-01-04 08:30:56 · update #1
I have been where you are. My first marriage ended terribly and age 23 and I remember I just called my mom and said "come and get me." They did and I lived with them off and on for most of my twenties. I would tell them that you realize that you have made some bad choices and want to get on your feet so that you can make good choices for you and your daughter. I know very few grandparents who aren't suckers for their grandkids.
2007-01-04 08:30:22 · answer #1 · answered by Sharon M 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow.
You didnt say whether you have reconciled with your parents, if they know your daughter or if they even know that they have a granddaughter.
I think you need to ask yourself WHY you want to go home. Is it for a babysitter, financial reasons, or do you realize they were right all along, and that you still need their advice and guidance?
If you don't intend to just use them, and you need them for more than just financial reasons, and they arent going to be living in a cramped home, and they arent having marital problems, then you should ask.
If you fear instant rejection, send them a heartfelt, sincere letter. This also gives them time to think before they respond.
You should be aware that going home will be hard. Two adult women living together spells trouble. Your mom, naturally, will have her own opinions on how children should be raised, and you may disagree, and your daughter will be in the middle.
They may say okay, but still expect you to contribute financially, for groceries, electric, rent, etc. They may still want you to use an outside sitter when you work, go out, etc. You may end up eating alot of crow and biting your tongue, alot.
If you are sure this is what you want to do, ask, then if they say yes, ask what the ground rules are, and be prepared to stick to every one of them, and always remember they are doing YOU a favor, not vice versa.
It also wouldnt be a bad idea to write the rules in the form of a contract, so there are no 'misunderstandings'
Me ? I'd let you come home, but.... My house, my rules.
I think my number one rule would be, no dating for a long while. Concentrate on your daughter.
2007-01-04 17:01:14 · answer #2 · answered by QueenA 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
start by making a plan for the rest of your life, e.g. what to do to support yourself and your child, and a summary of what guys you will no longer date.
Base your life's plan on being self supportive and self sufficient - don't assume someone else will marry you and rescue you. This don't mean 'give up' on future relationships, but be prepared to go it alone if you have to.
Then sit down with your parents and share your plan.
Ask them if they would be willing to help you over some rough spots. Tell them that you've learned your lesson from your mistakes, and that you would appreciate some support to help you set your plan in motion.
2007-01-04 17:29:44 · answer #3 · answered by flywho 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you made a few bad choices.
Just suck it up and be brave.
Make your parents see that you recognise your mistakes and that you have changed. As long as you wnat to go home because you want, not because you want to take their money and get a free place to stay with free childcare, then they should be happy to see you have changed and grown up enough to know that your parents were right to have severed the ties three years ago.
2007-01-04 17:04:32 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I'm sorry for the difficult road you've endured. Sometimes people need help. If you have good and rational reasons to want to move back in with your parents, then ask. I would like to suggest that since this is your 2nd marriage, that you take time for yourself and don't date for awhile. Take a chance to take a breather and get yourself back on your feet. Take care.
2007-01-04 16:36:09 · answer #5 · answered by spanky1492 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they are your parents. be humble and tell them that you feel like you have screwed up your life and you realize that you need to make some changes and you want to make a better life for you and your daughter.
then, ask them if you would be able to come home a little while to get back on your feet and start fresh.
it will give them some time with their granddaughter and i'm sure if you are willing to pay some rent and help out with the bills and show them that you have matured and aren't just looking for an easy way out, that they will welcome you with open arms.
they have probably been worried about you for some time, but didn't want to push you in fear that you would run in the other direction.
however, if you move home, just remember to respect your parents and be grateful to them. do your laundry, clean up after yourself and daughter, help pay bills, don't view them as free babysitting....
i wish you luck and i hope that they are as good of parents as mine and welcome you back with open arms.
take care.
2007-01-04 16:30:34 · answer #6 · answered by joey322 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They should let you I know a GUY who is 27 and still lives with his parent, N E way you just need to explain to your parents what is going on. Especially if you have 3 year old daughter!!
2007-01-04 16:55:53 · answer #7 · answered by jessica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ya! thats good that you divorced him thats wrong of what he did and you should tell your parents you need help tell them whats going on with you just ask them if you can stay untill you get back on your feet dont tell them how long your going to stay there cause it can take awhile to you get back on your feet where you need to be im not a mother but i understand what you are trying to say good luck and your mom will understand she wont shove your mistakes in your face make sure that she knows where you are coming from and you need help and they are the only ones that can really help you
2007-01-04 16:31:25 · answer #8 · answered by Monique 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, sounds like your life sucked for awhile. well if you really need help and they are the only solution, then I would ask.They are your parents,and im sure that they would help their child in need, no matter how old you are. just break it too them, and say well i was young and did some things that you did not agree with, but didnt your parents do the same thing? I hope things work out for you.
2007-01-04 17:10:58 · answer #9 · answered by yummy_20032001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i would let you come home..... You made a mistake, It happens to all of us at some time in our lives. They are still your parents, they love you no matter what you do, now they have a granddaughter to love to. So ask them.
2007-01-04 16:30:49 · answer #10 · answered by carpathian3030 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋