Should I just leave him??

Question

Happy New Years:),

I'm dating this Indian guy and he is a really cute nice guy, but he is really distant. He says its b/c of work (started a new job), but he doen't call me often. I don't know if he's expecting me to make the moves either but it is annoying. Everytime I try to just break it off, he keeps running back telling me he wants to be w/me and give it a chance, but again the distant thing is so annoying. Should I just leave and not tell him? Help me out guys:>

Answer 1

It depends on your heart, do you want to be with him? I am assuming the answer is no or you wouldn't be asking this. The question isn't are things okay with him or do you get along well. Does he make your heart skip a beat? Does he give you goosebumps? If you feel he is your one and only, stay. Some people put up walls just to see who cares enough to break them down. If he isn't 'the one' then it's time to take a break. Be careful, you don't want to waste all your time with mr.wrong because mr.right could walk right by.

Answer 2

It's a matter of different cultures. Being Indian, their dating rules are a LOT different than here in the U.S. They will spend years not talking with a girl they like, and only look at her across the room separated by lots of other people.

Crossing cultural barriers can be very difficult (I've dated many women from different cultures, and been VERY frustrated in the process). Understanding differences, voicing expectations (on both sides), working through differences, and having common life goals and values are essential to making a relationship work. This is doubly so when different cultures are involved.

It may be that you and/or he are not ready to do what it takes to have a cross-cultural relationship. It's not right or wrong, simply the way it is. His being "cute" and "nice" are a beginning, but communicating and compromise and stepping out of your comfort zones are key.

Enjoy the process!

Answer 3

Happy New Year to you too. If you want more out of a relationship than he has proven that he's able to give, then you might have to get out of the relationship. As long as you don't think he'll become violent, you should still come out and tell him that it's not working for you. Don't get really personal or emotional-the issue will only become blurred, and he'll probably talk you into staying again. But since you've had a relationship with him, you owe him the respect of not just disappearing. Good luck.

Answer 4

Try to see if he comes around first before you make your move. Try calling him sometime. But be cautious because there could be others reasons he is distant also. Maybe some secrets he has to hide. So keep your eyes open and look for small details. If this distant thing last for more than two weeks than it means that he doesn't want you like he says he does. Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Answer 5

He obviously has something going on with him..he may just really be stressed out at work. But that is no excuse for him to ignore your needs. I would tell him that if he's in a place where he can give the time and energy that a relationship takes than he needs to do that. If not, it's only fair to tell you now. It sounds like that everytime you try to tell him this and break it off, you cave in when he says he still wants to be with you. Distance yourself and make him prove that he wants you. You shouldn't be chasing him..he should be chasing you. Remember..you are worth it.

Answer 6

Don't try to break it off...just do it. You don't need to call him to try to discuss it, you could wait until he calls you and then you tell him that you are just not interested in dating him any longer. Don't let him try to persuade you or come over to try and insta-temp fix things...just tell him that its not the kind of relationship that you are looking for and he can find someone else who will work fine for him.

More than likely he is working in a very high-end job that does require a lot of responsibility and time. He more than likely makes a lot of money. If you are not the type of person that can deal with being away from your boyfriend for a given amount of time (him being distant and not being their very often) then he isn't for you. You could work through it, such as doing things for yourself--school, job, hobbies, workout, friends, etc...but most people (myself included) need more attention than some can or want or desire to give.

Answer 7

Happy New Years to you too!

It sounds like he isn't very comfortable yet to get closer...you need to think about how he acts when you are around each other. If he is standoff-ish he might be shy at making a move. Sometimes women can intimidate men, making them feel like they aren't good enough for them. It sounds like he wants to try to work it out. If this goes on too long and he doesn't call you when you believe he should, talk to him about it. If that fails then you can always break it off. Don't suffer through something you feel you have no control over. Good luck.
God Bless,
Michael DeCourcy

Answer 8

Tell him that you think he's being distant. Figure out what times your both free and see and get together then. If it works, fine, stay with him. If he is still kinda distant anyway, tell him that you're going to break up with him unless he shows that he REALLY wants to be in this relationship. If he can't do it, then break up with him. But, like I said, give it a shot, go to different places, dinner, lunch, movies, even the mall. See if he can change his work schedule a little bit to make time for you.

Answer 9

maybe it's you? He's a guy- he works- he's busy- he has a life.... you can't expect to have him call you 24/7 or at times when it's convienent for you- or at times you think you should be available to call you! If you are too needy and too clingy etc etc he will end up leaving you. He sounds like he genuinly cares about you- but relationships are a two way street- talk to him about how you're feeling and BE OPEN to his reasons of why he doesn't call as often as YOU would like. Perhaps you are just insecure? Anyways- if it isn't working for you and you are miserable- then you should just leave him...

Answer 10

you probably should get out of the relationship. If he is distant and continues to not give you what you need even tough you have talked about it, it does not seem likely too ever change. You can not change him. If you want more attention then what he wants from the relationship than he is probably not the one for you. So end this relationship and pursue someone that also shares your views.