We have a 19year child who we want to move out.She will not go willingly. What is the best solution.?

Question

My wife's 19year old daughter is not willing to move out. We don't mean to be unkind but she is a disaster. I would like to get some advise on the best way to go about getting her to leave. We are looking at having to take legal action to get this done. She is not on the lease and does not contribute anything to the household. (I mean she does not contribute absolutely nothing).She believes that she is entitled to stay as long as she likes, due to some fantasy, because she thinks that we won't do anything to her in order for her to go. We gave her a 5month notice to vacate so she could save her money and get a place to live.She keeps coming up with excuses not to move. Please Help!!!
Thank You for your time and response to this important matter.

Answer 1

don't worry about being "unkind". she is no longer a minor which means you are not responsible for her any longer. she is being selfish by refusing to move out. You could help her out of course to get her on her feet. find her somewhere else to stay so she can at least appreciate the freedom of being on her own. you also could always just be a lousy housemate. ie. don't flush the toilet, leave the house a little messy, or acting inappropriately with your wife infront of her will probably do the trick

Answer 2

If I am understanding you correctly, if she would contribute to the household things would be different. You need do draw up a contract stating your desires as far as money and behavior and have her sign it and witnessed and notarized. That's what you would do to a renter right? If she does not or she breaks the lease agreement then give her the legal allotted time to vacate. If she does not then you have the right to have her forcibly evicted.

Answer 3

U A mericans have no family values to tell u the truth ,i am 30 yr old unmarried gal ,i still stay with my mom coz thank god i am in india then think of it she is only 19 yrd old not even a proper adult,if u have problems with her then put her in a school or college boarding school ,once she graduates or finihes school and starts earning then she'll leave on her own.

Answer 4

Fun stuff, huh?

You and your wife need to come up with a plan between the two of you. You need to offer her solutions and let her know that they are absolutely firm and unnegotiable.

I would base my solutions to her around plenty of options. For example: "We'll let you stay if you contribute this and this to the household," or "We will help you with your bills for the first 3 months," or "You have 3 months until you need to move out."

Come up with plenty of options and with lots of details. Most importantly, get it in writing! The biggest mistake people make is not signing any form of contract when negotiating with family members. It is absolutely essential, even something typed up at home!

Please understand, however, that she is only 19. She needs help and can not be independent regardless of how much of a mess she is. It is unreasonable to boot her out and expect her to do well. I suggest offering to supplement her income until she's 21 or something comparable. Also, please make sure you offer to let her live at home. While there is absolutely no reason she shouldn't be contributing, she shouldn't be forced out either.

My advice is at least $50 per week in rent and utilities.

Good luck.

Answer 5

there is no need to be cruel. you cant kick a family member out n matter what. ok you said "My wife's 19year old daughter " so i take it she is not blood related to you.. do you want her out or is it a family issue. instead of kickin her out sit down and talk to her. consider what issues exist between ye and try to come to a reasonable solution that considers all parties in the equation.
hope it is for a good reason if you do and not selfish ones!

Answer 6

Change the locks and call the police should she try to get in. She'll be trespassing. Don't give her any money. Someone in the family is obviously enabeling her to continue with this lifestyle - sounds like your wife may be a little guilty.

Answer 7

No excuses when the due date is up you r out so get your act together. Pack her bags for her and change the locks if need be. Help her finanially if you can.

Answer 8

wow , i would want my child to stay with me as long as he/she wants too , i cant imagine being way from them , my child is my life ... u posted this Q on yahoo India no one is gong to agree with u from here , why do u want to kick her out ? it so sad i feel so bad for her ... and u know whats so funny is that i live in the USA and i have been here all my life !! and i would never ever ask my child to pay or Evan ask them to move out i will take care of them all his life...why would u want to do that ... don't we have enough hate in the world we need to add to it .

Answer 9

if you provide too much support, there's a risk you will end up with an overly dependent child who has an unpleasant sense of entitlement -- and you could torpedo your own retirement plans.
-- Finding their feet. What to do? To help your adult children as they strive for financial independence, try these four strategies.
Talk about your own struggles. Today, your kids likely view you as affluent and successful. In all likelihood, however, you had lean years after college, including difficulties landing a job and trouble covering the bills. Your kids will have similar struggles -- and they need to know that.
If your adult children ask to move home, immediately draw up a plan with your "boomerang kids." Nail down what they will do to pursue their desired career, how they might earn money in the meantime and when they will leave.
"Their job is to take steps to move into adulthood, "Their job isn't to hang out and see what happens. If you've had a young, healthy adult at home after college for over three years, you have to ask, 'Is this in everybody's best interest?' "
Treat your adult children like adults. When they move back home, they should take on responsibilities, including paying rent, cooking and cleaning.
But this can be a little tricky. You want your kids to behave like grownups -- but you don't want to impose a slew of restrictions, effectively dealing with them as though they're children.
"What are the proper rules for your 19 year old daughter . "You have to treat him as the adult that he is and that you want him to be. You encourage independence by giving people freedom."
If you help your kids financially, aim to leverage your investment. "If parents have the money and they want to help, they should structure it as a partnership,"
For instance, if your children want to go to graduate school, you might insist that they take out loans to pay for at least part of the expense. That way, there's a real cost to staying in school -- and a real financial incentive to complete the degree and parlay it into a decent-paying job.
Similarly, if you initially subsidize your children's rent, you might slowly scale back the subsidy, while offering to match any home down payment dollar-for-dollar. That will have the double benefit of both weaning your kids financially and also encouraging them to sock away money for their first home purchase.
Don't, however, give your kids money you can't afford. For parents, it might seem logical to carry on as the big breadwinner for the entire family. After all, you're the one with the big salary, while your kids may be earning precious little.
But if, like many others, you have put off saving for retirement until your last 15 or 20 years in the work force, you really need to use your spare cash to fatten your own nest egg. That doesn't mean you can't be supportive of your kids. But your support may have to be more emotional than financial -- and that, in any case, is the most valuable kind.
Baby Steps
Try these financial strategies with your adult children.
If they move home, charge them rent -- and set a move-out date.
Make your kids pay part of grad school, so that postponing work has a financial price.
If you're helping with rent on an apartment, establish a schedule for phasing out this subsidy.
To encourage saving, offer to match any house down payment.

you have to give her TOUGH LOVE

Answer 10

God bless Western culture.Never thought these things happening in Indian families.