Guys what are some reasons as to why you stay friends or "hang-out" with an ex? My ex dumped me a year ago yet last week he called me and asked me to go see a movie with him. Then he took me home, and when I asked him why he wanted to see me, he said that he wants to see me 'every once in awhile'. By the way, we never had sex cuz he knew that I wanna save myself for marriage. BUT, we only dated for one month, so why after one year, after HE dumped me, why does he wanna hang out and see me once in awhile? So what does he REALLY want and should I be worried?
2007-01-04 07:32:06 · 25 answers · asked by Hottie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Depends on his nature. Could be a booty call but considering you wouldn't sleep with him when dating it's unlikely he's dumb enough to expect sex now that your "friends".
It might be that he honestly wants to have a friendship with you and now that there's some distance from the failed relationship he feels comfortable giving it a try.
Or it might be as Miss Beauty says and he's trying to get a relationship back. Well, that is up to you, his respect for your values and where the friendship progresses.
I say give him the benefit of the doubt and try friends (we can always use more friends). Just be aware that some guys do have other motives. If you try the friendship just be honest and let him know that you would like to try the friendship BUT make sure he realizes that you have NO intention of getting back into a relationship with him (say it polite but firm) his reaction will tell you a lot and it'll clear the air so the friendship can progress.
2007-01-04 07:36:32 · answer #1 · answered by zen_cop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there are lots of good reasons to stay friends with your exes and lots of good reasons to move to a new city, change your name, and change your phone numbers and e-mail addresses. Breaking up is never an easy thing to do. Almost ALWAYS, somebody wants to break up, and somebody doesn't. That leads to hurt feeling on the part of one or more parties. Sometimes, when you are hurting, you do things that you wouldn't do normally. For example, how many times in war have people ended up raping, pillaging, enslaving, torturing and wiping out civilian populations?
At the same time, there are probably really good reasons why the two of you started dating in the first place. You probably have a lot of common interests and values. You probably also find each other physically attractive. The characteristics that make a good relationship also make for a good friendship. So, he may just have FINALLY seen through the pain and discomfort to see you inner value as a friend.
Or, he may want to pick up where you left off. He may just be interested in a physical relationship, or he may be interested in something more. Why don't you ask him exactly what are his intentions. Good communication is important for a friendship as well as a relationship. He MAY NOT give you the true answers, but you can analyze his physical composure and voice inflections for the integrity of the answers. If you want to go super ghetto, you can even enlist the aid of security advisors to hook him up to a lie detector machine and try to get to the bottom of these issues. He may NOT KNOW himself why he wants your company - he may just be following his heart.
2007-01-04 15:43:21 · answer #2 · answered by Sparky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you be worried? It's not like he's after sex with you. If he never got it in the relationship, what would make him think he can get it now? If he's a nice guy and you like him, then just hang out with him and have fun. Don't overthink this or try to seek out ulterior motives on his part. If he crosses any of your bouderies then you have reason to stop the friendship, but otherwise give the guy a break. You never know... you guys may fall back in love and end up getting married afterall.
2007-01-04 15:39:30 · answer #3 · answered by hortha71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to stop obsessing over this. You have been asking the same question for weeks now, and it can't be healthy to be this stuck on one issue.
OK, here's what you do to lay this to rest once and for all: Stop worrying about what his possible motives are. Nobody here on yahoo has any way of knowing what goes on in his head. And it's not important anyway why he wants to see you. All you have to decide is if YOU want to see HIM, and then either hang out with him or turn down any future invitations. It's that simple.
2007-01-04 15:40:57 · answer #4 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Control, control, er... cuntrol, that's all he wants. He wants you under his thumb until such time as you are ready to give 'it' up. By being near you 'once in a while' you've opened the door for him to ask questions about your dating habits (which you feed him the answers). He'll monitor you from a distance, but the moment that he sees you showing interest in someone else, he'll come back temporarily to divert you.
I'm a guy, and I know guys better than any woman ever will. This guy is toying with you, even if you don't see it. His intentions are not geniune, no matter what anyone says.
Final call is up to you though. Please print this and refer back to it when it happens., and trust me, it will. Take care of yourself and do not give 'it' up to this guy; wait for a non-controlling guy to come along.
2007-01-04 15:49:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he misses you. My ex-boyfriend does the same thing, he calls all the time asking, "When are you going to let me take you out?" I say no because I know he wants me back and because I have a boyfriend now. We broke up a year ago and he didn't want me back so I completely cut him off now he realizes he has messed up after a year now he wants me back. Sounds like he is just like my ex.
2007-01-04 15:36:13 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Mizz.Purdy♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a real playa! First of all he dumped you because you wouldn't put out a year ago. Now he's back to see if you changed your mind and will want to "check in" with you just to see if you've caved in to him. DO NOT BE FOOLED! Stick to your beliefs,sweetheart. Don't end up a notch in his belt or his headboard! I admire you for being sincere. Stay away from this playa.
2007-01-04 15:39:59 · answer #7 · answered by saturn man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he's thinking he can change your mind on the whole 'no sex 'til marriage thing'.
You gotta admit, calling yourself 'hottie' is a bit inconsistent with maintaining your virginity. Are there other aspects of your personality/presentation that would lead him to believe he's got a decent chance of getting you in the sack?
2007-01-04 15:36:56 · answer #8 · answered by sueflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is cheating on you with another woman, and you may not
know anything about it.I may not know the case of what you're
boyfriend is doing,but it doesn't kill to maybe hire a private investigator,in cognito who can find out exactly,what's going on and what is he up to.And yes, it is a good idea to worry if you feel he is up to something.
2007-01-04 15:45:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you sholdnt be worried. he may feel like you are the one he wants to be with and it took him a while to figure it out. he may want to get back together but doesnt want to say anything because he's unsure of how you will react. just ask him. DONT HAVE SEX WITH HIM!!!
2007-01-04 15:37:52 · answer #10 · answered by vandykeprincess06 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋