I am a dad of seven meaning I always have to make sure that my punishments are consistent so as not to show favortism to one child in particular. However over the years I have learnt that different techniques work with different kids. Some of my kids respond best to spankings and others to their priveledges being taken away. BUT is a one minute spanking any comparison to a three week ban on the t.v or phone. A friend of mine found herself in a similar position, she spanks her six year old daughter but not her ten year old son and found that he was getting more of a punishment than his younger sister for similar misbehaviour. She now makes more out of the spanking so that her son knows that it too is a bad punishment. When her 6yr old is bad she sends her to her room for ten minutes and tells her to wait for her spanking, she then outs her daughter over her knee oulls her panties down and spanks her 18 times(3 times her age). After that she allows her daughter to pull up her panties but
2007-01-04 07:23:14 · 15 answers · asked by bren_the_dad 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
not her pants or skirt or whatever, she then makes her go around without then for an hour. After which she gets her to apologise infront of whoever saw her misbehave. It works with the little girl and she is a happy well mannered kid. Do you think this is a good idea. How do you make sure your kids understand the spanking?
2007-01-04 07:54:44 · update #1
OK all the way up until you said she has to walk around in her panties for a hour (i really don't get that at all ?????) I am for spanking, but they are to be done in privet. She is already punished enough with the spanking, you don't need the extra humiliation tactics.
The number of spanks, and panties down thing is OK. I know many will disagree with me, but it's the old fashioned way of spanking, and is much more effective. BTW it's also not sexual abuse, it's very legal to do in the US and Canada. If your not leaving bruises, or permanent marks (other then a red bottom) your OK.
Just have her leave out the extra humiliation tactics.
2007-01-04 21:19:51 · answer #1 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just as beauty, punishment is in the eye of the beholder. If one kids responds better to spanking, then spank him/her. I would say that a 3 min spanking probably isn't the equvilant of a 3 week grounding. I would say a spanking 3 times their age and a 1 week grounding of all things would be equal.
Your friend needs to reevaluate her punishment of her daughter. That is humiliating. She should not have to walk around with her pants down for an hour! The spanking is enough, the apology is enough. If I saw her do that I would do it back to her. I mean how would she like it if she had to walk around with her pants down for an hour?
I only spank my child when absolutely neccessary. Not because it is abuse, but because it doesn't hold meaning if you use it all the time. I tell him the concequences, Warn him, time out, and then spank. Most of the time we only get to the warning.
Good luck!
2007-01-04 08:11:32 · answer #2 · answered by reptmd 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
wow, thats very elaborate for a simple spanking. i think thats a little too far, it's degrading and humiliating.
maybe for a BIG punishment the combination of time out then spanking is appropriate, but not then bing made to go around without any pants. and also, 3 times her age is a lot. a few little spanks is plenty, it gets the point across. time out alone should be the regular everyday punishment though. this is too extreme.
2007-01-04 08:00:27 · answer #3 · answered by TN girl 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I think the 'value' of the punishment is in the eyes of the person receiving it. Spanking is pretty humiliating, so would carry a greater weight of punishment than taking away TV privileges for a week. I was only spanked 2x when I was kid and I'll never forget it, it was horrible and traumatising. It might not faze another kid, but it sure did me.
I've also never heard of measuring the spanking according to age... what's wrong with using time-out instead? If the parent is calm enough to figure out the appropriate number of spankings according to the child's age then I would think that parent would be calm enough to think up a different sort of punishment that is more appropriate in this day and age. Current thinking is only spank when the child is in a life- or safety-threatening situation. Otherwise, use time-out. Do some current reading on parenting!
2007-01-04 07:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by Deborah C 5 · 3⤊ 4⤋
Whoa! She is going way overboard! A 6 yr. old needs time outs. a time out is NOT done in her room where she can play. It is done in a non stimulating corner of a room on a time out chair or mat. Atime out is 1 min. per age. She would sit for 6 min. No talking or getting up. No interaction from mom.
She will not need to have physical punishment. Each child is diff. We should treat them as such. Whats this stuff about each punishment as being equal? A time out is appropriate for a 6 yr. old and wouldn't be for a teen. But taking things away from ateen is. You're not worryed about whats appropriate but equal?That sounds like your child saying to you that "she's getting off easier." Well when they were 6 so did they.Remind them of that.
2007-01-04 09:23:12 · answer #5 · answered by Teresa t 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My step father beat the crap out of me alot, and i'm only 16 now. BUT i'm not saying thats a bad thing. As much beatings with a belt he gave me, it never did much harm.
So yeah, its perfectly ok to give a spanking.
2007-01-08 01:31:33 · answer #6 · answered by Malkovich Kitten 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do people make their children pull down their pants when spanking them? That always seemed like borderline sexual abuse to me. There is no reason to spank. Watch supernanny sometime. You can see in real life how any behavior problem can be dealt with without spanking. And I know this is true because I have two kids of my own and used to spank. I don't anymore and their behavior has improved with better discipline techniques.
2007-01-04 08:14:50 · answer #7 · answered by Sharon M 6 · 4⤊ 3⤋
spanking is ok as long as u do not go overboard. pants should stay up though, or spanked once with pants down. As long as u do not leave a mark, nobody can do anything abou it. have her go to a counselor or take a parenting class. sounds like she can use help.
2007-01-04 08:12:52 · answer #8 · answered by LW 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I am all for spanking...but 3 times the age is a little much and def not with pants pulled down...that sounds like borderline abuse. HUMILIATING!!
2007-01-04 08:07:38 · answer #9 · answered by repodana 4 · 3⤊ 3⤋
I think she should have her in the corner with her red bare butt showing to anyone who comes by. That will really drive the lesson home.
2007-01-06 01:35:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋