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i belong 2 a motox club and we all go riding/racing every weekend only today one of my best mates father died of an unsuspected heart attack, im gutted for him and because i feel really close to this mate it feels like a part of me has been ript out and i havent eaten or felt like doing nothing all day, does anyone no what i can do to help and feel better in myself
thankyou for your time and co-operation

2007-01-04 08:18:11 · 22 answers · asked by martin.arlott@btinternet.com 1 in Health Mental Health

this is for DAMIEN O
i hope you dont have to go through the same situation im in, god help you if you think thats puffy, how will you feel if it was your farther, some how i hope you wont give the same reply as to this question.

2007-01-04 08:33:43 · update #1

22 answers

Only time... and occupying yourself by helping his son who must be grief stricken. You may feel like that for a few days, but keep your strength up for your mate and make sure he is looking after himself too. Sudden death is a terrific shock to the system, physically and emotionally. Thank God he has a friend like you and how nice a man he must have been to be missed like this.

2007-01-04 08:22:38 · answer #1 · answered by puffy 6 · 2 1

I do know how you feel believe me my Mum died on New Years Eve of a heart attack, she was on her own and I feel so bad. The feelings that are going through me are terrible I seem to think that if I had been there with her it would not have happened. I hope with you as well as me that time does ease the pain it does not help that the funeral is still well over a week away, and my brother and myself have then got to sift through her belongings which will be a nightmare. Good luck to you

2007-01-04 11:07:04 · answer #2 · answered by Kirks Folley 5 · 0 0

hi lost my father in may 2006 and it was a big shock.he was all alone when he died and that hurts even more.even though he was your mates father dont feel guilty for feeling how you do,it just shows how much he ment to you.i never thoght id live again after loosing my dad,but here i am the start of 2007 and im smiling.my life has changed since i lost my dad,but its changed for the better.i remember my dads smiles and i still talk to him.my dad was not a relegious man but in my heart i know hes safe now.hes met up with family who went before him whilst im on this earth looking after the ones hes left behind.so i seem to take comfort in thinking hes back with some of the ones hes lost and keeping a eye on the ones hes left behind

2007-01-04 08:51:27 · answer #3 · answered by REBECCA M 1 · 0 0

When we lose someone close to us, its very difficult to understand the reasons and why it happened to them and us.
we have all agreed to our time on earth even though we dont know when that is. We agreed that time before we were born to this earth and when we were in the spirit body first.
when you have just lost someone you love you dont realy want to hear that right now. But one thing is sure we continue to exist in the spirit body once again when we ( die). The spirit can never be destroyed as it is a living energy. The peson you are continues to live in the spirit body but in a different realm or dimension which is all around us. That person can communicate with you and let you know they are there, even if its just a smell of perfume or cigarette smoke, so you can recognise who it is by that smell.
Its amazing what we can do when on the other side and the powers we have whilst there.
The love between two people can never be destroyed whatever the relationship is. Maybe to early for you to understand at moment, but in time you will remember this and understand a bit more and will be able to pass this on to your friend. I hope one day this helps. Even in (death) we can be in communication with our loved ones. They know our thoughts and can see and hear us. so encourage your freind to talk to his father, he will hear him , even if its just in his mind he talks to him.. That i can promise, and he will know he is loved. Take care, Pat

2007-01-04 08:39:03 · answer #4 · answered by pat 2 · 0 0

Maybe find someone to talk to or spend some time with your friend that lost the father and try to help each other...let him know how you feel. I'm really sorry for your loss...the same kind of thing happened to me last year. My best friends dad got hit by a car when he was on his motorcycle.

2007-01-04 08:22:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Because what has happened cannot be undone, the best thing to do is remember the good things that make you happy about that person and of course be there for your friend. things will get beter with time , dont worry. sometimes finding something to take your mind off of it works good too. try a nice video game that takes some good concentration... the person will always be there in your memories.

2007-01-04 08:29:41 · answer #6 · answered by Smokey_Nerd 1 · 0 0

I've lost both of my parents so I know how painful this is. The best thing you can do is be supportive of your friend and be there to listen if he wants to talk about. Time is the only thing that helps the grieving process. The pain never goes away but in time it gets easier to deal with.

2007-01-04 11:43:39 · answer #7 · answered by DawnDavenport 7 · 0 0

first of all, just think....that man is in a better place now. to help yourself....do something that you enjoy to do. leave all you thoughts behind or if it's to hard to let go, make a scrap-book. let it all out on paper or see a council. you will eventually (not forget) but lose thought of this horrible incident. there is nothing that you can do now. so leave all bad memories behind and always look toward the bright side.

2007-01-04 08:24:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

The loss of a precious life is always difficult to deal with.
It is good that you feel empathy for your friend and if you put yourself in his shoes, and give him all the support you can, that in the end will help you.
Bereavement is like starting a journey and you don't know where it will lead you, but if everyone had a friend like you to support them, then they should consider themselves fortunate indeed...

Of course I don't know you, but that doesn't stop me offering my sincere sympathy to all concerned.

Cassandra

2007-01-04 08:38:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

i'm very sorry for your feelings of sadness and loss, you are obviously a true friend because of the feelings you are experiencing x Spend time remembering the happy times and all the joy you shared these felings will pass but you must think positively in order for you to grieve properly x

Please take care x

2007-01-04 08:31:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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