I have been hurt numerous times in my life. No matter how hard I try I always end up getting hurt. I want to be happy but from what I learned I know it is not possible for me to be happy in love. How can I avoid falling in love again? I think that maybe I should just avoid dating guys altogether and never spend a lot of time with them. Maybe I'll get a cat.
2007-01-04 08:10:08 · 24 answers · asked by Heaven26 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can't avoid it, sorry. What you can do is change the type of guy you fall in love with. We all tend to get drawn to the same type of person over and over, usually with the same results. Take a good hard look at yourself and ask why you are attracted to a certain type of guy and they to you. Once you have done that figure out what type of guy you would like to attract and start living that life.
Remember, what makes some guys the very best boyfriends often make the very worst partners and husbands.
2007-01-04 08:16:03 · answer #1 · answered by Thomas 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to you on this one, but my advice is just this:
For the time being, sure, put your dating life on a bit of a hiatus. Give yourself all the time you feel necessary to fully recover from the past and give yourself the time you need to think things over. What went wrong in the past? What did you do then that you'd do differently if given the chance to relive it now? And remember, just because you've put your dating life on hiatus doesn't mean you should rule love out completely.
I can relate to what you're saying. My whole last fiasco in which I fell in love with a man turned absolutely sour, and I've been extremely weary of love because I don't want to feel like that again. But, as a lesson, I learned not to trust so easily; see, the issue with this is that regardless of what feelings you want to avoid, you ARE human, and falling in love and having that special someone in your life is a natural desire. It's a natural feeling that's going to take over at some point-- just like the rest of your emotions.
Getting hurt is never a fun or easy thing to live through. Unfortunately, that is life, though. You don't have to cut men out of your life entirely, and really, you shouldn't. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and if you give yourself time to analyze this, maybe you'll find out just what that reason is. Take your time, there's no rush for this kind of thing. It really can't be rushed until you're ready to move forward and get back out there again, but don't try to rule it out completely. Just let whatever happens happen, but with a conscious mind, of course.
I wish you the best, good luck!
2007-01-04 08:22:51 · answer #2 · answered by Elicit Malice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't avoid it...yes it can be painful when you try your heart out to make it work, but when it does work it will be worth it. For now you should do a little soul searching though, what did the people that hurt you have in common? what kind of relationship was it? (was it a give and take 50/50 or a give and take 0/100). What was the basis of the relationship? (sex, or common interests). If you spend all your time looking for guys, then you may not know what to do with yourself when they want some time apart.....get a hobby and start doing things by yourself, for yourself....believe me, you will be happier, and then you will find that guy that you are meant for.
2007-01-04 08:19:11 · answer #3 · answered by kerfitz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you can't avoid falling in love, and it's not possible to be completely happy without being in love! someday you'll find a guy you can trust to not hurt you. don't move so quicky into a relationship and make sure you really do love and trust the guy you are falling for. i know it hurts when your heart is broken, but that happens to everyone and you just need to shake it off and move on. everything will work out, and you shouldn't completely shun yourself from love...it's kinda impossible and really sad. i wish you the best and i hope you find true love and happiness someday, it will just take time. the sooner you heal, the sooner you can build yourself up again to be happy.
2007-01-04 08:20:30 · answer #4 · answered by Surfergirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way that you can avoid it. Someday you will meet a great person and they will instantly fall in love with you. You can't do anything about it. Cause they will like everything about you and will never change you. They will grow old with you and love you for who you are.
2007-01-04 08:13:47 · answer #5 · answered by girlygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't even bother with the cat — way too cliché. Just hang out with your girlfriends and enjoy life. Keep reminding yourself that men are unnecessary (Read Maureen Dowd's Are Men Necessary? for more on this.) and that you have better things to do than fall in love. In time, you'll become so immune to it that you'll feel like you've done it all your life.
2007-01-04 10:03:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
while sleeping with an engaged girl really isn't right, you can't let something like that stop you from loving. the point of love is that you try, and yeah, you might get hurt but thats all part of it. no pain is worth giving up love for. like they say, love is a game. it doesnt really matter if you win or lose, just that you got to play. and if you lose, fine - there will be other games. it's all worth it because when you do win, it feels so good.
2016-03-14 01:37:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is inevitable to not fall in love with someone.. If you stop dating and give up and just be you for you then the right guy who is "In" to you in all ways will make it known and you will know its real. Hang in there love hurts but the ride is always so much fun as well as a great tool to learn how to make the next time so much sweeter.. Good luck in what eve you decide to do and Cats are cool
2007-01-04 08:14:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
O.K. school is in session. First, never totally open yourself up to anyone. Remember that if you put yourself in a position where you can be hurt, chances are that you will be hurt. In a relationship, the one that loves the least is in control of the relationship. I'm not saying be cold and heartless, but love yourself first. As the relationship goes on you can open up a little at a time, but NEVER TOTALLY. Lastly, never, and I mean never, get yourself in a situation that you can't get out of, free and clear, in less that two months. Take care of yourself first at all costs.
2007-01-04 08:40:13 · answer #9 · answered by Tony J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like u always fall fast and hard. maybe try and not do that for the next guy. that way u wont get as hurt. but getting hurt is sometimes a good thing. it gives u strength for ur next relationship. u shouldn't avoid dating guys altogether because how are u gonna find ur soulmate then?! in the end it will be worth it to find the one ur gonna spend the rest of ur life with.
plus cats are scary! lol
2007-01-04 08:17:50 · answer #10 · answered by hey there :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋