My girlfriend kicked me out of our apt. on Monday and hasnt been speaking to me because I lost my temper...?

Question

I wasn't physical, but we both were drinking and I was mean. The day she kicked me out she told me I would have to make other permanant living arrangements. I've been living on a friends couch for right now Yesterday she called me for the first time saying she just wanted to ask me something real quick, she did and then we chit chatted and began to talk about more serious subjects. She told me how upset she was about me getting so angry and how it scared her and made her question our future together and I just listened and apologized. I promised not to drink anymore (this has happened one other time in two years). She said she still wants her space right now and not to call her, but she also said that she wants me to let her know before I make a permanant move and begin paying for my own place. I don't think she her mind up as far as what to do yet. What can I do to persuade her I am really sorry and it wont happen again, while still maintaining her space? Will things work out?

Answer 1

Definitely send her flowers or find another way to let her know that you lover her and want to work things out. I don't know exactly what you did to scare her so much so I'm not sure if it justifies her kicking you out. I think you should stop by the apartment and apologize face to face. Its always better to see the person you love then to talk about it over the phone. Good Luck!

Answer 2

A man could never possibly understand how frightening it is to see a man act that way. Especially if your living together. She now has to evaluate the whole relationship because if she stays with you and down the line you become physically abusive then what will she do ? She is probably thinking that the problem could get worse over the years to come. If you really want to do something to let her know this will never happen again why not enroll yourself in an anger management course while she takes her alone time. This will show her you care, understand and will change.

Answer 3

Things work out bud, but you have to make them work out for your favor :) ...

Ok so first you were mean, the important thing to explain to her is that happend once and that you try and will try to never let happen again. I dont know the reason why you were mean to her, but since she kicked you out becuse of that it must have been something. Nevermind that happend and we cant shift time into the way we want to, you got to accept the reality that she is hurt by the way you were mean to her + that she was frightened by the way you reacted. Accept her space, live on your friend's account for some time, but be a little tactical.

Leave her flowers on her doorstep, it might be childish but this way you wont bother her like coming over to talk, you will just give her a sweet reminder :) ... that counts for sweet cards, i love you emails or something but keep the cool contact for 1-2 events a day ... that way she will feel special and wanted by her love, but she will have all the time she wants to think about it ...

Being a subbie doesnt make you weak, it makes you able to love :)

Best of luck!

Answer 4

hey there. I am going through something similar, except I am the girlfriend.

You probably scared her. i dont know waht you said, but if you were mean enough for her to kick you out i am sure it wasnt cool. remember words can NEVER be taken back, no matter how upset you get never loose that cool and go off on your sig. other. it can destroy.

I would write her a letter actually. as long as you like. outline your own thoughts, feelings and perception on what happened and what you could have done differently. tell her that you made a mistake cuz your human, but you realize when and where you went wrong. if something she had said provoked you to be mean (not saying, but it does take 2 to tango) just tell her waht it was that set you off.

if you love this girl, you would never let this happen again. we want to be treated like a princess, and be loved. a lot of us women are pretty tuff cookies and we can survive on our own. when we find a man we let our guards down. we want to be "protected" if he hurts us in anyway, we question whether he will protect us or not.

spoil her. love her. be kind to her in every way. life is shory buddy. we can go at any minute. cherish the time you have and realize how special she is. make her feel it every day.

if you need more advice, please email me. I would be glad to help you as much as I can

best of luck

Answer 5

First of all
Be positive.
Clears your head.

Okay hear me out.
She;s scared alright, or she wouldnt have gone to the extent that she did, you have to think smart through this situation because it's a tricky one.
If she asked for her space, then be sure to give, it, dont call her 24 hours a day, but do call her enough for her to know that you care because she will want that from you, and if you dont deliver what she expects, then it's over.imagine her as your courting her all over again, like shes the girl playing hard to get, and you're trying hard to get her [yes weird]

be sincere.if you're serious about her, then a verbal apology wont work, you need to show her that you care.Send her flowers, notes, or suprise her with something that will leave he absolutely speechless
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<----------here's a crazy idea.
Send her a package. a gift of some sort, and wrap it many times, with each layer of wrapping, try 20-30, tell her one characteristic about her thats made you fall in love with her.and please oh please use your head and dont write something like "oh girl it's your T its..!"
Think of it, put some time into it, work on it.
start with.

You're a great person, and i dont want to lose you.Here are the reasons why-
Make it interesting, it will show you spent time on it, it will show you care.and keep the gift a flashy one.Like a romantic dinner, [if you're the lovey dovey couple type]- if you're the "logical" type, send her on spa trip [god wish my bf had enough brains to do that]
point is.be original in your approach and gift her with something that you know she will appreciate.

GOOD luck,
like i said.be positive. and work for it, if you want her back, you're gonna have to work for it.
Rave/

Answer 6

sounds like your a mean drunk, even if it is only once in a while. you can still drink, as long as you know when to stop! That is VERY important.

For now, give her her space. And maybe get involved in AA (i know, i know, not really a drinking problem, but they will be there to support you and is cheaper than reg. therapy for anger managment) you might want to consider the anger management therapy as well. If you really want to show her you are willing to do something to get her back, and do it seriously as well.

I have been through this, an abusive relationship, and even if it is only verbal abuse once every 2yrs, it is STILL abuse.

If you truely care and love this woman, show her that you are serious, contact her once, maybe through email (an impersonal way) to let her know your plans, or better yet, tell her AFTER a couple of sessions.

Answer 7

First of all, my boyfriend never gets physical but can be a total a@@ when he drinks hard liquor. If he drinks beer he's fine. You have to give her her space, but do not promise something you cannot keep. If she doesn't make up her mind soon, then you need to move on. I hope you can work it out and really when your both drunk, you can be total jerks to eachother. I think you sound truly sorry and she needs to realize that. But if she cant live with that, then it's best to find out now instead of later. Good luck to you both.

Answer 8

I think you both have issues, she is stalling, probably because she loves you, but you are not taking any positive steps to let her know you are truly sorry about what happened. It sounds like you might have an anger management problem, and if this is the case, you need to seek some kind of therapy, such as an anger management class. When a person is intoxicated, their true nature almost always comes out. As for your living arrangements, I think you should try to find somewhere else to live while you straighten yourself out.

Answer 9

all i get to say is your a jerk but now i will help you..

ahemmm by her flowers and some stuff take her out

and show her you would do anything to make it up to her

and talk about and be honest and say you wont drink anymore and then in the long run prove to her that you can change

if you really love her that is if not just move one youll find better ones..

ok but oh yeah give her some space she'll come around girls always do she was just reacting thats all

p.s dont worry jerk...

Answer 10

mate whats going on do you love this girl, if so i know it sounds extreme but seek help i know from experience same situation as yours but i lost my girl because of one drunken arguement go to anger management even if you only argue like that every blue moon its worth the course it teaches you different ways to deal with situations that arise if you do nothing and be seen not to be doing anything you may lose your girl and she will never take you back if she feels scared........ I lost my girl and i still think about what if i had only done the course earlier ,. i am married to another girl i am very happy and love her very much but i still wonder what could have been from time to time, what im trying to get through to you is if this is your love of your life do every thing humanly possible to get the trust back good luck mate I hope the final outcome is a positive one.

mick